Selfish Guy Throws Massive Fit When His Fiancée Refuses To Give Up Her Inheritance To Fund IVF Of His Sis-In-Law

"Calling money gained by the death of a loved one 'easy money' is pretty incredible."

The last thing a person who has lost a loved one needs is to argue about money, but that was exactly what a 32-year-old's fiancée put her through after her mother's death. OP was devastated when she lost the only parent she ever knew.

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Her fiancé was initially supportive of whatever OP planned to do with her inheritance. He reassured her that she deserved the windfall and could do what she wanted with the money.

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His tune changed abruptly after he told his entire family about OP's small fortune. His brother and sister-in-law, who had fertility problems, pulled him aside for a conversation.

Whatever was said in that conversation made OP's fiancé change his attitude about her inheritance. He started to talk about wanting and needing a nephew or niece.

He not-so-subtly hinted at his sibling's and his wife's fertility problems. When that didn't work, he outright asked OP to pay for their IVF procedure with the money her late mother left.

OP was taken aback by the sudden request but declined. Her fiancé got upset and accused her of being selfish, saying they were blessed not to have fertility struggles.

More crudely, he told OP she had nothing to lose if she gave them money—easy money—that she did not work for. Her fiancé's reasoning pushed OP to the brink.

OP was furious, and her emotions got the better of her. She told her fiancé to stop bothering and guilting her about her inheritance.

OP was furious, and her emotions got the better of her. She told her fiancé to stop bothering and guilting her about her inheritance.Throwawayrquest11
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She declined his request outright, which upset her fiancé even more.

She declined his request outright, which upset her fiancé even more.Throwawayrquest11
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The Psychological Effects of Financial Stress

Dr. Eric Johnson, a financial psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, notes that financial stress can create significant emotional strain in relationships.

His research indicates that money-related conflicts often stem from differing values and expectations, leading to misunderstandings.

In this case, the Redditor’s fiancée's reaction reflects a common struggle when financial resources become intertwined with personal expectations.

He badmouthed OP for not treating him like her future spouse, who then had the "right" to what happened to her inheritance. He also accused OP of not caring about his family issues. Should OP give up her inheritance for her future in-laws' IVF procedure?

He badmouthed OP for not treating him like her future spouse, who then had the Throwawayrquest11

Redditors praised OP for standing up for herself. They advised her to rethink her decision to spend the rest of her life with this exploitative and manipulative man.

Redditors praised OP for standing up for herself. They advised her to rethink her decision to spend the rest of her life with this exploitative and manipulative man.birdbite1319

Research published in the Journal of Economic Psychology emphasizes that financial disputes can trigger feelings of inadequacy and resentment.

When individuals feel pressured to give up resources for others, it can create a conflict that undermines relationship stability.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial for managing expectations around financial contributions.

The way her fiancé framed OP's inheritance as free money she did not have to work for left a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

The way her fiancé framed OP's inheritance as free money she did not have to work for left a bad taste in everyone's mouth.LadyLightTravel

He was also wrong to insist that spouses shared their inheritance by law. It was pure manipulation on his part.

He was also wrong to insist that spouses shared their inheritance by law. It was pure manipulation on his part.ObjectiveSense102

The Role of Communication in Financial Conflicts

According to Dr. Amy Lee, a financial therapist at NYU, open communication about finances is vital for maintaining healthy relationships.

Her research shows that discussing financial expectations early can prevent misunderstandings and foster stronger partnerships.

In this situation, the Redditor’s reluctance to use her inheritance reflects a need for clear communication regarding financial obligations.

OP should take this as an opportunity to reevaluate her life.

OP should take this as an opportunity to reevaluate her life.SagaciousSagi

Plus, her fiancé wants OP to gift her inheritance to his brother and sister-in-law. It's not a loan. Even if it were, she would never get her mother's final gift back.

Plus, her fiancé wants OP to gift her inheritance to his brother and sister-in-law. It's not a loan. Even if it were, she would never get her mother's final gift back.LissaBryan

Behavioral studies suggest that couples who engage in joint financial planning tend to experience less conflict.

According to research from the American Psychological Association, collaborative budgeting can enhance trust and reduce anxiety around financial decisions.

In this case, developing a shared understanding of financial goals could help alleviate tension between the Redditor and her fiancé.

He completely disregarded the complex feelings OP definitely has about the money her only parent left behind.

He completely disregarded the complex feelings OP definitely has about the money her only parent left behind.HonestCrab7

The amount is irrelevant when it comes to this. That money is sentimental and tangled in a mess of feelings for the person who lost their loved one. To make a demand this crude so soon after the loved one's passing is disgusting.

The amount is irrelevant when it comes to this. That money is sentimental and tangled in a mess of feelings for the person who lost their loved one. To make a demand this crude so soon after the loved one's passing is disgusting.Fragrant_Jelly9198

Unfortunately, OP didn't reply to any comments, nor did she share any updates in her profile. We can only hope that the pieces of advice given to her by thoughtful Redditors were enough to make her rethink if she wanted to be with a person like her fiancé.

Plenty of sympathetic commenters who experienced a loss as devastating as OP's said that an inheritance felt like a loved one's final gift or help. OP's mom left her more than just money—she gave OP a chance to leave a person who would only take from her.

Anyone who received anything from a cherished relative who passed would give up their inheritance in a heartbeat if it meant getting that person back.

Anyone who received anything from a cherished relative who passed would give up their inheritance in a heartbeat if it meant getting that person back.ChaiHai

OP needs to read this over and over again until she processes every single wrong thing her fiancé has done so far regarding her inheritance.

OP needs to read this over and over again until she processes every single wrong thing her fiancé has done so far regarding her inheritance.Icy-Sun1216

Strategies for Navigating Financial Expectations

When faced with financial pressure, it's beneficial to establish clear boundaries regarding personal resources.

Dr. Sarah Chen recommends discussing financial values openly with partners to align expectations.

This approach can help couples navigate financial conflicts and reinforce mutual respect.

As one commenter correctly pointed out, if they are having trouble funding their IVF, how would they support their child?

As one commenter correctly pointed out, if they are having trouble funding their IVF, how would they support their child?Ducky818

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the complexities of navigating financial expectations in relationships. It’s essential to establish clear communication and boundaries regarding money to prevent misunderstandings. Prioritizing personal values can help create a more harmonious partnership while managing financial stress.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating financial expectations in relationships requires effective communication and boundary-setting.

Research consistently highlights the importance of understanding personal values and aligning financial goals with partners.

Ultimately, fostering open dialogue around finances can lead to healthier relationships and reduced conflict.

Engaging in self-reflection can also enhance one’s ability to manage financial stress.

Research suggests that understanding personal values around money can lead to better financial decision-making.

In this case, reflecting on her values regarding inheritance may help the Redditor articulate her feelings more clearly.

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