Woman Protects Foster Sister From Overbearing GF During Family Vacation, Now Brother Says She’s “Hogging The Baby”

When this 26-year-old woman’s family decided to open their home to a foster child, she knew it would be an emotional adjustment for everyone. But she didn’t expect a full-on family drama to break out over it — especially not during what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation.

Six months ago, her parents started fostering a little girl named Ellie, a 7-year-old with some health issues. Ellie is tiny, about three and a half feet tall, weighing around 40 pounds, and understandably wary of new people after everything she’s been through.

The Redditor explained that her mom, a nurse, met Ellie at the hospital where she worked — and the bond formed quickly. When Ellie was brought home, her mom switched to part-time work, and the Redditor adjusted her own schedule to be home with Ellie when her mom couldn’t be.

It didn’t take long for Ellie to cling to her new big sister. Whenever she’s not feeling well, she becomes extra attached, needing comfort, cuddles, and a safe space — something the Redditor happily provides.

Last week, the family went on a long-awaited vacation. But unfortunately, Ellie wasn’t feeling her best — her tummy hurt for most of the trip, which meant the Redditor and Ellie spent the week curled up together with blankets and stuffed animals, watching Kpop Demon Hunters on repeat.

Enter Stacey — her brother’s girlfriend — who, according to the Redditor, is obsessed with kids. All week, Stacey kept trying to be part of Ellie’s world, asking if she could take her to the pool, the park, or the lake, offering to do her hair, or asking to join movie time.

The problem? Ellie didn’t want any of it.

The Redditor says she explained multiple times that Ellie only wanted to be around her or their mom when she wasn’t feeling good. But Stacey didn’t seem to get the hint and kept inserting herself anyway, desperate for some one-on-one time with the little girl.

By the end of the trip, Stacey was clearly frustrated. When the Redditor asked her what was wrong, Stacey fired back that it was “ridiculous” for her to “hog Ellie all week” — and that she wasn’t “the only person in the family.”

That’s when Mom stepped in. According to the Redditor, her mom didn’t mince words — she told Stacey she could either stop whining or find her own way home.

Apparently, that shut things down… temporarily.

But when they got home, Stacey started right back up again, accusing the Redditor of “hogging the baby.” This time, Mom put her foot down for good — she told Stacey she wasn’t allowed anywhere near Ellie anymore.

Now, though, the Redditor’s brother is upset. He thinks she should’ve just let Stacey hang out with Ellie and says his girlfriend “just wants to have a little sister.”

Still, the Redditor can’t shake her gut feeling — that protecting Ellie’s boundaries was the right thing to do. After all, the little girl is still recovering, still learning who to trust, and the last thing she needs is to be overwhelmed by someone who won’t respect her space.

But now she’s stuck wondering if she went too far by shutting Stacey out. Was she being overprotective, or just doing what was best for a scared little girl who needed consistency?

One thing’s for sure — this family vacation turned into a lesson in boundaries, patience, and what it really means to show love. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for a child isn’t to shower them with attention, but to give them the peace and safety they need to finally exhale.

Now she’s stuck wondering if she went too far by shutting Stacey out.

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by Reddit user 'Dense_Raccoon_928'.

6 months ago, my parents started fostering a little girl, Ellie (7) with some health issues. She’s tiny (maybe 3.5 feet and 40 pounds) and new people freak her out. She’s still adjusting to being part of a big family. I (26f) have 2 sisters and 2 brothers, one of my sisters is married, and both of my brothers have their gfs around.My mom was a nurse at the hospital that Ellie was taken to. Once we took her home, my mom went down to part time and I shifted my schedule to be home with her when my mom’s at work. When she’s not feeling good she gets clingy with me.We went on vacation last week and I don’t know why but her tummy was hurting her the entire time we were there so we spent most of the trip curled up on the couch with a bunch of blankets and stuffies, watching Kpop demon hunters over and over.My brothers girlfriend, Stacey, is obsessed with kids and babies and keeps trying to insert herself with Ellie. She asked Ellie if she wants to go to the pool, the park, the lake, if she wants her to do her hair, if she can watch kpop demon hunters with us, etc. all week. Ellie only wants me and my mom to go anywhere near her when she’s not feeling good and I told Stacey this all week.When we went home, I noticed Stacey was pretty upset. I asked what’s wrong and she told me it’s ridiculous that I was “hogging Ellie” all week and that I’m not the only person in her family.My mom got involved and told Stacey that she could either stop whining or she could find another way home. She was quiet for the rest of the way back, then we got home and Stacey started complaining again that I was “hogging the baby”.My mom and I agreed that Stacey will no longer be allowed anywhere near Ellie. Now my brother’s saying I should’ve just let her hang out with us and that she just wants to have a little sister.Now I’m wondering if I’m wrong for “hogging her” all week and not letting Stacey hang out with us.

