Ex-Boyfriend and Best Friend Invite Me to Wedding After Betrayal: How to Handle Insistent Requests?

A woman who spent three years moving on from a betrayal just got hit with the most awkward invitation imaginable, her ex-boyfriend and her former best friend want her in their wedding party.

Back when Josh left her for Ana, he and Ana didn’t just fall for each other, they let her believe everything was fine while cheating and lying. She cut both of them off, blocked them, and even moved to a nearby town so she could keep distance without losing contact with her family.

Now the wedding talk is back, and the insistence is getting weirder by the day.

Original Post

Three years ago, Josh, my boyfriend of about 1.5 years, broke up with me because he had feelings for Ana, my best friend. We hung out a lot, and they said that they eventually developed feelings for one another.

They admitted that Josh had been cheating on me. They made a fool out of me.

They made me think that everything was okay when it was really not. If they had admitted it at that time, I would have tried to be understanding and support them, but they chose to lie.

So I cut them both off. I focused on school and found a job with a good income.

Josh and Ana tried to reach out to me at first, telling me that they still wanted to be friends, but I blocked them. Now, I am living in the town next to our hometown.

I got a wonderful job opportunity, so I moved, but I liked that I was still close enough to visit my parents and other relatives. About a month ago, I heard about their wedding from a mutual friend.

It didn't really bother me anymore, so I just went on with my life. A week ago, I received a message from Ana, telling me that she and Josh were getting married and that they would like me to be a part of the wedding party.

I replied, “Congratulations. No, thank you.” I had no feelings for Josh anymore, and I’m even seeing someone else, but I don’t want to celebrate the wedding of two people who betrayed me.

They were insistent. Josh also messaged me via a different number.

Some of my friends also tried to convince me to come to the wedding. I firmly said no.

Even my mom called me, asking if I was going, and when I said no, she sounded disappointed, but she didn’t push it. This is all just quite weird to me.

Why would you want your ex-girlfriend/ex-best friend, the girl you cheated on, to be part of your wedding party? The day before yesterday, Ana’s parents called me, telling me that they missed me and really hoped I could go to the wedding.

I firmly said that I would not be going. Her mom berated me, saying that I should let bygones be bygones and that I should be happy for her daughter.

I asked her if I cheated with Ana’s boyfriend and then invited her to the wedding, would she convince Ana to go? She had no answer to this, and I hung up.

This is quite getting out of hand because I’m receiving more than 20-30 calls and texts a day from their friends and family about this wedding. Any advice on how to handle this?

Also, any insights on why they want me to go to their wedding? I don’t think it’s normal that they are so insistent.

EDIT: Hi! Thank you so much for all the advice; I didn't think this would get so much attention.

I just want to clarify a few things that I read about in the comments, though I'm very sorry that I have not yet read all of them. First of all, my mom is NOT going to the wedding, but I THINK she wants to go; that's why she was asking me if I was going.

I'm going to talk to her after work. Ana messaged me from a different number.

I don't know how she got my number. Also, my hometown is a small town, and most of our friends did know that I was cheated on; that's why this seems so weird to me.

I did block the people who were very insistent (including the new numbers of Ana, Josh, and Ana's mom). Also, I keep blocking the people that text me about the wedding, but new numbers just keep popping up, which makes it even weirder that people are actually making an effort to get new numbers just so I would attend an ex's wedding. I'm going to talk to a close friend who still lives in my hometown.

She hates Ana for what she did to me, and she may know what's going on. That's all for now.

Thank you so much for all the advice in the comments and messages!

Receiving a wedding invitation from an ex-boyfriend and a best friend after a betrayal is sure to stir a whirlwind of emotions. This complex scenario highlights feelings of betrayal, confusion, and guilt that can arise when personal boundaries and loyalties are tested. The invitation itself becomes a reminder of unresolved attachments, making it imperative for the recipient to approach the situation with care.

It's essential to consider the motivations behind the couple's request. Are they looking for reconciliation or seeking validation? Understanding their intentions can add another layer of complexity to the response. In navigating this emotional minefield, one must weigh personal feelings against the dynamics of friendship and past relationships.

Comment from u/AutoModerator

Comment from u/Chrisv6296

Ana messaged her with wedding-party plans after years of silence, even after Josh had already proven he could not be trusted.

Comment from u/Plus_Data_1099

They want you at the wedding to help relieve their own guilt; they think it will make people believe all is forgiven and forgotten when, in reality, no one will ever trust these two people with their partners or friends. Let them rot, and if people go on and on, cut contact with them too.

Comment from u/Spoonbills

Comment from u/caclexis

Comment from u/SubstantialMaize6747

When OP said “Congratulations. No, thank you,” Josh slid into her DMs from a different number like that somehow changes the past.

It also echoes the dilemma in a pregnant woman wondering if she crossed the line by announcing it at her best friend’s engagement party.

Even OP’s friends and her own mom got pulled into the pressure campaign, with her mom sounding disappointed when she refused.

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, it is crucial to engage in self-reflection and assertive communication. Accepting an invitation to be part of the wedding party, given the circumstances, could significantly impact one's emotional health. It is perfectly acceptable to decline such an invitation if it means protecting oneself from further heartache.

Comment from u/Enough-Pack7468

Proud of you for having self-respect and keeping these toxic people out of your life!

Comment from u/Plus_Stuff_vin

Stay away from them. Don’t even wonder why they are so weirdly obsessing over you being part of their wedding! Tell them to MOVE ON. Straight up tell them to stop bothering you. Tell them that they are entering harassment territory, and you will not hesitate to exercise your rights if they don’t stop. Yikes.

Then Ana’s parents called, claiming they “missed” OP and basically demanded she treat their betrayal like it never happened.

Comment from u/Agile-Wait-7571

This is like small-town s**t? I’m mystified by this.

Comment from u/Samwry

I'm actually astonished. Are people really this morally ambivalent? The couple themselves are amazingly selfish and sound rather insecure to invite the victim of their sordid behavior to their wedding. But why would others feel the need to chime in? You are correct in telling them, "No, I won't be attending." For those who insist, I can only hope that they do not know the real story about how the two got together. Perhaps they are not aware of the details. In that case, fill them in! Just say, "Well, since they both cheated on me, lied to me, and snuck around behind my back, I am sure you can understand why I am reluctant to attend."

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

Here’s the full story, OP is being asked to celebrate the exact people who humiliated her in the first place.

Want boundaries too? See how one Redditor tried to make an overbearing mom move out over privacy.