Feeling Like a Third Wheel in My Own Marriage: A Husband's Dilemma
AITA for feeling like a third wheel in my own marriage? OP discusses feeling neglected by his wife's dependence on her mom while living with her parents.
Are you ever left wondering if you're the odd one out in your relationship? Picture this: you've been married for years, thinking everything is smooth sailing, until suddenly, you start feeling like a guest in your own home.
This is the case for one Reddit user, a 38-year-old man, who has been contemplating whether he's the antagonist for feeling like a third wheel in his marriage. Living temporarily with his in-laws due to financial strains, things took an unexpected turn.
His wife seems to have regressed into a dependent dynamic with her parents, leaving him feeling neglected. Late-night chats with her mom and shared intimate moments lost in the past—it's all adding up to make him feel like an outsider in his marriage.
The Reddit community quickly rallied around him, showing support and offering advice. Suggestions ranged from open communication and setting boundaries to seeking professional help through counseling.
The consensus? His feelings are valid, and both partners must prioritize and work on the relationship.
The thread sparked a conversation about the importance of addressing concerns in a marriage before they escalate.
Original Post
So I'm (38M) and have been married to my wife (35F) for about five years now. We've always had a great relationship, or so I thought.Recently, I've been feeling like I'm more of a guest in my own home than a husband. For background, my wife and I have been living with her parents temporarily for the past year due to some financial difficulties.While we are staying here, my wife seems to revert to her teenage self. Her mom still cooks all our meals, does our laundry, and constantly dotes on her.I appreciate the help, but it's starting to feel like my wife is more dependent on her mom than she is on me. I've noticed that I end up sleeping alone most nights because my wife stays up late chatting with her mom in their room.Whenever I bring up the issue, my wife reassures me that it's temporary and that we'll have our own place soon. But it's been over a year, and there's been no progress on that front.I feel like I'm just a visitor in their mother-daughter dynamic, and it's making me resentful. I miss the intimacy we used to have when it was just us.I've tried talking to my wife about it, but she gets defensive and says I'm overreacting. So AITA for feeling like a third wheel in my own marriage?I just want to feel like a priority again.Feeling Neglected in Relationships
Feeling like a third wheel in your own marriage can be an unsettling experience. Research indicates that emotional neglect can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment, especially if one partner relies heavily on external sources for emotional support (Snyder & Stukas, 1999).
Comment from u/jellybeanlover97

Comment from u/popcorn_enthusiast22

It’s essential to communicate your feelings to your partner. Open discussions can foster a sense of security and understanding, which can help address feelings of neglect.
Comment from u/hikingadventurer456
Comment from u/sunsetdreamer
Dependency and Marital Satisfaction
When one partner relies on family for support, it can create an imbalance in the relationship. Studies show that dependency can lead to dissatisfaction if not managed properly (Hawkins et al., 2007). It's crucial for couples to establish a healthy balance between family involvement and marital intimacy.
Comment from u/pizza_lover_123
Comment from u/cloudwatcher88
Exploring the roots of these feelings can also be beneficial. Reflecting on how your relationship dynamics have shifted may provide insights into why you feel sidelined and how to address it constructively.
Comment from u/beachbum_gal
Comment from u/guitarlover99
What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!
Comment from u/cupcakesandrainbows
Comment from u/coffeecupcollector
Psychological Analysis
It sounds like this husband is experiencing a classic case of emotional neglect, which can happen when one partner leans too heavily on external relationships for support. This shift often leads to feelings of isolation and resentment, especially if the intimacy that once defined the marriage starts to fade. Open dialogue about these feelings is crucial; if both partners can recognize and address the imbalance, they can begin to rebuild their connection.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, addressing feelings of neglect requires honest communication and a commitment to nurturing the relationship outside of external influences.