40 People Forgave The “Unforgivable” In Love, And What Happened Next Is Honestly Wild

There is a very specific kind of quiet that happens right after someone hurts you. Not the dramatic movie breakup, but that heavy pause where your brain starts sprinting through every possible future: stay, leave, pretend, forgive, explode.

Most of the time, people online talk about the moment they finally snapped. The breakup text. The suitcase at the door. The “never again.” But tucked under those loud endings is another story that does not trend as easily: the moment you decide to stay. Or at least try.

One viral question asked people to share the hardest thing they ever forgave a partner for, and how the relationship turned out after that. The answers were not cute. We are talking affairs, emotional manipulation, secret debts, violent outbursts, addiction, and the kind of lies that make you feel like your whole life was misremembered.

Some of these relationships survived and actually flourished. Others crumbled, slowly or spectacularly. A few turned into warnings that read like red-flag textbooks. Together, they paint a picture that is a lot more honest than “true love conquers all” and “once a cheater, always a cheater.”

It turns out forgiveness is not a tidy moral lesson. It is a gamble, a boundary test, and sometimes the beginning of the end.

1. "He pinned me against a wall..."

2. "Had an emotional affair..."

3. I caught him talking to a college friend online about our s*x life in disturbing detail.

I continued to catch him emotionally and online cheating on and off for the next 7 years (he never had the guts to do it in person, as far as I ever found out.) It was always little stuff. He always had his reasons. I was 18 when the relationship started and didn't really have a solid foundation to understand how someone should treat you.He also lied repeatedly about our finances, locked me out of our own online bank account so that I wouldn't know about his lies. He lied about losing a job and pretended to go to work everyday for months. He sold a family heirloom of mine to cover this up financially. That was the final straw.In the end it came out that he was a narcissist. He did a lot of nonsense to feed his own ego without regard for others. Narcissists are pretty ace manipulators (and as I said I didn't have a great foundation myself at the time) so it took me a LONG time to realize what was up and leave.awholedamngarden

4. I was with my ex for like, 6 years and about once a year I'd catch him sexting random women on dating websites, like sending the same messages to scores of all types, even trans though he's not gay?

Idk, but he always said that p**n was boring and using these sites and getting these people to send him nudes was how he got off. He cried, promised not to do it anymore, things got better... So I bought it, or wasn't sure what else to do so I stayed.Things were kinda normal until he made friends with two girls about 4 or so years younger than him at his restaurant job, they were bartenders and friends and they flirted while at work probably and definitely did so in text... Which was unprofessional af, since he was the manager.Anyway, told him not to keep in contact with them after picking up on their "friendship, he did. Our relationship soured and one night I got fed up and waited til he was asleep and stealthy unlocked his phone (had to try the d**n fingerprint thing since he kept his phone on lock down all day and kept the passcode a secret too) and boy did I find a PLETHORA of texts and pics proving that he was having an affair with those two girls(sometimes together) and I ended it that night. It was a s**t show. My only regret is that I didn't get out sooner. We were pretty incompatible when I look back, and my current bf is my actual soul mate and I couldn't be happier now!!Tldr: he cheated, and unsurprisingly, he did it again. 10/10 not worth.Pebbledlikestoned

5. "I should have run..."

6. "I was so jealous and paranoid."

7. "He has some pretty serious undiagnosed mental issues..."

8. My ex and I were each other's firsts (we got together right after high school, and were together almost ten years). I confused his lack of interest in my pleasure for his inexperience.

Honestly I'm fairly hard to get off (props to my bf who makes it happen on the daily and figured out how to make it happen within 10min) so I wasn't trying to judge and I'm sure it was very frustrating dealing with that. However even with communication about it, it never really got better. I didn't see him try harder. Eventually we stopped being intimate for the last two years of the relationship.

Second one was when he started a new job in a customer-service area. One of his coworkers was smitten immediately and apparently they were talking all the time at work. He didn't tell her we were engaged for the first three weeks.

Third was when he gaslighted me about his infatuation with her and defended their "friendship". People started putting their input about us into his head, and said I was trying to alienate him from having platonic women friends in his life. This went on for a solid year before he finally blocked her.

