Friends Pregnancy Secret Request Causes Strain: AITAH?
AITAH for requesting my friend to keep her pregnancy a secret due to personal fertility issues, causing tension in our friendship?
Some friendships are built on decades of inside jokes and “I’ll be there no matter what” energy. This one started with that kind of trust, until Sarah’s pregnancy bombshell hit and OP’s own silent heartbreak crashed into it.
OP (27F) has been best friends with Sarah (26F) for over a decade, sharing everything. But behind the scenes, OP has been dealing with fertility struggles and miscarriages, and she finally said her peace when Sarah announced she’s pregnant. OP congratulated her, then asked Sarah to keep the pregnancy a secret for a while, so OP could process without feeling like she was constantly drowning in someone else’s joy.
Now Sarah wants to celebrate with everyone, including OP, and the friendship is starting to feel strained.
Original Post
I (27F) have been best friends with Sarah (26F) for over a decade. We share everything and have always supported each other through thick and thin.
Recently, Sarah shared with me that she's pregnant and thrilled about it. However, due to personal fertility struggles and miscarriages that I've been dealing with in silence, I felt a mix of emotions upon hearing her news.
I congratulated her but asked her to keep her pregnancy a secret for a while until I could process my feelings and come to terms with my own situation. I explained my reasons to Sarah, hoping she would understand.
She seemed taken aback and hurt by my request, saying she wanted to celebrate this joyous moment with everyone, including me. Sarah now feels conflicted about sharing her happiness, and I can sense a strain in our friendship.
So AITAH for making this request, considering my circumstances?
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It’s a lot like the best-friend pregnancy celebration miss that sparked backlash for choosing OP’s feelings.
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OP’s “congrats, but please keep it quiet” request landed right after Sarah told her she’s pregnant, and the timing made it feel personal instead of protective.
Sarah, who wanted to celebrate the moment with everyone, including OP, heard the request as a rejection of her happiness.
Meanwhile OP is trying to hold in miscarriages and fertility pain, which is why she asked for a pause before the news spread.
The strain shows up fast, because Sarah now feels conflicted about sharing, and OP can sense the friendship shifting.
How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.
It’s not the pregnancy that broke the vibe, it’s the secret request that made both women feel trapped.
Want the other side of this, read what happened when someone hid their pregnancy from an infertile friend.
