Dead-Beat Mom Resurfaces To Demand Full Elder Care From Daughter After Finding Out That She’s Now Successful

Our narrator’s childhood was a chaotic affair. At the tender age of two, her parents split, and by six years old, OP’s mother gave up on her half-hearted attempt at mothering. 

She moved far away, remarried, and birthed a new baby — one she deemed worthy of a mother’s love.

In the wake of this, full custody was granted to OP’s abusive father. From then on, it was a rollercoaster of bouts of abuse and homelessness, all while her father bounced in and out of jail.

When OP lost her dad to an overdose, her mother still refused to claim custody. Since she was old enough, she was branded a legal orphan. Luckily, a few perks came with that, like a free ticket to college. 

Gradually, OP clawed her way out of adversity, using the military as her ticket to escape a haunting past. Now happily married, she’s built a fantastic life for herself.

Just when you thought the plot couldn't get any more gripping, enter the estranged mother, breaking a seven-year silence with an unexpected olive branch.

She’s armed with apologies and a moving sob story, clamoring for reconciliation. OP tentatively forgave, but this didn’t necessarily pave the way for a conventional mother-daughter bond. 

OP and her half-sister also built a newfound connection. Over lunch one day, the topic of their mother's elderly care emerged.

OP declared her commitment to emotional support but drew the line at shouldering financial or physical responsibilities.

The half-sister was visibly upset and swiftly conveyed this startling revelation to their mom. This sparked a barrage of phone calls, desperate pleas, and emotional manipulation — all from a woman who didn’t even care enough to raise her.

With a scornful laugh, OP hung up the phone. Her mind was set in stone, and that was that.

The story in detail

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A bit of background

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OP’s mom reached out to reconcile after years of being absent in her life. While OP agreed to reconcile, she isn’t keen on building a close relationship with her mom

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The Effects of Abandonment on Adult Relationships

Abandonment issues often have profound impacts on adult relationships, influencing trust and attachment styles. Dr. Judith Herman’s research on trauma highlights that childhood abandonment can lead to long-lasting emotional scars, affecting one's ability to form healthy connections.

In this case, the daughter’s resistance to caring for her mother reflects a protective mechanism against re-experiencing past pain.

OP made it clear to her half-sister that she has no plan to financially support their mom when she gets too old to care for herself

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Ever since, OP’s mom has been blowing up her phone to get her to change her mind

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Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“She wasn’t a mother to you when you needed her, so she can’t expect to be treated like one now.”

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The psychological concept of 'earned security' suggests that individuals can develop healthier attachment styles through supportive relationships in adulthood. According to research published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, individuals who experience consistent support can learn to trust again.

This can be a crucial factor for those who have experienced abandonment, as it provides a pathway for healing and growth.

“You owe this STRANGER nothing, OP. She has only come crawling back now because she realizes she is in trouble and needs your help.”

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“She thought she could try and play nice just to get her grubby hands on someone who would support her financially.”

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“Her apology doesn’t change the fact that she abandoned a helpless, innocent six-year-old. She has had a lifetime to prepare a plan.”

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Exploring the Dynamics of Caregiving

Caregiving dynamics can often reveal unresolved conflicts and emotional dependencies. Dr. Virginia Satir, a pioneer in family therapy, emphasized that caregiving should be a mutual exchange of love and support rather than a one-sided obligation.

In this case, the daughter’s reluctance to care for her mother may stem from feelings of resentment and unreciprocated support.

The Reddit Community stands behind OP in solidarity. The reason for her ‘surprise’ reconciliation finally came to light.

With a collective nod, they emphasize that no amount of apology can mend the chasm left by years of neglect.

The digital chorus rings in encouragement, giving OP their stamp of approval. 

What do you think about this story? Let us know in the comments. 

Establishing healthy boundaries is vital for navigating complex caregiver relationships. Encouraging open discussions about expectations can help prevent feelings of obligation from overshadowing genuine care.

Therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, can assist individuals in processing their feelings and setting appropriate boundaries.

Healing from Past Trauma

Healing from past trauma requires a multifaceted approach that includes emotional processing and relational rebuilding. Dr. Peter Levine’s work on somatic experiencing focuses on the body’s role in trauma recovery, emphasizing that individuals must reconnect with their feelings to heal.

Engaging in therapeutic practices that encourage emotional expression can facilitate this process, allowing individuals to address deep-seated issues related to abandonment.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the complex emotional landscape that can arise from past abandonment experiences. It’s critical for individuals to recognize these feelings and work towards healing through open dialogue and support.

Encouraging mutual understanding can create a pathway for healthier caregiving dynamics within families.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Abandonment issues can significantly complicate caregiving relationships, creating a cycle of resentment and obligation. Understanding these dynamics is essential for fostering healthier interactions.

Ultimately, addressing past traumas through open communication and therapeutic support can lead to healing and improved familial relationships.