Understanding Family Dynamics

Dr. Michael Thompson, a renowned child psychologist and author, emphasizes the importance of understanding family dynamics when fostering children. He states that children like Ellie often thrive in stable environments that provide consistent emotional support.

This stability can be particularly crucial during family vacations, where changes in routine can heighten anxiety. Dr. Thompson suggests that families should establish clear communication about roles and responsibilities before engaging in shared activities, ensuring that all members feel valued and understood.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/TapOk3502

"She feels safe with you and your mom."

Reddit u/Objective-Guess-7372

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman highlights how misunderstandings can arise in family dynamics, particularly when emotions run high. He notes that family members often project their insecurities onto one another, leading to conflict.

In this case, the brother’s feelings of jealousy towards the foster sister may indicate deeper issues of insecurity or fear of being replaced. Dr. Gottman advises that open dialogue and empathy are essential for resolving these feelings and fostering a supportive environment.

"Her wants and needs matter."

Reddit u/Ace_boy08

"Good job, big sis."

Reddit u/Pristine_Main_1224

"Ellie's a person, not a toy."

Reddit u/melancholic_muse

Effective Communication Strategies

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a parenting expert, underscores the importance of teaching children effective communication skills. She suggests that family members should model how to express their feelings in a constructive way, particularly when tensions arise.

By encouraging children to share their emotions, families can prevent misunderstandings. Dr. Bryson recommends using “I feel” statements, which help articulate feelings without placing blame. This approach not only empowers children but also strengthens family bonds during challenging times.

NTA.

Reddit u/LowBalance4404

"She can't force a kid to want to be around her."

Reddit u/mommobear5124

She's old enough to choose who she wants around her.

Reddit u/Kappybook916

Therapists often highlight the importance of emotional regulation, especially in high-stress situations like family vacations. Dr. Laura Berman, a sex therapist, explains that emotional outbursts can often stem from unprocessed feelings of fear or anxiety.

Teaching family members how to identify and express emotions safely can mitigate these responses. Techniques such as mindfulness and deep breathing exercises can be beneficial for both adults and children, promoting a calmer atmosphere and improving overall family interactions.

"She needs time."

Reddit u/EdgelessPennyweight

"You are so NTA."

Reddit u/ImaginationNo5381

"Stacey sounds weird."

Reddit u/laladitz

Building a Supportive Environment

Child development expert Dr. Dan Siegel emphasizes that creating a supportive environment is crucial for fostering emotional well-being in children. He suggests that families should prioritize quality time together, especially during vacations, to strengthen their bonds.

Engaging in activities that encourage teamwork and shared experiences can help foster a sense of unity. Dr. Siegel also recommends regular family meetings to address any concerns and celebrate achievements, creating a platform for open communication and support.

"What a weirdo."

Reddit u/almaperdida99

"Children choose who they are comfortable with."

Reddit u/Typical_Recording_99

"She is a child."

Reddit u/XtinaTheGreekFreak

In situations involving foster children, it's essential to approach conflicts with sensitivity and understanding. Experts recommend that families develop a set of guidelines for discussing feelings and boundaries, ensuring everyone's voice is heard.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, a child psychologist, suggests that families can benefit from establishing regular check-ins, where members can express concerns and emotions in a safe environment. This proactive approach not only aids in conflict resolution but also strengthens the family unit as a whole.

In the end, this story isn’t really about “hogging” at all — it’s about knowing when to step back and when to step up. Because sometimes, love looks like giving someone the quiet space they need to feel safe again.

Expert Opinion

The behavior in this scenario reflects a strong protective instinct, which is often driven by a deep-seated need to ensure safety and comfort for vulnerable individuals like Ellie. The Redditor's actions highlight the importance of boundaries, especially for children who have experienced trauma, as they often need stability and consistency to heal. Stacey's insistence on gaining attention from Ellie may stem from her desire for connection, but it disregards Ellie’s emotional needs, demonstrating how sometimes, good intentions can clash with the actual needs of a child.

Healing Approaches & Techniques

In conclusion, fostering a child within a family setting can be a complex journey filled with emotional challenges. Experts emphasize the importance of communication, understanding, and support as foundational elements in navigating these dynamics. By implementing strategies such as open dialogue, emotional regulation techniques, and supportive family structures, families can create a nurturing environment that benefits all members. Ultimately, fostering resilience and emotional intelligence will lead to healthier relationships and a more harmonious family life.