Last was right after our breakup. It was mutual and amicable, but it didn't make it any easier. I found out for the first few weeks of us being broken up, he was fooling around with his best chick friend (who was a mutual friend of ours and I had hooked her up with another mutual friend - they had been together about 3-4 years) under my nose. She broke up with her ex (the friend) and he was actually the one who gave me the heads up when he found out about it.

Anyway needless to say, we both gave each other lot of chances. We simply were not compatible.

trueriptide

9. "We will see in the end if it is."

10. My ex boyfriend of 6 years was cheating on my but I didn’t do anything about it.

I had his phone to give directions and he got a message from a girl named Rebecca. I opened it. And saw countless of conversations of them flirting. Spamming a few months. Then he got a snap chat. I opened it and it was her naked saying “good morning” it was evening. But whatever. I kept quiet about it for a day, then questioned him. He said it was all in joke and nothing serious and she’d never sent him a n**e before. Stupidly, I bought it. About 10 months later he ups and leaves me. No reason. Nothing. 6.5 years. Won’t tell me why. Then she adds me on snap chat and starts harassing me. I no longer tolerate that behavior. I also don’t search my husbands phone. Total trust. I shouldn’t of wasted my time on my ex.wheredowego90

11. We used to fight bitterly. Small things would boil over and become very messy very quickly because we weren't communicating well.

It came to a head about 18 months ago when he slam my laptop shut and out of my lap, which actually broke it, and then pinned me to the bed and shouted in my face.Now, I will preface this by saying that while I know that domestic violence isn't just the act of actually hitting/hurt someone, he didn't hurt me and I have thrown plenty of his stuff around over the years. Neither of us is innocent and my actions don't excuse his actions, vice versa.We split up for a while, he went to therapy (something I asked him to do repeatedly over the years but he'd never do), went on medication for depression and started going to the gym, which gave him a healthy outlet for some of his frustration.I continued with the therapy I'd been in for several years and talked through my own problems.Eventually, we got back together. Things are not perfect but they are much better now. We got married earlier this year (we had been together 8 years already) and we communicate much better now. Small frustrations are less likely to explode into ugly fights.The dog is much happier, too, so that's a bonus.Belfette

12. Being a jerk. Since he got a CPAP machine, he's amazing.

Turns out he's been exhausted from years of terrible sleeps. Now that he's sleeping through the night, he's a totally different person.fibonacci_veritas

13. "I could not believe it."

14. She wasn’t just dating a cheater, she was dating a full-time audition process. At least the exit interview came with peace of mind.

My ex-boyfriend and I worked together for a summer, I found out a month after we both left the job he cheated on me with our boss while we were still working there, didn’t use protection with either of us, and potentially had s*x with both of us on the same day. I forgave him, to find out later he had cheated on me a few weeks after the first time with his ex. Later found out he was cheating on me again, and had told all three of these women he was going to dump me for them. We’ve been done for good for over a year now and I’ve never been happier with my life.lysscakes1930

15. "Cheated on me with a girl at work..."

16. "I haven't had to face anything that is a deal breaker..."

17. My ex-boyfriend had an affair with one of his classmates when he started grad school.

It was extremely difficult but I forgave him and hung in there. We had been dating for a few years at that point.A few years later he cheated again and we broke up for good. I'm not sure I can ever excuse that kind of behavior in a relationship anymore.littlebunsenburner

18. "Never rely on your SO financially 100%"

19. "I'm still wary about trusting him."

20. "Took him back again..."

21. "I wish I could forget."

22. "Some days I go back..."

23. I always asked him to never drink and drive.

He totalled my car and got a DUI like 6 mohs after he turned 21. I stayed with him. He was a raging drunk. Relationship fell apart a few years later. I'm mntuch happier without him.RobotDeathQueen

24. "I should have left months before I did."

25. "He will be quiet and isolate himself for the rest of the day."

26. Less than a year after marrying, my husband confessed his alcoholism was worse than I knew and he was over $10k in debt.

