Parents Who Didn't Finish High School Accuse Child Of Faking College Acceptance, Demand To Read Application Essay
"The reason they’re so pressed about knowing what the essay said is that they’re afraid it’s about them."
In a certain post from the r/EntitledParents subreddit, we delve into a deeply unsettling family dynamic where entitled parents cast doubt on their child's college acceptance and relentlessly demand to see a private application essay.
The story begins with OP excitedly sharing their college acceptance news with their parents. However, the elation is short-lived as the father and stepmother, both lacking higher education credentials, question the legitimacy of the acceptance.
OP, refusing to share their application essay, cites the absence of a copy due to the application process, causing initial tension. The situation escalates when the stepmother becomes involved, interpreting the refusal as suspicious behavior.
The parents then accuse OP of never submitting an application and label them as weird for not disclosing the essay.
OP presents proof of submission, including transcripts, but this fails to satisfy the parents. The stepmother even claims to have spoken with an admissions counselor who allegedly confirmed the child's non-application status, though she fails to provide any details or names.
As OP eventually finds their acceptance letter, their excitement is met with skepticism from the parents, who nitpick the wording to deny the reality of the accomplishment. The parents' refusal to apologize or acknowledge the truth leaves the child feeling tormented and unsupported.
Just take a look at the original post and see what people had to say...
Accepted into college, OP's father and stepmother, who never finished high school and dropped out of college, deny their admission despite submitting all required materials.
RedditOP completed the application and told their parents, but when their dad wanted to see the essay, they couldn't provide a copy as it was pasted directly on the school's website. Their stepmother's reaction later genuinely offended them.
RedditOP's parents accused them of not submitting an application and called them weird for not sharing the essay. Showing a screenshot confirming submission didn't resolve the issue.
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Understanding Parental Anxiety
Parental anxiety, particularly among those with limited educational backgrounds, often stems from fear of inadequacy and the desire to protect their child from perceived failures. Research conducted by the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry indicates that parents who haven't completed high school may project their insecurities onto their children, leading to a cycle of anxiety and mistrust.
This behavior reveals a deep-seated concern that their child’s success could highlight their own perceived shortcomings, prompting them to question the validity of achievements that seem beyond their grasp.
Their stepmom accused them of lying about college applications, but when asked for proof, she couldn't provide any, leaving them unfairly ridiculed.
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OP found an acceptance letter in their email, but when they showed it to their dad and asked their stepmom for details, she claimed it wasn't a real acceptance, and their dad agreed because of the wording.
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Despite their accomplishment, OP received no congratulations, only persistent demands to see the essay from their parents, who refused to apologize for falsely accusing them.
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Attachment theory provides a useful lens for understanding this dynamic. According to Dr. William Doherty, family therapist, "Parents with anxious attachment styles often struggle to celebrate their child's achievements because they are grappling with their own fears of inadequacy." He explains that these fears can stem from a belief that their child's success may create emotional distance, which can exacerbate their anxieties about abandonment or rejection.
Their obsession with knowing the contents of the essay stems from their fear that it might be about them, revealing a guilty conscience.
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After they finally admit the acceptance, they dismiss the need for an apology.
Scroll down to see what people had to say!
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OP's parents' cluelessness doesn't need to be their concern.
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The Impact of Educational Attainment on Parenting
Studies show that educational attainment can significantly influence parenting styles and expectations. Those with higher levels of education often have more resources and strategies for fostering their children's independence and self-confidence.
In contrast, parents with lower educational backgrounds may feel less equipped to navigate their child's educational journey, leading to a protective but controlling stance.
Kudos, OP!
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Glad to see OP is getting the appreciation they deserve, though.
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This thread definitely turned more wholesome.
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To navigate these complex emotions, it’s crucial for parents to engage in open dialogue with their children. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology emphasizes that fostering an environment of trust and communication can help alleviate parental anxiety.
Encouraging children to share their experiences and feelings can help parents understand their child's perspective, allowing them to adjust their expectations and support more effectively.
OP's touched by the enthusiasm and appreciates it with heartfelt thanks.
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Love that for OP.
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OP's success is something to celebrate, regardless of its fate!
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Coping Mechanisms for Parents
Parents struggling with feelings of inadequacy might benefit from cognitive-behavioral strategies that focus on reframing negative thoughts. Techniques such as mindfulness can help parents become more aware of their anxieties and reduce their automatic responses to perceived threats to their child's success.
According to research published in Psychological Science, practicing mindfulness can significantly improve emotional regulation and lead to healthier interactions with their children.
If they're handing out apologies as a rare commodity, they might as well savor the irony in not letting it disrupt their peace of mind either.
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Well, if they want an invitation to the graduation, they might need a thicker envelope for their emotions too!
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They haven't earned the privilege to witness OP's milestones because they can't be trusted to be supportive.
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It would be essential to prevent college mail from reaching their family's home, even considering a PO box, and remember, grades remain private.
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Absolutely, a PO Box at school is like a secret mailbox fortress!
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OP should verify with their college counselor that they are the sole access holder to their information, given their stepmom's history of possible interference.
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Hopefully, OP's education remains steady amid their parental dynamics.
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Their behavior has certainly provided ample essay material.
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Low contact with neglectful parents can be self-care on a budget.
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We all do!
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OP's parents might need a modern college application tutorial...
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With FERPA, OP gets to control who accesses their college info.
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Indeed, packing legal documents is as crucial as packing clothes because OP's parents don't sound supportive.
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Going low contact might sting, but it's like emotional sunscreen for the long run.
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Absolutely! Avoiding their essay critique circus was a wise move; who needs a parade of potentially misguided comments?
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Fortunately, true support comes from those who actually show up.
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This post definitely highlights the devastating impact of entitled parents who not only undermine their child's achievements but also dismiss their emotional distress. OP's search for validation and understanding from their parents becomes a stark illustration of familial dysfunction and the need for healthy, respectful communication—good thing they found swarming support from strangers online!
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Psychological Analysis
This situation illustrates a common psychological struggle where parents’ unresolved fears about their own educational journeys manifest in their child-rearing approaches.
It’s essential for parents to recognize these patterns and seek educational resources or counseling if needed, which can ultimately benefit both their mental health and their child’s development.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
These insights align with established psychological theories that suggest increased self-awareness and open communication are vital for healthy family dynamics. As noted by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, clinical psychologist, "Addressing underlying fears and fostering open dialogue can significantly enhance family relationships, allowing for a more supportive environment." This approach ultimately leads to enhanced emotional resilience for both parents and children, as emphasized by Dr. Barry Schwartz, choice researcher, who states, "When families communicate effectively, they create a foundation for emotional growth and understanding."