Young Redditor Saves $7K To Escape Chaotic Home, But Family’s Reaction Throws Everything Into Turmoil

Growing up as the fourth oldest out of ten children shaped the OP’s life more than they ever wanted to admit. Their mom was already pregnant with her eleventh, which made the Redditor’s environment feel even more suffocating.

The OP had dreamed of leaving since they were twelve, longing for a space that wasn’t bursting at the seams. They began saving money early, hoping an exit strategy might one day become real.

Sticking to a savings plan wasn’t easy, but the Redditor eventually collected $7,000 by the age of twenty-one. They even told their mom their full-time job was just an unpaid internship so she wouldn’t demand their paychecks.

Their mom had a long history of relying on her children’s income, especially since her boyfriends never contributed financially. For the OP, each hidden dollar felt like a step closer to independence.

The Redditor wanted nothing more than a peaceful home with no constant background noise of crying toddlers, clattering dishes, or arguments over chores. They craved the freedom to breathe, think, and live without feeling trapped in a revolving door of responsibilities.

New York City had always been a dream shared between the OP and their friend. When the friend’s uncle, a building super, offered them an apartment at a great rate, the fantasy suddenly felt like fate stepping in.

A job interview sealed the deal, and the Redditor knew it was time to tell their mom they were moving out. None of the four older siblings had ever left home, so the OP had no idea how such news would land.

It landed badly, to put it mildly, as the mom immediately demanded to know how the Redditor could afford New York rent. Once the OP revealed their savings, everything spiraled.

Their mom lashed out, yelling about how she struggled to pay rent, buy formula, and cover diapers for the youngest kids. She brought up a twin toddler’s surgery from two years prior, insisting the OP should have contributed financially because those were their siblings.

Just when the Redditor was preparing to leave, the situation escalated further. Two weeks before the flight, their mom fainted at work and was rushed to the hospital.

Doctors warned that the pregnancy was dangerously high-risk after years of complications. They even advised her to terminate, explaining that the baby could cost her life.

The mom refused, arguing she’d been having children since she was fourteen and wasn’t going to stop now. While on hospital bed rest, she called the OP begging for money to pay for a special procedure to help the baby.

The Redditor felt torn, but the math didn’t work; their savings were barely enough to carry them through the early months in New York. Losing that security could destroy the entire plan before it even began.

The OP explained they couldn’t spare the money without jeopardizing their future, but their mom exploded again. She accused them of being selfish and insisted that moving didn’t matter compared to her life and the baby’s life.

Then the siblings joined in, calling the OP evil and insisting they were young enough to delay the move. The Redditor found themselves surrounded by guilt from every direction, painted as cruel for wanting stability.

But deep down, the OP knew that if they stayed, they might never get out. They still planned to help financially once they were steady, and even offered $500 upfront.

Instead of taking the offer, the mom hung up on the OP. That moment made the Redditor realize just how impossible it would be to please everyone.

With the flight looming, the OP packed their bags and left to stay at a friend’s house. It was the first step that truly felt like freedom.

Support from commenters flooded in once the Redditor shared their story. Strangers reminded the OP that choosing a better life for themselves didn’t make them heartless.

Their confidence grew as they realized they weren’t abandoning their family—they were simply refusing to sacrifice their future yet again. For the first time, they let go of the guilt that had weighed them down for years.

Now the OP is ready for takeoff, stepping into a future they painstakingly built dollar by dollar. And despite the drama, they don’t feel bad anymore—only relieved, hopeful, and ready for what comes next.

The OP had dreamed of leaving since they were twelve, longing for a space that wasn’t bursting at the seams.

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Here’s the original post by Reddit user ‘dhdhsjsnsns’.

I’m the fourth oldest of ten kids. My mom is currently pregnant with her eleventh. Yup. Ever since I was twelve I wanted to move out. I’ve been saving up money. It’s been hard actually not spending but I’m now 21 and have saved 7 thousand dollars. My mom knows I work full time but I lied and told her it was unpaid internship otherwise she would have made me give her the money. Her boyfriends literally don’t have money so she has been my siblings and I’s checks since forever. I’m sick of living in this house with so many people, there’s nothing more I want than to move away and live by myself finally.My friend and I always talked about moving to New York and her uncle is a super who offered us an apartment at a really good rate recently. The idea went from being just something we talked about to actually being a reality. Once I secured a job interview, I knew it was time to tell my mom I was moving out. Despite having four older siblings, none of them have moved out. I didn’t know how she’d react. She was extremely upset and asked me how I had the money to move to somewhere as expensive as New York and pay rent. I admitted to saving money and that’s when she lost her shit. She started screaming up how I know she’s struggling to pay rent and pay for her baby’s formula and diapers and one of her twin toddlers had to have surgery two years ago and I didn’t offer a dime and they’re my siblings.Two weeks before my flight, my mom fainted at her job and was hospitalized. They said that the pregnancy was too high risk, she had problems with her other pregnancies before this one and almost died with her last pregnancy and they advised her to abort otherwise the baby could cost her life. She refused to abort saying she’s been getting pregnant since she was fourteen, it wasn’t gonna kill her now. She’s was in the hospital on bed rest and she called me begging to send her some of the money not even all to pay for a special procedure to help her baby. I literally can’t afford to waste a dime, my money isn’t gonna last long and even with a job lined up I didn’t want to risk potentially wasting all my money before I even got to New York so I told her I couldn’t. She went off calling me an asshole saying moving isn’t as important as her and her babies life. All of my siblings are saying I’m evil and that I can wait to move later and that I’m young and I’m a major asshole for not helping at all. Once I get more stable I do intend to send her money. I offered 500$ and she hung up. I don’t know if I’m wrong or not.—Thank you all for your advice. I feel much better about my decision. I’m staying at my friends house with my bags until our flight tomorrow. Your words of encouragement have been nothing but amazing. I don’t feel bad at all anymore.

