Friends Lazy Parenting Forces Me to Set Boundaries: AITA?
AITA for setting boundaries with a friend who habitually dumps her parenting responsibilities on me and others, leading to a confrontation about her laziness?
Some people call it “helping out,” but OP is starting to realize it might be something else entirely. Her friend shows up, hands the parenting off like it’s optional, and then checks out the moment they’re out in public.
OP, 22F, loves being around her 2-year-old, but every hangout turns into the same pattern: the friend wanders off, scrolls on her phone, or leaves OP holding the responsibility. It even escalates to her dropping the kid at OP’s place because they live close.
And when OP finds out she’s doing the same thing to her sister at home, the guilt hits hard, because OP already knows she’s been enabling it.
Original Post
I’m going to try to make this short. I (22F) have a friend (24F) who has a kid age 2 and as much as I love watching and parenting for her, it always gets to a point.
Every time we hang out she kinda checks out, goes on her phone or just wanders off. This isn’t a one time occurrence, it happens too often.
Whether we’re at the mall or just having a walk, she leaves full responsibility of watching over and parenting her to me. Sometimes she dumps her at my place because I live just down the road from her.
I always complained to her so I never had much of a problem until I found out she does the same with her sister at home. That’s when I realized I’ve been enabling her too. I spoke to her later that day about how she’s being very lazy in taking care of her kid and she got mad at me saying I don’t know about taking care of a kid so I’m not allowed to judge her.
I was shocked and told her I can’t watch over her kid anymore until she decides to be responsible. She has been calling to come over or hang out since then and I have been saying no but I feel like an a*****e whenever I do that.
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It also reminds me of the person struggling to train a new hire after past conflict.
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OP finally confronts her friend after repeated mall walks and phone-checkouts, and that’s when the friend gets defensive instead of grateful.
The real twist lands when OP learns her friend pulls the same stunt with her sister, meaning this is not a one-off “bad day.”
OP draws a line, telling her she won’t watch the kid anymore until she starts being responsible, and suddenly the “hang out” requests come flooding in.
Every time OP says no to coming over, she second-guesses herself, wondering if she’s being unfair to someone who keeps dumping childcare duties on her.</p>
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.
OP might have set boundaries, but now she’s stuck wondering if refusing to parent for free makes her the villain.
Want workplace chaos too? See how I handled my chronically late coworker that disrupted everything here.
