Moment Lady Texts Her Uncle To Stop His Long Overdue Deceitful Habit Of Promising Kids Expensive Trips As Gifts But Never Fulfilling Them
"This has been an unspoken issue in my family for so many years"
A promise is an expression of intent to carry out an action or act in a particular manner. This means that you are committing to perform a certain action.
That pledge and commitment ought to be enforceable. People will respect you and expect you to keep your word if you are a trustworthy person.
They will have even greater faith in you if you eventually fulfill it. Similarly, people won't trust you as much going forward if you break that promise for any reason.
Even worse, you won't be taken seriously in the future if you breach the promises you make. Adults might have doubts about being let down by you, so they might anticipate it, but not kids.
Therefore, it's best not to promise kids something you know you won't do because you will only end up crushing their hopes. When the OP and her sisters were kids, their uncle would give them cards every year for their birthdays and Christmas.
Inside those cards would be a printed picture of some place, and he would tell them they were going there. However, they never went on any of those trips.
As an adult, the OP understood that her uncle did this because he didn't have the means to buy them gifts. That would have been fine, but the problem now is that he continued this behavior with the OP's daughter.
The OP wasn't going to tolerate it, and you can read the full story below.
The Headline
Reddit/newuser9461Every Year for Their Birthdays and Christmas, OP's Uncle Would Give Them Cards
Reddit/newuser9461The Effects of Unfulfilled Promises
Promises of gifts or experiences can create unrealistic expectations, especially in children, leading to feelings of disappointment and betrayal.
Research by Dr. Barbara Fiese at the University of Illinois indicates that such unmet expectations can severely impact trust within family relationships.
Children often internalize these experiences, which can influence their future relationship dynamics and ability to trust others.
He Promised Her Things Like a Giant Hotel Room with a Swimming Pool, Among Others
Reddit/newuser9461
This Has Been an Unspoken Issue in the OP's Family for So Many Years
Reddit/newuser9461
OP Has Offered the Following Explanation for Why They Think They Might Be the AH:
I think I might be the AH for telling my uncle to stop gifting my daughter extravagant trips and suggesting he take her out to lunch instead. That action might make me the AH because it can be interpreted as accusing him of only being able to afford lunch. I was told that my words were being interpreted that way by family members, which could make me the AH.Let's Head into the Comments Section and Find Out What Other Redditors Have to Say Regarding the Story
Reddit/newuser9461
A Lunch or Activity on That Day Would Be Lovely
Reddit/newuser9461
Studies show that consistent follow-through on promises is crucial for establishing a sense of reliability in relationships. According to Dr. William Doherty, family therapist, "When caregivers consistently fulfill their promises, they foster a secure environment that nurtures healthy emotional development in children." Children who experience reliability in their caregivers develop healthier attachment styles and interpersonal relationships. Conversely, as Dr. Michael Thompson, child psychologist notes, "Broken promises can create anxiety and lead to attachment issues, impacting a child's ability to form trusting relationships."
He's No Longer Allowed to Give Gifts
Reddit/newuser9461
It's Not a Life Lesson She Needs to Learn
Reddit/newuser9461
Building Trust Through Reliability
To foster trust, family members can engage in open discussions about expectations and commitments.
Dr. John Gottman’s research emphasizes the importance of emotional bids — small gestures of connection that can significantly enhance relational trust.
By practicing reliability and open communication, families can rebuild trust and mend relationships strained by past disappointments.
OP's Uncle is Being Cruel to Another Generation
Reddit/newuser9461
Calling Him Every Day to Know About the Trip
Reddit/newuser9461
You're essentially sending a message when you fail to keep a promise. A message that says you don't value the person enough to honor your word and that something else took precedence over that person.
You can imagine how the OP felt being given many failed promises, and she doesn't want that for her child. Redditors understood that, and the OP was declared not the AH.
He's Offended Because He Knows He is Lying
Reddit/newuser9461
Psychological Analysis
This situation highlights the important role of promises in family dynamics.
Understanding the emotional consequences of broken commitments can guide families toward more mindful interactions moving forward.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, addressing the emotional fallout from unfulfilled promises is crucial for healthy family dynamics.
Research supports that fostering reliability and open communication can restore trust and improve relational quality.
