Man Is Diagnosed With a Terminal Illness, His Family Immediately Starts Fighting Over His Estate

Reddit user u/aitainher never imagined he’d be thinking about his legacy at 40, but life had other plans. Years ago, he and his wife made a clear-eyed decision to keep their finances separate, mostly because kids were never part of the picture.

They planned things thoughtfully. He’d leave her a significant portion, while the rest would go to family and causes they both believed in.

A few years back, everything changed when he was diagnosed with an aggressive blood cancer. At the time, his siblings were expecting children and his mother was recovering from a stroke, so he quietly fought the illness without telling anyone else.

The treatment worked, or so it seemed. He went back to life, business as usual, and almost forgot the nightmare had ever happened.

Then the symptoms returned. Doctors told him he had two to five years left, and he decided he didn’t want to spend them chasing more treatment.

When he finally told his family, the news hit hard. Emotions were raw, especially for his father, and conversations quickly turned serious.

Years earlier, all three siblings had received the same financial head start. He invested his wisely and built a booming construction business, rental properties, and a comfortable life.

His plan was simple: take care of his wife, set up his young nieces and nephews for the future, and donate the rest to charities close to his heart. One sibling, however, felt excluded and upset.

Now, with time feeling painfully limited, the Redditor is left wondering whether sticking to his carefully thought-out plan makes him selfish—or simply honest.

Doctors told the Redditor he had two to five years left, and he decided he didn’t want to spend them chasing more treatment.

AI-generated image

Here’s the original post by Reddit user ‘aitainher’.

Edited to add: My wife and I decided early on to have separate finances(as we never planned on having children), and my wife is incredibly well off in her own right(like owning a small plane levels of well off). Where we live, typically everything you own goes to your partner/children, but my wife and I decided that while I would leave her about 1/3 of my total wealth, she didn't need anything else and she would prefer that I set up my nephews and nieces and support the groups we believe in. In addition, as an only child, she has been told that she will be the sole inheritor of her parents’ estate and owns multiple successful small businesses. If this wasn't the case, then I absolutely would have left her everything I own. -- About four years ago, I was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer, not going to get into specifics, but I decided(being 36 at the time and full of youthful energy haha), to follow a very aggressive surgery/chemo pattern. It appeared to work, and I have been going on about my life the last three years as though it never happened. Important to note that when I was diagnosed, both my siblings had announced pregnancies recently, and my mother was in hospital after a stroke, so rather than dump my news on everyone, it was kept between my wife and me. Then, by the time that it seemed fair to break the news to them, I was improving, and there seemed no reason to distress them. About seven months ago, I started to get the same symptoms I'd had last time, and I went in to get checked out. Basically, I have several aggressive tumours, and I’ve been given two to five years to live depending on what kind of treatment I want to follow. I've decided that I don’t want to pursue treatment and instead I just want to spend as much of my time with my wife, who has suffered terribly through this whole ordeal. Because I now have a time limit on my life, I broke the news to my family about three months ago. They were all understandably upset, particularly my father, who I have always been particularly close to. Now, when I was 20, I was gifted(as were both my siblings) $45,000 to do with whatever I wanted. I used the money to invest in property and my business as a builder(I had just finished an apprenticeship and struck out on my own). I now own more than 20 properties(most of which are rented for income) and a business that employs 27 people(including my wife, who has a master’s in business and runs admin). As well as a considerable amount of wealth in investments/vintage cars. I had decided that after I die, the business, three rental homes, our beach house, and the home we live in, along with several investments, will be left to my wife. I have been married for 19 years, and I feel like it’s the least I can do for the support she has given me over the years. I will be leaving each of my nephews and nieces (all under 7) $20k in an investment account that they can access when they are 20. The rest will be put into a trust fund that will issue out a set amount every year to various groups I like to support, including one that teaches underprivileged kids the skills to become tradesmen and also to the hospital that has treated me over the last few years(we aren’t in the US, by the way). I was telling one of my siblings this recently, and she got upset that, as she put it, "everyone is getting something except me and our brother". I tried to explain that both my siblings are well off in their own rights, and our parents are very comfortably retired, so I don't believe they need additional support. Since then, she and our other sibling have been upset with me. We are still talking, but they are curt and cold. AITA?

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

Dietcokeisgod

Seriously?

intently_unaware

You don’t owe them anything.

u_212

Your money, your choice.

to the cactus

NTA.

Billy_of_the_hills

It’s your money, not theirs.

PotatoPuppetShow

That’s what they’re thinking about?

Eevee027

Lesson learned.

museisnotyours

Your already being generous.

callieboo112

This is insane.

pininen

You made the right decision.

Rudy2237

Don’t leave.

R-Bigsmoke

She’s acting like a child.

Kaismama

In the end, the Redditor isn’t questioning his love for his family—he’s questioning whether fairness always looks the way people expect it to. With his time now measured differently, he’s choosing to focus on the people and causes that have shaped his life, even if not everyone agrees with those choices.