This Husband Insists His Wife Stay Home With Their Kids So He Can Attend Her Brother’s Wedding Without Her
"He asked if I was serious about considering leaving our 2-year-old with a babysitter and suggested that I do what I normally do and stay home with the kids."
One family wedding turned into a full-blown standoff when a husband decided he should be the one to go, even if it meant his wife staying home with the kids. The problem is, the wedding is her brother’s, and the couple’s disagreement has everything to do with babysitters, control, and who gets to make the final call.
Reddit user u/3465throw_away says her husband refuses to leave their children with anyone else, but he still wants to attend the child-free ceremony on his own. Since she is a stay-at-home mom and rarely goes out, she feels like this should be her chance to be there for her brother’s big day.
Instead, her husband says she should stay home and accept it. Now the internet has thoughts, and the family tension is only getting worse. Read on.
This Reddit user asked, "AITA?" for refusing to miss her brother's wedding to stay home with the kids.
Kevin Phillips (not the actual photo)You can read the story in full below.
u/3465throw_awayThe Reddit user insists her husband helps out a lot with the kids.
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But when they received an invitation to her brother's child-free wedding, the argument started.
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Her husband dismissed her request to get a babysitter so that she could attend the wedding.
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He said she should make the "sacrifice" for the kids.
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He even accused her of being petty.
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He said she should think of it as a "business trip" that she didn't need to go to.
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He called her "selfish" and "spiteful."
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He tried to make her feel guilty for wanting to go.
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So, what do you think? Is she in the wrong here?
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Here's how people reacted.
People were quick to point out the husband's sense of entitlement.
And that HE should be the one to stay home with the kids if he refuses to get a babysitter.
One person labeled the husband "unhinged."
And another pointed out that the husband is just being controlling.
It's HER brother, after all.
And if anyone should have precedence, it's her!
Someone pointed out that it's messed up that she hasn't been allowed to go anywhere without her children for four years.
And another said the husband needs therapy.
The overall consensus? NTA!
The conversation quickly shifted from wedding plans to a bigger issue at home.
“The key to a resolution becomes communication and the concept of picking your battles,” says relationship coach Jessica Brighton. “You need to have an extensive conversation to discuss your feelings and where each of you stands on the issue."
Jessica says that if compromise can't be reached, the only option may be to just let it go. "If you determine that you are still unable to find common ground, then a compromise and agreeing to disagree may be your best plan of action.”
“We all have to deal with negative issues and unpleasant situations in other avenues of our lives,” she said. “Why deal with one more in your personal life?"
Focusing on the good is paramount. "If you determine that the positives in your relationship outweigh the negatives, I suggest you embrace the positivity and happiness that your relationship brings you and focus less on the one negative issue,” she said.
If nothing else, it's important to be understanding of our partner's feelings and needs. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for someone is to compromise when we least want to.
What's your take on u/3465throw_away's situation? Is she being selfish, or is her husband the one in the wrong?
Before you call it “petty,” read how one woman left a family gathering after in-laws’ hurtful comments. Should I Have Stayed? Dealing with In-Laws Hurtful Comments at Family Gathering.
