Teenager's Family Badmouths Her Brazilian-Japanese Girlfriend In Another Language Not Knowing She Was Fluent In It

It may not seem like it, but Reddit is one of the best places to turn to when it comes to matters of the heart. Redditors will gladly point out if you've been acting like an ass to your partner, and they will also enumerate all of the reasons why you should leave your significant other.

This 18-year-old clearly had the same idea when she asked a Reddit community for guidance about her relationship. OP is Brazilian-Japanese, but because of her last name, her Japanese ancestry is not obvious.

She grew up with her maternal great-grandmother and grandmother, who are of Japanese descent. They spoke Japanese, and OP learned the language as she grew up.

She has been dating a girl named Lara for the past five months, who is also Brazilian-Japanese. Unlike OP, Lara's Japanese heritage is visible through her features and her ability to speak the native language.

Lara is aware of OP's Japanese lineage, but they never spoke about how in touch OP is with her Japanese roots. OP has made it a bi-weekly routine to have lunch at the house of Lara's parents.

During these lunches, Lara's parents would speak to each other in Japanese. They told Lara to make her bed, and the food set aside was for them, in Japanese.

They would also criticize OP in Japanese, not knowing she was perfectly fluent. Lara's parents would talk about OP's manner of dressing and even how much she ate; for her part, Lara scolded her parents in Japanese to stop talking badly about OP.

OP isn't offended by what they say; she is mostly amused that they think she can't understand them. She actually gives them credit for keeping about 97% of their conversation in Portuguese for her benefit.

Now it was time for OP's parents and Lara's parents to meet

OP's mom got a phone call from her mother in the middle of dinner. When she got back to the table, she told OP in Japanese that her grandmother sends her regards, to which OP replied, also in Japanese, that she would contact them later.

Lara's parents were surprised by the exchange but didn't make any comments. OP got a message from Lara requesting a video call after OP dropped off her parents at their hotel.

Lara told OP that she embarrassed her parents when she didn't disclose that she spoke Japanese. She said her parents spoke of family matters in Japanese, thinking OP couldn't understand them.

OP said something along the lines of, "Oh, like when they badmouthed me?" She told Lara it was her fault for assuming OP couldn't speak the language, despite knowing her family is of Japanese descent.

Lara doubled down and said OP could have mentioned it and avoided the awkwardness during their dinner. OP said she didn't speak Japanese on purpose, as she was simply responding to her mother's update.

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Is OP an a**hole for not informing her girlfriend she was fluent in Japanese? Read the full story below:

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Oh, by the way, that dinner was the first time Lara met OP's parents.

Ta2777271

How come Lara is defending her parents in this situation? Maybe she agreed with their criticisms of OP?

alalal982

They didn't even wait for her to get out of the room and went straight into dissecting her attire and eating habits.

Daphne-is-satan

Is speaking about a person in another language a common thing for bilingual folks?

-Butterfly-Queen-

For this redditor and her family, it is. Even when you don't say anything bad about another person, it just causes unnecessary anxiety, not to mention how rude it is.

DiscoAgent13

If there's a common language, then it's just good manners to speak in that language or at least translate for the new person.

MarionberryIll228

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I can understand you while you were talking smack about me!

Heavn4Me

They could have saved their opinion until OP was out of the house.

jsodano

It's wrong on so many levels to invite a person into your home and speak badly of them while they're sitting there eating your food, regardless of whether they understand you or not.

VeriumOntaris

They assumed it, and that's their fault.

heretic8921

Lara is ashamed of her family's rudeness, and instead of apologizing, she is now blaming OP for it. Well done.

Maleficent_Mistake50

Unfortunately for OP, her story isn't this cute.

Wearealreadyhere

There is no angle in this where Lara's family is absolved of their rudeness, and OP is wrong for not telling them she could speak Japanese. It's simply wrong to badmouth someone while they're sitting in front of you as a guest.

Lara is at fault here for backing her parents up and blaming OP for not telling them she could understand every insult and criticism they uttered. Best of luck to this couple; they should talk about this in every language they know just to make sure they aren't missing any more details.