Man Devices Genius Plan To Outsmart Greedy Relatives, Only For Wife To Spill The Beans Years Later
He lied to save his wallet, but now his secret’s out.
It started with one “Can I borrow a little?” and turned into a years-long pattern of being everyone’s personal ATM.
The man (OP) behind this story, a 50-year-old who’d always been smart with money, used to help out his friends and relatives whenever they hit a rough patch.
But after getting burned too many times (people ghosting him after borrowing or acting entitled because they knew he had savings), he finally decided enough was enough.
Back in his 20s, OP came up with a genius plan. He opened a new bank account and would regularly put in money to handle bills and groceries for that particular day. This meant that the balance was always low.
So, every time someone came asking for cash, he’d pull up that account and show them he was broke. They couldn’t argue with a screenshot that showed only a few dollars left.
What they didn’t know was that his real money was tucked away safely in his main account.
Over the years, he started telling people his funds went to “beer,” “str*p clubs,” or “c*sinos.” Ironically, the same folks who once begged for loans began scolding him for being irresponsible with money.
When OP was about to get zc married, he informed his wife about this trick, which she found hilarious at the time.
Recently, during Halloween, OP’s sister came over to visit and commented on how happy she was that he had finally learned how to be responsible with money.
At this point, OP’s wife, not thinking too much of anything, spilled the beans on how he had tricked them over the years.
Now, half the family calls him clever, and the other half says he’s a stingy a**hole.
Check out the full story below to see how the story unfolded.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comIn OP’s 20’s he was known to be generous. But the downside was that family and friends always took advantage of him
Reddit.comOP devised a plan to convince family and friends that he was broke each time they requested a loan
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Financial Boundaries
Financial planner Tiffany Aliche emphasizes the importance of establishing clear financial boundaries with family and friends. She suggests that one should define the terms of any financial assistance upfront, including limits on amounts and repayment timelines.
This approach not only protects one's financial health but also sets expectations for others. Aliche notes that having these discussions can prevent misunderstandings and resentment later on, ensuring that relationships don't suffer due to financial stress.
Seeking Professional Guidance
When family financial dynamics become overwhelming, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Financial therapists, like those trained in models from the Financial Therapy Association, provide strategies for navigating complex emotional and financial issues.
These professionals can help families develop healthier communication patterns around money, thereby reducing conflict and enhancing relationships. It's a proactive step that can lead to more sustainable financial practices within familial contexts.
OP later got married a few years later and informed his wife about this genius tactic that he had been using
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Recently, OP’s sister came over, and his wife spilled the beans about what he was doing back in the day. Now, the information has spread throughout the family
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We gathered some interesting comments from Redditors
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Dr. William Doherty, a family therapist, explains that relational dynamics often shift when money is involved. He points out that many individuals feel entitled to financial help from family, which can lead to tension.
Doherty argues that addressing these dynamics openly can foster healthier family interactions. He recommends family meetings to discuss financial expectations and responsibilities, thus creating a more collaborative approach to financial support.
OP’s wife probably shouldn’t have spilled the beans
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“Personally I would drop people that were always hitting me up for money.”
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“We pay a lot in your 20s to learn hard lesson.”
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Effective Communication
Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship expert, advises that clear communication is vital in maintaining healthy boundaries when lending money. She suggests discussing not just the terms but also the emotional aspects of financial transactions.
According to Solomon, expressing concerns and establishing transparency can help reduce feelings of entitlement and pressure. This approach fosters mutual respect and understanding, paving the way for better family relationships.
“You do need to have a talk with your wife about sabotaging you and throwing you under the bus.”
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“NTA! Your family deserved it.”
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“If doesn't matter how much you may or may not have, it is not their business to even ask.”
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Financial educator Michelle Singletary highlights the psychological impact of being viewed as a financial provider. She notes that this role can lead to fatigue and resentment, particularly if expectations are not managed well.
To mitigate these feelings, Singletary recommends prioritizing self-care and financial literacy. By understanding one's financial limits, individuals can make informed decisions about how much help they can comfortably provide without compromising their own well-being.
“NTA, but your wife is for revealing top secret info. And your sister is for running her mouth.”
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“Also, you married a woman you can't trust with a secret. NTA but you punished yourself.”
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Some say honesty’s the best policy, but when you’re dealing with people who see you as a walking wallet, maybe a little deception isn’t so bad.
His trick worked…he kept his money and his sanity, though it came at the cost of a few bruised egos.
Whether that makes him selfish or just smart depends on how you see family obligations.
What do you think? Was his plan fair or just petty? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
Expert Opinion
This situation highlights a common psychological reaction known as "learned helplessness." After repeatedly being taken advantage of, the man developed a coping mechanism to protect himself from further emotional and financial harm. His tactic reflects a protective response to a perceived lack of control in his relationships, showcasing how people often resort to deception when they feel their boundaries are being violated.Therapeutic Insights & Recovery
Navigating financial relationships with family can be challenging, but establishing clear boundaries and open communication is key. Experts like Tiffany Aliche and Dr. Alexandra Solomon emphasize the importance of discussing expectations upfront to avoid misunderstandings.
Additionally, seeking the guidance of financial therapists can further enhance these discussions, leading to healthier family dynamics. By fostering a culture of transparency and respect regarding money, families can not only protect their financial assets but also strengthen their emotional bonds.
