Friend Refused My Repayment - AITA for Considering Debt Cleared?

It started with a simple loan, and somehow ended with a guy asking for help finding cheap current-gen gaming consoles like it was all totally normal. Over a few hundred bucks, this friendship turned into a weird tug-of-war where “I can’t take it” somehow became “you still owe me.”

About 15 years ago, OP’s friend lent them money, then OP moved away and life happened, so the repayment never happened. Fast forward to reconnecting a couple years ago, OP offered to pay right then, and the friend refused, saying he couldn’t take money from someone with two kids to worry about. Later, the friend brought up how people owe him money, OP offered again, and the friend still didn’t want it.

Now the friend is acting like the debt is back on the table, and OP is wondering if refusing to repay was the real mistake.

Original Post

About 15 years ago my friend lent me a few hundred bucks. I left the state shortly after, had a life and never paid him back.

We got back in contact a couple years ago and I honestly completely forgot about the debt I owed him when he brought it up, but it 100% sounded legit something that I did so I offered to pay him back right then. He declined and said he couldn't take it from me when I had two kids to worry about.

A few months later he brought up again how so many people owe him money but he feels bad asking for money back from them. I told him I had the money to spare and could pay him back and he was kinda taken aback and said he didn't mean me and he didn't want my money.

Now in present day he's asking me if I know any place selling cheap current gen gaming systems I let him know about stock x and possibly mercari but it's something to keep an eye on because of the pricing and randomness of the apps respectively. He went on about how he's no good on that online stuff and if I could buy him one and he'd pay me the difference out of what I owed him.

I told him I didn't owe him anything because I offered to pay him twice already and he refused so I don't need to pay him anything anymore. He claims that since he said “don't worry about it” it didn't mean I didn't still owe him.

I told him since I tried to pay him back and he didn't take it that it's done and not to bring it up again to me, and I withdrew my offer to help with finding the gaming system because now I'm worried I'm going to be stiffed. AITA?

TLDR: I owed friend a few hundred bucks, they wouldn't accept it when I offered, now saying I owe them again but I consider it over with.

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This also echoes the sibling demanding an equal split of parents care expenses, after you did most of the work.

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That first time OP tried to hand over the money, the friend shot it down and claimed it was because OP had two kids to manage.

Then the friend pivoted from “I can’t take it” to complaining that other people owe him, while OP insisted they could pay.

When OP offered to settle again, the friend said he didn’t mean OP and still refused, which is when OP started assuming the debt was over.

Now, instead of talking repayment like adults, the friend is asking OP to find a cheap gaming system and offering to “pay the difference,” and OP is afraid they will get stiffed.

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

OP might not be the problem, but this friendship sure is demanding a refund for a “don’t worry about it” that got reinterpreted.

For more family money tension, see the AITA where parents inflated wedding expenses with last-minute guest additions.