Redditor Tells Family Member He Can't Chat With His Friends When She's Around; He Calls Her A Hypocrite

"He'll drop his voice for a few seconds and then giggle like SpongeBob at full volume."

Of course, being too loud tends to annoy and disturb those around you. Not only that, but it can also give them the wrong impression of you.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

When you're not angry, seeking attention, or acting rudely, others might presume that you are simply because you're loud. However, speaking in a consistently loud voice is probably not helpful in your personal or professional life.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

For example, having a loud voice may be useful occasionally if you work as a crossing guard. However, if you habitually speak loudly, people will likely tell you to turn down the volume or use your indoor voice.

The OP in today's story has a family member who moved to a different state to live with his long-distance girlfriend. After they broke up, he became depressed and asked the OP if he could move in.

The agreement was that he would work for a few months there to build up savings before moving in. The OP mentioned the behaviors of this family member that they never really liked, but one thing upset the OP: his loud voice.

The OP can't tolerate this man laughing and hanging out with his friends, as he literally cackles so loudly. When asked to quiet down, he'll lower his voice for a few seconds and then return to full volume. 

So now the OP is asking...

So now the OP is asking...u/AITAHyenaCackle
[ADVERTISEMENT]

The OP's house has what used to be a porch that was converted into a full bedroom.

The OP's house has what used to be a porch that was converted into a full bedroom.u/AITAHyenaCackle
[ADVERTISEMENT]

He cannot shut the door to his room because the OP has a doggy door in his slider.

He cannot shut the door to his room because the OP has a doggy door in his slider.u/AITAHyenaCackle

Navigating Social Dynamics

This scenario reveals common tensions that arise within social settings, particularly when it comes to balancing personal friendships and family dynamics. Research in social psychology shows that individuals often face challenges when trying to manage differing expectations from various social groups.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that interpersonal conflicts often arise from perceived inequities in attention and engagement.

The OP voice chatted with friends the night before, but they were watching a movie together.

The OP voice chatted with friends the night before, but they were watching a movie together.u/AITAHyenaCackle

And the comments roll in...

And the comments roll in...Reddit

He was looking for the freedom to pretend.

He was looking for the freedom to pretend.Reddit

Understanding the motivations behind one's behavior can also provide insight into these dynamics. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability and empathy, individuals often act in ways that protect their own emotional needs, which can unintentionally hurt others.

In this case, the family member may not realize how their behavior affects the Redditor, highlighting the need for open communication.

He's not trying to get a better spot.

He's not trying to get a better spot.Reddit

He does not respect your rules and needs.

He does not respect your rules and needs.Reddit

Tell him he can move in with his sister.

Tell him he can move in with his sister.Reddit

Effective Communication Strategies

Using effective communication strategies can help clarify misunderstandings. Research suggests that employing reflective listening techniques can foster empathy and understanding in conversations.

This means truly hearing what the other person is saying before responding, which can help mitigate defensiveness and facilitate more productive discussions.

He is just leeching off of you.

He is just leeching off of you.Reddit

You'll need to find a new place to live if you don't get a job.

You'll need to find a new place to live if you don't get a job.Reddit

Control your volume.

Control your volume.Reddit

One practical solution is to establish clear boundaries around social interactions. Setting guidelines for when friends can visit or discussing how to navigate social gatherings can help create a more comfortable environment for everyone involved.

Additionally, having a candid conversation about each person's needs can help ensure that both sides feel respected and valued.

You're graciously allowing him to stay in.

You're graciously allowing him to stay in.Reddit

He has no intention of working.

He has no intention of working.Reddit

He knows you feel sorry for his situation.

He knows you feel sorry for his situation.Reddit

This Redditor feels the OP doesn't really believe it.

This Redditor feels the OP doesn't really believe it.Reddit

He is not trying to get any job.

He is not trying to get any job.Reddit

You should not be uncomfortable in your own home.

You should not be uncomfortable in your own home.Reddit

His behavior is affecting your mental health.

His behavior is affecting your mental health.Reddit

You are already helping him out a lot.

You are already helping him out a lot.Reddit

He's trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty.

He's trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty.Reddit

This rooming situation is clearly not working for you.

This rooming situation is clearly not working for you.Reddit

Your kindness and hospitality can't last forever.

Your kindness and hospitality can't last forever.Reddit

A case of him not respecting your boundaries.

A case of him not respecting your boundaries.Reddit

It's not the OP's job to keep the family member upbeat or prevent him from being depressed. It is his responsibility to manage that.

So if the OP kicks him out and he becomes depressed, it's his problem because he was abusing the OP's kindness. Share your thoughts about this story in the comments below and share this post as well.

Psychological Analysis

This situation exemplifies the complexities of managing social relationships within family dynamics. Often, individuals may not be aware of how their actions impact others, leading to misunderstandings.

Encouraging open and honest conversations can help clarify intentions and foster a more supportive social environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating social dynamics requires a thoughtful approach that balances personal relationships with familial obligations. Psychological insights emphasize the importance of understanding each party's perspective to reduce tension and foster cooperation.

By adopting effective communication strategies and setting clear boundaries, individuals can create healthier interactions that respect the needs of all parties involved.

More articles you might like