“It Changed How I See People” - Expat In Mexico Learns The Power Of Everyday Courtesy

It started small, like the kind of moment that should be harmless. Louisa Rogers, an expat living in Mexico, kept running into the same neighbor, and the second time around she finally said “Hola.” It felt natural to her, but it also felt wrong in the way locals seemed to notice, even when she did not.

In Mexico, greetings are not just polite, they are the default setting. Louisa learned fast that walking into a shop or boarding a bus without “buenos días” or “buenas tardes” can land as cold, and even passing someone eating calls for “buen provecho.” The tricky part was that Mexico’s courtesy did not stop at face-to-face moments, her WhatsApp chats were expected to open with “buenos días” too, and time-based greetings had to match the moment, not just the person.

By the time Louisa figured out what to say, she realized the bigger change was how she started seeing people, one greeting at a time.

In Mexico, greetings are essential. Entering a shop or boarding a bus without saying "buenos días" or "buenas tardes" is considered impolite. Even passing someone eating warrants a "buen provecho."

"One day, I happened to pass a neighbor twice. The second time, I said 'Hola,' though I realized afterwards that I rarely hear Mexicans use that word. I asked my teacher what I should have said. The answer? 'Buenos días' or 'tardes' or 'noches,' no matter how many times I see the person within 24 hours!"Even digital communication reflects this emphasis on courtesy. "Even on WhatsApp, unlike in the U.S., where text messages can be haiku-like in their brevity, Mexicans tend to begin with a greeting," Rogers notes. "My Spanish teacher always starts her messages with 'buenos días' or a similar greeting. I've learned to follow suit, though I occasionally forget."

That neighbor encounter made Louisa realize her “Hola” was basically skipping the whole timing-and-respect rulebook.

By embedding these habits into daily routines, people can shift their perspectives, promoting a culture of respect and kindness that Louisa Rogers encountered in Mexico.

Louisa Rogers (right) with her Guanajuato city neighbors on their terrace:

Louisa Rogers

Then her teacher stepped in with the exact script, “buenos días,” “tardes,” or “noches,” even if she saw the same person again within 24 hours.

Expressions like "con permiso" are used to politely signal one's departure or to ask someone to make way. Rogers recalls learning this from her tutor, who explained its significance in everyday interactions.

Gratitude is also deeply ingrained. "Anyone can say 'muchas gracias,' but I started adding 'muy amable' (very kind) after hearing other foreign residents say it. The phrase adds an extra note of warmth and sounds less rote than just 'gracias.'

Indirect communication is another hallmark. To preserve harmony, Mexicans often avoid direct negatives. "Instead of saying 'no,' for example, they might say, 'I'll think about it,'" Rogers explains. "I've learned that if I speak bluntly in Mexico, it can be misinterpreted as rude and offensive."

Forms of address, such as using "usted" for elders, signify respect.

Rogers shares an anecdote: "One year, while my then 90-year-old father was visiting us in Guanajuato, I invited Rebeca, who was 75, over for a drink. Using the formal version of 'you,' Rebeca addressed my father as 'usted.' To me, they were both old, so what difference did it make?"

This is similar to the friend who didn’t tell her pal she was pregnant before announcing it.

Always say hello

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After that, Louisa caught herself repeating the habit everywhere, even on WhatsApp, where her messages suddenly started with greetings instead of straight-to-the-point notes.

Reflecting on her experiences, Rogers concludes, "In Mexico, I've learned that courtesy, far from being superficial, as I once thought, is a kind of social lubricant that smooths interactions. After many years of living in Guanajuato, I find that the unexpected ways Mexicans express respect and courtesy still surprise and delight me."

Her journey underscores how immersing oneself in a different culture can reshape perceptions and deepen appreciation for the nuances of human connection.

And once “con permiso,” “muy amable,” and those softer “I’ll think about it” replies entered her routine, her whole vibe shifted, like she finally understood the language behind the politeness.

Louisa Rogers and her husband Barry Evans divide their lives between Guanajuato and Eureka, on California’s North Coast. Louisa writes articles and essays about expat life, Mexico, travel, physical and psychological health, retirement, and spirituality. Her recent articles are on her website, https://authory.com/LouisaRogers.

In a world that often prioritizes speed over connection, the insights drawn from Louisa Rogers' experiences in Guanajuato highlight the profound impact of everyday courtesy on human interactions. Her observations reflect a crucial shift in perspective, where simple acts of kindness, such as a heartfelt 'thank you' or a genuine greeting, can significantly enhance relationships. This call for mindfulness in our daily exchanges serves as a reminder that these small gestures are not merely polite but are essential for fostering a compassionate community. Louisa's journey reveals that by integrating such practices into our lives, we not only enrich our own experiences but also contribute to a broader culture of understanding and respect, much like the warmth she encountered in Mexico.

Louisa might have thought she was learning Spanish, but she was really learning how to treat people.

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