The Importance of Financial Literacy

Financial experts emphasize the significance of financial literacy, especially for young adults planning to leave home. Suze Orman, a renowned financial advisor, notes that understanding budgeting and savings is crucial for achieving independence.

She suggests setting specific savings goals and creating a budget to track expenses. By doing so, individuals can ensure they’re not just saving money but also making informed choices about their spending habits, ultimately leading to financial stability.

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

eatthebunnytoo

Seems suss.

Beautiful-Concern144

Child development specialists often highlight the psychological effects of growing up in large families. Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a child development expert, explains that children in such environments may struggle with identity and autonomy.

She points out that creating personal space, both physically and emotionally, can be vital for their development. Encouraging children to express their feelings and needs can foster a sense of independence and self-worth, which is essential as they transition into adulthood.

This is really unfair.

Deleted user

Money can’t fix everything.

Deleted user

She’s putting herself at risk.

Limpy_Mix_2605

Navigating Family Dynamics

Psychologists recognize that leaving a chaotic family environment can lead to mixed emotions. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of maintaining healthy communication during such transitions.

He advises establishing boundaries and practicing assertive communication with family members. This approach can help individuals navigate the complexities of family dynamics while still honoring their own needs and aspirations. Understanding and managing these dynamics can ease the emotional burden that often accompanies such life changes.

Time to freeze your credit.

LondonCalling07

“This sounds like a nightmare.”

typicalaquarius

Stop having kids if you can’t afford them.

Slight-Concern-8391

Experts in adolescent psychology suggest that financial planning should begin early for those in crowded family situations. Dr. Carol Dweck, a motivation researcher, highlights the value of a growth mindset in achieving financial goals.

She recommends setting incremental goals and celebrating small achievements. This strategy not only fosters resilience but also builds confidence as young individuals take steps toward independence. By framing challenges as opportunities for growth, they can better manage the stress of leaving a difficult home life.

Run while you still can!

Zombiemommy1980

Get out now!

readsomething1968

Take advantage of your options.

Jazmadoodle

Support Systems Matter

Building a support system is vital when transitioning away from a chaotic family life. Experts stress that connections with friends, mentors, or community organizations can provide the emotional backing needed during this pivotal time.

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher and author, highlights how vulnerability in seeking help can lead to stronger relationships and resilience. By reaching out, individuals can create a network that supports their journey toward independence and personal growth.

It’s not your problem.

StripeyMoron

“You are not the parent.”

SituationSad4304

She needs to “close down the shop.”

Unfair_Tonight_9797

Financial planners suggest that young adults should start with a realistic budget after leaving home. David Bach, a financial author, advocates for the 50/30/20 rule, where 50% of income goes to needs, 30% to wants, and 20% to savings.

This budgeting method allows for flexibility and prioritizes essential expenses while encouraging savings. Implementing this strategy can foster financial independence and help individuals manage their funds responsibly as they embark on their new lives.

Sometimes the bravest thing a person can do is step away from the chaos and choose themselves, even when their own family calls it selfish. For the OP, tomorrow’s flight isn’t just a move—it’s a long-overdue beginning.

Expert Opinion

This Redditor's journey highlights a classic struggle between individual needs and familial obligations, often rooted in guilt and loyalty. Growing up in a large, chaotic household likely fostered a strong desire for autonomy and self-preservation; when they finally took steps toward independence, the backlash from their family reflects their own unresolved feelings of dependency and fear of abandonment. It’s a reminder that seeking personal growth can sometimes be perceived as betrayal, even when it’s essential for one's mental health and future stability.

Practical Steps for Healing

Transitioning from a crowded family environment to independence is no small feat. Experts like Dr. Tina Payne Bryson advocate for developing personal autonomy through emotional expression and boundary-setting. By prioritizing financial literacy, establishing solid support systems, and maintaining healthy family dynamics, young adults can navigate this challenging period more effectively.

With the right tools and mindset, they can transform what might seem like a daunting escape into an empowering journey towards self-sufficiency and emotional well-being.