Grandma Gets Banned from Seeing Grandkids After Calling 9 Y.O. 'Too Fat' For Ice Cream

"All she said was, 'Well, was I wrong? You are fat.'"

Fat-shaming is an insidious form of emotional abuse that can leave deep scars, especially when it targets a child. The impact is magnified when the hurtful comments come from a family member—a person who is supposed to offer unconditional love and support.

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For a child, hearing that they are "too fat" or "unattractive" can shatter their self-esteem and warp their relationship with their own body. This particular Reddit post about a mother discovering her daughter had been fat-shamed by her grandmother highlights just how damaging these words can be.

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In this case, the nine-year-old girl was humiliated and made to feel less worthy because of her weight, an experience that could shape her self-image for years to come. The fact that these comments came from her grandmother, someone she adored, only adds to the emotional toll.

Family members are meant to be a source of comfort and acceptance, but when they become the source of pain, it creates a profound sense of betrayal. The little girl’s trust was broken, and the emotional damage inflicted by someone who should have been her protector is hard to undo.

It’s a harsh reminder that words, especially from those we love, can either build us up or break us down.

Just take a look at what happened here...

Growing up, OP faced harsh weight criticism from her mother (58F), which damaged her self-esteem.

Growing up, OP faced harsh weight criticism from her mother (58F), which damaged her self-esteem.Reddit
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Moving out improved her relationship with food and her bond with her mother.

Moving out improved her relationship with food and her bond with her mother.Reddit
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The Impact of Body Image on Relationships

The incident involving the grandmother's comment about her grandchild’s body weight sheds light on the intricate relationship between body image and familial dynamics. Dr. J. Kevin Thompson, a renowned psychologist specializing in body image issues, stresses that comments like these can have profound effects on a child’s self-esteem and mental health.

Research indicates that negative comments regarding weight can lead to long-term psychological issues, including body dissatisfaction and eating disorders. This situation exemplifies how seemingly innocent remarks can carry significant emotional weight, especially in formative years.

She has a sweet daughter, Mia, who adores her grandma. Mia and her brother, Liam, stayed with her parents recently.

She has a sweet daughter, Mia, who adores her grandma. Mia and her brother, Liam, stayed with her parents recently.Reddit

On the drive home, Mia was unusually quiet and, tearfully, shared what had upset her.

On the drive home, Mia was unusually quiet and, tearfully, shared what had upset her.Reddit

According to Dr. Susan David, a renowned emotional agility expert, "Criticism about body image can deeply affect a child's self-esteem and lead to long-term emotional struggles." This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Lawrence Cohen, a child psychologist who emphasizes the importance of fostering a supportive environment: "When families engage in positive body image conversations, they help children feel valued for who they are, not just how they look." Addressing harmful comments within families is essential for mitigating the impact of negative remarks and promoting healthy self-worth among children. For more insights, visit Dr. Susan David's website and Dr. Lawrence Cohen's site.

Mia was upset after Grandma changed her ice cream order and criticized her weight, unlike Liam's.

Mia was upset after Grandma changed her ice cream order and criticized her weight, unlike Liam's.Reddit

She told her mom her comment was unacceptable, insisting on chaperoning visits; her mom dismissed it.

She told her mom her comment was unacceptable, insisting on chaperoning visits; her mom dismissed it.Reddit

Understanding Generational Perspectives on Body Image

Generational differences in perspectives on body image can contribute to misunderstandings within families. Dr. Naomi Wolf’s research highlights how societal standards of beauty have evolved, and older generations may not fully grasp the implications of their comments on younger family members.

It's essential to recognize that while the grandmother may not have intended harm, her words reflect outdated beliefs about body image that can disproportionately affect children today.

She suggested Mia’s issue was from dance class and accused her of "projecting," so she checked with Mia.

She suggested Mia’s issue was from dance class and accused her of Reddit

She told Mia to report any future incidents, and Mia revealed past comments and secrecy.

