49-Year-Old Mom Admits Attraction to Daughter's Boyfriend; Husband Is Furious

A 49-year-old woman saw trouble on the horizon when she met her daughter's 24-year-old boyfriend for the first time. OP's daughters, Alice and Andrew, have been dating for four months.

They met at a university where they were both graduate students. OP's family took an immediate liking to the handsome and intelligent Andrew.

He even helped OP's youngest son with his coding homework. OP's husband, Tom, who typically kept their children's partners at arm's length, was charmed by Andrew.

OP saw the sparks flying between Alice and Andrew. The looks they exchanged were enough to prove how enamored they were with each other.

The only problem was that OP liked Andrew a little too much. She was mortified when she realized she had feelings for her daughter's boyfriend.

OP feared Alice's reaction if she were to find out about her feelings. OP said she loved her husband, but her feelings for Andrew caught her off guard.

Her fears came true when Andrew stopped by to join them for dinner and movie night. He had been present at some of these movie nights, where OP found it difficult to be around him.

OP felt she couldn't control her thoughts when Andrew was around, and she also hated seeing Andrew and Alice together. During this movie night, Andrew noticed how OP behaved around him.

Andrew caught OP staring at him; his face turned red, and he avoided OP for the rest of the night.

lisa8778

OP was afraid that Andrew would say something to Alice. She decided to get ahead of the issue and be honest with her husband.

lisa8778

Family Dynamics and Attraction

This situation touches on complex family dynamics, particularly regarding boundaries and inappropriate attraction.

Research indicates that attraction within family networks can lead to significant conflict and discomfort, especially when societal norms are violated.

Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate their feelings and relationships more effectively.

Tom found OP's crush on Andrew to be creepy. He decided to sleep in the guest bedroom that night and has since avoided speaking to her.

lisa8778

OP acknowledged that her feelings were inappropriate. She wouldn't have said anything to Tom if she didn't think Andrew would say something to Alice.

lisa8778

Psychological studies highlight the impact of familial relationships on personal identity and romantic attachments.

When boundaries are crossed, it can lead to emotional turmoil and strain family relationships, often resulting in feelings of shame or guilt.

Addressing these feelings directly is crucial for maintaining family harmony.

How should OP handle the unavoidable mess she created?

lisa8778

OP is supposed to be the mature adult here. Why did she need other people's input when she has enough self-awareness to admit that her feelings are inappropriate?

Polyfuckery

Navigating Complex Emotions

In situations involving complicated emotional attachments, open dialogue is essential.

Experts recommend discussing feelings of attraction to ensure that all parties feel heard and understood.

Utilizing non-judgmental language can help foster a supportive environment for these conversations.

If OP can't let her feelings for Andrew go, she might as well say goodbye to her family because there is no bouncing back from letting the situation go further.

GrenadineBombardier

OP needs help. She also needs to make an effort to earn her husband's trust back.

rubyreadit

Seeking family therapy can also be a beneficial option for addressing underlying issues and improving communication.

Research indicates that therapeutic interventions can help family members navigate complex emotions and restore healthy relationships.

By engaging in therapy, families can develop tools to manage their dynamics more effectively.

OP needs to leave the house whenever Andrew is around if she can't restrain her emotions.

Wheredounicornsgo

In OP's update, she shared that Andrew did tell Alice about his observations. OP's behavior made him uncomfortable, and he doesn't want to be around her anymore. Her husband isn't as upset anymore. OP said she would make amends.

lisa8778

Posts in the r/AmItheButtface subreddit are stories that aren't messy enough to get approved on the Am I the A**hole subreddit. The sub also allows fictional scenarios from their OPs as long as they are categorized properly.

If this OP's story played out in real life, the OP would be at fault. Her fictional husband was right; it was creepy for her to have a crush on their daughter's 24-year-old boyfriend.

Before the discussion got too intense, OP made it clear that her post was fictional.

lisa8778

She said she was probably inspired by the song "Stacy's Mom," which she listened to hours before writing her post.

LadyWizard, lisa8778

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the difficulties that arise when attraction complicates family relationships.

It's crucial for family members to address these feelings respectfully to foster understanding and maintain healthy dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

This incident emphasizes the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries within family relationships.

By fostering open communication and seeking professional guidance when necessary, families can navigate complex emotional landscapes more effectively.