Father Finally Finds Peace After Deciding Not To Walk His Estranged "Daughter" Down The Aisle
She said he should stop parenting her after learning he wasn't her biological father
One father thought he had already buried the hardest part of his family story, until his estranged daughter called with a wedding request that reopened everything.
He and his 26-year-old daughter have not spoken in years, and the distance between them started when a painful family secret came out. After learning she was not his biological child, he still tried to stay in her life, but the relationship slowly fell apart and ended in a bitter argument when she moved out of his house.
Now she wants him to walk her down the aisle, and he is not sure he owes her that moment. Read on.
This turn of events left him with a broken heart.
He drank heavily just to cope with the pain for years; if not for his son, he wouldn't have survived. He tried to reconnect with his daughter years later, but she wanted nothing to do with him.
Accepting her choice gave him some semblance of peace, while his son refused to talk to his sister because he was so angry with her. Despite the rift, his son and his ex's daughter still chat sometimes.
Through his son, he learned that the daughter's biological father passed away and that she was also apparently engaged. Suddenly, she made contact with him.
She said she knows they haven't talked in a while, but she was wondering if he would be willing to walk her down the aisle. He replied with a relatively long message detailing how she had hurt him in the past; he said no.
He stated that the moment she told him she didn't want him as a father, he had to learn not to consider her as a daughter. Then, they started arguing because she claimed it was not her fault she wanted to meet her real father.
He agreed that it wasn't her fault, but how she treated him afterward was her burden to carry. He knows deep down that if her biological father hadn't died, they wouldn't even be talking.
He wished her a happy wedding but reiterated that he wanted no part of it or her life. She is telling this story to the rest of the family to make him look bad.
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His brothers think he was wrong because this could be an opportunity for them to mend their relationship, but he said he's not interested. Read the full post below for more information:
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"I was depressed for a very long time."
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"But I have no interest in that."
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The verdict is he is not the a**hole
ClothDiaperAddicts
When asked why his son can't walk his sister down the aisle, here's what he had to say
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It would make more sense if her mom were the one to walk her down the aisle
RamenNoodles620
Wedding day fallout with family betrayal and a lost inheritance, the AITA dad who refused to attend his brother’s wedding.
Her choices as an adult are hers alone, but so are the consequences
NotARobotHonest
She only wants him to be there for optics
NotARobotHonest
He respected her wishes before, but she can't respect his decision now?
Grumar
This is a likely scenario; she could be trying to save face.
CJSinTX
If he attends the wedding, would she even maintain a relationship after she got what she needed from him?
AuntJ2583
Based on her previous actions, he is not far off with this gut feeling.
RaymondBeaumont
She considers him a backup dad, maybe.
Misenica
After a while, he wrote an update after receiving judgment and advice from Reddit.
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You can read the full update below:
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They were proud that he was able to communicate his feelings to his brother and for the way he ended the relationship with his ex's daughter.
HoldMyDonut
He is also glad about the recent positive developments.
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It's really all we wish for him.
Anonymotron42
Fortunately, he seems to be working toward that peace himself.
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Families do not come as advertised; they are complex and full of complicated individuals. The idea that love should be unconditional is optimistic, but realistically speaking, love does have conditions.
You can't force a relationship with someone, real daughter or not, if they are unreceptive. He had to learn this the hard way, but he worked for it and finally found peace.
We do not know everything that transpired in their relationship, but we have to respect his choice to cut ties with his ex's daughter. Like him, we wish her a long and happy marriage without his participation.
Heartbreak over a daughter he refused to walk, then read why he’s considering skipping his brother’s wedding after inheritance lies, AITA for skipping his wedding?.