She told Mia to report any future incidents, and Mia revealed past comments and secrecy.Reddit

To facilitate healthier conversations around body image in families, it is important to model positive language and promote body diversity. Research suggests that creating an inclusive environment helps children develop a more balanced view of their bodies, reducing the likelihood of future issues related to self-esteem.

Families can engage in activities that celebrate body positivity and encourage open discussions about feelings related to appearance, fostering a culture of acceptance and support.

She informed her mother of Mia's comments, and her mother responded, "Was I wrong? She's fat."

She informed her mother of Mia's comments, and her mother responded, Reddit

She ended the call, ignored follow-ups, and hasn’t responded since. Her brother thinks it’s an overreaction.

She ended the call, ignored follow-ups, and hasn’t responded since. Her brother thinks it’s an overreaction.Reddit

Promoting Healthy Self-Esteem in Children

Developing healthy self-esteem in children is paramount for their overall mental health and well-being. Clinical psychologist Dr. Barbara Greenberg emphasizes that fostering an environment where children feel loved and accepted for who they are can significantly impact their self-image.

Engaging children in positive reinforcement, focusing on their unique talents and qualities, helps build resilience against negative comments from others, including family members.

She said she might reconsider allowing visits if her mother apologizes and agrees to chaperoned visits.

She said she might reconsider allowing visits if her mother apologizes and agrees to chaperoned visits.Reddit

She believes her mother's comments would be unacceptable regardless of weight, as Mia is healthy and active.

Scroll down to see what people had to say...

She believes her mother's comments would be unacceptable regardless of weight, as Mia is healthy and active.Reddit

Sticks and stones might break bones, but grandma’s words can break hearts. Fat-shaming a child doesn’t just hurt feelings; it fractures trust and leaves a lasting impact.

Maybe it's time to teach grandma that love and acceptance are the real family values worth passing down.

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

NTA. The mother’s comments are emotional abuse. Hiding it shows she knows how wrong it is.

NTA. The mother’s comments are emotional abuse. Hiding it shows she knows how wrong it is.Reddit

It’s time to teach Mia to always tell mom if an adult says “Don’t tell.”

It’s time to teach Mia to always tell mom if an adult says “Don’t tell.”Reddit

NTA. She shouldn’t let that toxic woman near her kids. Her brother’s advice is misplaced.

NTA. She shouldn’t let that toxic woman near her kids. Her brother’s advice is misplaced.Reddit

As someone who faced years of treatment due to similar comments, silence is the best response.

As someone who faced years of treatment due to similar comments, silence is the best response.Reddit

NTA. Her mother’s actions were monstrous. She should go NC/LC and tell her brother to wise up.

NTA. Her mother’s actions were monstrous. She should go NC/LC and tell her brother to wise up.Reddit

OP’s mother won’t change; she’s using classic divide-and-conquer tactics. Textbook narcissist. NTA.

OP’s mother won’t change; she’s using classic divide-and-conquer tactics. Textbook narcissist. NTA.Reddit

NTA. Her mother is toxic. No adult should have kids keep secrets. She’s right to protect them.

NTA. Her mother is toxic. No adult should have kids keep secrets. She’s right to protect them.Reddit

NTA. She should protect her child from such vile comments. If NC is necessary, then do it.

NTA. She should protect her child from such vile comments. If NC is necessary, then do it.Reddit

NTA. As Reddit says, “Eating disorders aren’t genetic, but they are inherited.” Keep her daughter safe.

NTA. As Reddit says, “Eating disorders aren’t genetic, but they are inherited.” Keep her daughter safe.Reddit

Psychological Analysis

This situation is a clear example of how comments about body image can reverberate through family relationships, often with unforeseen consequences. The grandmother's remark, while possibly intended as a joke, reflects a broader societal issue regarding body positivity and acceptance.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial for promoting a healthier environment for children, where they can thrive emotionally and psychologically.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating body image discussions within families requires sensitivity and awareness of the lasting impact of words. Promoting open conversations and modeling positive body image can help mitigate the harmful effects of negative comments.

Ultimately, fostering an environment of acceptance and love is key to nurturing a child's self-esteem and emotional health, as highlighted by contemporary psychological research.

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