Counseling, ultimatums, lots of fighting and thinking we would not make it, and especially since I was raised by an alcoholic dad I was not keen to stick around and thought we were headed to an early divorce. Tried to live with it for a while, had a baby, thought things were okay, then a b**b dropped and I found out he was having booze delivered to our house and getting wasted while home alone caring for our infant. I just about set his a*s on fire and never wanted to see him again. I kicked him out and was in the process of figuring out how to get him out of my life for good.He stayed with his parents while he worked his a*s off to better himself, came clean to everyone in his life and admitted he had a drinking problem, started SMART meetings and got an at-home blood alcohol test to show me his sincerity and hold himself accountable, overcame his alcoholism, and is a completely different person today than he was 3 years ago before we both quit drinking completely. That, in my opinion, was 1000% undeniable marriage-level commitment, that was what I signed up for. He showed me he was fighting for us and was worth that fight. It genuinely made us closer than ever and helped me further appreciate that I married an incredible person.ohdatpoodle

27. "Tried to lock me in the trunk of our car by my neck."

28. "I will never allow anyone to put their hands on me again."

29. "He was dead set on getting married."

30. "I'm afraid I would have royally screwed up the baby."

31. "He had cheated on me and never planned to tell me."

32. He cheated 2nd year and 7th year (LOTS of backstory we do not have time for here - let’s just say infidelity is a SYMPTOM of things wrong in a relationship)

I forgave him both times. I’m not sure he has ever forgiven himself. It took many years (probably about 6-7) to trust again. We are now at year 33 and we couldn’t be happier. Our kids are grown. We have an incredible partnership. We are best friends. We have worked exceptionally hard on our relationship and it has been worth it. We love and adore each other.cecilpenny

33. He ghosted me for a week when my friend died because he couldn’t handle my emotions, I forgave him and then he did the exact same thing on the anniversary of her death.

There were a lot of other red flags and the relationship was very on and off, but that was the final straw.username_47239

34. "I bailed his a** out."

35. "He told me to take our son and get out."

36. I found some messages on her phone to her best friend about me.

Mean-spirited stuff. I was really hurt and she expressed that she was venting and didn’t really feel that way. We went to counseling and worked through some old resentments.PuzzleheadedTry7370

37. "I said sure, what the hell."

38. Husband cheated. I told him he had to leave. Now. He cried, apologized. Said he would give me and the kids his paycheck and move in with his mom with just enough money to live on.

I told him I didn't want his money. The kids and I will be fine. He cried even more. Weeks later we had a counseling session. He is back home now, has been for over a year and has done everything he can to appreciate me for all that I do for him and the kids. To make matters worse, he cheated in the middle of the year and a half between both of my parents dying so I'm in quite an emotional roller coaster now.sagehippieone

39. He got way too drunk at a friend's party and cheated on me with a coworker. Not like full on s*x cheating, more like snuggle and kiss cheating.

The next few months were really tough. He immediately quit drinking, saw a therapist, and we set some boundaries and house rules to rebuild trust. For example, if he was going to be late getting home from work, he called me. These little things, over time, were essential to rebuilding trust.I also had a bunch of therapy. Like others have said, it can be hard to let go of stuff. I made a choice to stay with my partner, and I realized that continuing to be mad at him wasn't fair to either of us. I decided that our present and future together was more important, and when anger would surface, I would remind myself of that. This only worked because we were both putting in effort to move on.This event was three and a half years ago, we've now been together like 8 years. We're doing great.dontspeaksoftly

40. "Our relationship cannot be romantic..."

Reading through all of these stories, you can feel just how heavy the word “forgive” really is. For some, it meant watching a partner get sober, grow up, or finally tell the truth. For others, it meant realizing that walking away was the most loving thing they could do for themselves.

There is no single rule here, no neat quote that fits every couple. There is only this: forgiveness is powerful, but it is not free. It costs time, effort, and sometimes pieces of yourself you wish you had protected.

Have you ever forgiven something big and seen it pay off, or blow up? Share this with a friend who has opinions on this, then tell us where you draw the line!