Redditor Says Their Friend Keeps “Borrowing” Money — And Now Everyone’s Split On Whether They’re The Real Villain

It started with $20 and $40 requests, the kind of “just for gas” messages that sound harmless when you’re broke and your friend is broke too. But for one Redditor, those small asks turned into a full-on money routine, with bigger amounts, slower paybacks, and a whole lot of attitude the moment they tried to set a limit.

The OP, 23, says their close friend Ella, 25, went from occasional favors to frequent borrowing over the past year. Sometimes Ella paid back late, sometimes not at all. Then she asked for $300, calling it urgent, and the OP finally pushed back when she needed it by the end of the week. Ella didn’t just disagree, she snapped that the OP was acting like a “bank” and that real friends don’t keep “score of favors.”

Now the mutual friends are split, and the OP is wondering if they’re the real villain for drawing a line.

Over the past year, though, the requests became more frequent, and the amounts started creeping higher.

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Original Post

I’ll go straight at it, so I’m 23 and my friend Ella is 25F, we’ve have been really close for a few years now, We hang out very frequently and I’ve always thought of her as one of my closest people.

The problem here is, she’s gotten into the habit of asking me for money begging with little amounts at first, like $20 here or $40 there for gas or groceries. I didn’t mind at first because I figured friends help each other out. But over the past year it’s gotten more frequent and has become her habit, now the amounts have grown. Sometimes she pays me back late, especially after I ask her over and over sometimes not at all. A couple of weeks ago she asked me for $300 she said it was really urgent at the point. I fell for it again and gave it to her, but when I reminded her that I needed it back by the end of the week, she got annoyed. She told me I was acting like a bank and that real friends don’t keep “score of favors” That struck a nerve , because I don’t see it as keeping scores, I just can’t afford to keep floating her like this. So I confronted and told her that from now on, I will only lend money in real emergencies, and I’d need her to promise to payback on whenever we agree on. All of a sudden she got upset and accused me of being cold and not trusting her. Now some of our mutual friends are saying I’m being too harsh and should’ve just let it go to avoid drama, while others think I’m right to set a boundary. AITA for putting my foot down?

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

NotAtAllExciting

"Givers have a limit. Takers don't."

Puzzleheaded-Fly7632

"Give her some names."

Such-Problem-4725

"Stop lending her money."

miss_chapstick

NTA.

Best_Current_8379

"Now ya know."

Free-Place-3930

It’s like the UberEats tip debate, where people argued about tipping despite high fees.

You're buying her time.

Old-guy64

It's just an excuse.

icecreampenis

"You are done."

lovescarats

"She is using you."

Fluffy_Fox_9650

"You can't afford to keep floating her."

jillian512

"YTA to yourself."

crownbee666

She's very brazen.

Dry_Day8844

OP thought the early $20 and $40 loans were normal friend help, until they started coming more often and for bigger reasons.

After Ella asked for $300 “really urgent” money, the OP tried to get a clear payback date, and that’s when Ella got annoyed.

When the OP said they’d only lend for true emergencies and would need a repayment agreement, Ella accused them of being cold and untrusting.

Now mutual friends are taking sides, with some saying the OP should’ve swallowed the drama and others saying Ella is using them for time.

In the end, the OP’s story is a reminder that even strong friendships can wobble when money enters the mix. But standing up for your own limits isn’t cold — it’s how healthy relationships survive, and sometimes a well-placed boundary is exactly what keeps things from falling apart.

The OP might not be a bank, but Ella apparently expects the account to stay open.

Before you judge Ella’s money requests, read whether a Redditor should have tipped the pizza delivery guy.