Tips On How To Handle Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is the feeling that parents experience when they send their children off to college or when their children leave home for a new adventure after high school. Parents who have had their children at home for many years inevitably feel this way.

There are many reasons you may feel this way when your children leave home, but one of the biggest reasons is for parents who have only one child. This experience can hit them particularly hard, and many parents describe feeling very empty, as if they have a hole in their chest.

Whether you are a parent currently experiencing this, a parent who will face it in the future, or someone who is just here to read along, you will find these coping strategies for empty nest syndrome helpful. Many parents go through this every year, yet not many people shed light on how they feel.

This situation is undoubtedly interesting because many parents likely feel this way, and hopefully, these coping mechanisms can truly help those going through this difficult adjustment. Let's dive in and explore how people have been able to cope with their empty nest syndrome and how you might be able to cope as well.

Empty nest syndrome has been hitting parents hard, but there are ways you can cope with it.

Tapashi Rabeya spoke about her only son leaving home and how she, as a divorced single mom, has been dealing with her feelings. She said she plans to live "vicariously through him," but she explained that she feels very anxious.

"The closer it gets, the more daunting it becomes," Rabeya said. "I'm trying not to think about myself too much, but I feel a big, empty hole in my chest. He's my only child. I've invested everything into him."

An emotional rollercoaster is the perfect way to describe it.

Monica Vermani, a clinical psychologist, stated that this is real and can be an "emotional rollercoaster." "Empty nest syndrome is real," she says, and she continued to explain that parents can "feel lost."When a parent's role as a primary caregiver changes, it can cause a lot of confusion as they navigate a new relationship with a child who no longer needs to be cared for in the same way. "You spend so much time and energy being parents that you lose parts of your individuation and your connectedness to your partner," Vermani said."When your child goes to school, it’s about feeling that change of, OK, I've gone from giving myself to this child and helping raise them with the values to be self-sufficient, and now I don't know what I'm like without them."Pexels

There are many ways you can cope with this new situation and navigate it as best as possible.

The first step is to trust that your child is ready to go off on their own. Being confident in your skills as a parent to prepare your child for the "real world" is essential in knowing that your child will be okay without you.

"The situation is always hard for parents," Vermani says. "We raise these kids who were reliant on us for survival, and now they want to be individuals independent of us. So that's about us cutting the cord too, and working on our own anxiety while trusting that we've given our kids the tools, skills, and values to be good human beings who contribute to society and live their own lives."

Embracing new roles that don't necessarily involve caregiving is also beneficial. Finding new hobbies, volunteering, going on vacation, or doing things you wouldn't normally be able to do with a child are great options.

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Understanding Emotional Impact

Dr. Madeline Levine, renowned child psychologist, emphasizes that empty nest syndrome can be particularly intense for parents who have dedicated themselves entirely to their children. She notes that when children leave, many parents struggle with feelings of loss and identity crisis.

Levine advocates for proactive engagement in hobbies and social networks to alleviate these feelings. By nurturing personal interests and friendships, parents can rediscover their identities beyond parenting, leading to a healthier emotional transition.

A relationship expert highlights that the empty nest phase can be an opportunity for couples to reconnect. Without the daily distractions of parenting, there's a chance to invest in the relationship. Dr. Eli Finkel, a relationship researcher, suggests couples should intentionally schedule regular date nights or activities they both enjoy.

This proactive approach not only helps maintain connection but can also reignite romance. Additionally, open conversations about each partner's feelings during this transition are crucial for mutual understanding and support.

It's always great to find support and connect with other parents who might be going through the same thing as you.

Many parents have said that finding new hobbies or starting a new business could help you feel a sense of purpose that may diminish as your children grow older. Many parents suggest leaning into the fact that you no longer have children holding you back from anything and enjoying the changes in life.

Connecting with people and finding friends who may be experiencing the same situation can provide you with someone to relate to. This is also a great way to make new friends and fill the time that used to be occupied by your children.

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People who go through empty nest syndrome definitely face a significant adjustment, just as the child does. It's a huge transition for both parents and children, but it's important to remember your role as a parent and trust your parenting style.

If you're confident that you have set them up for success, then there’s no reason to worry about them.

Clinical Perspective & Next Steps

Empty nest syndrome, while challenging, can also serve as a catalyst for growth and reinvention. Experts like Dr. Sue Johnson suggest that recognizing and articulating emotions surrounding this transition is vital. By embracing this phase as an opportunity for personal development and relationship enhancement, parents can foster a healthier, more fulfilling life.

In conclusion, investing in oneself and the partnership can transform potential loss into a rich period of rediscovery, allowing for deeper connections with both self and partner.