Redditors Descend On Man Who Expresses His Hate For Funerals And Why He Doesn't Want To Attend One With His GF

It's customary in most cultures to have a funeral after someone passes away. Some people, on the other hand, would prefer not to arrange a funeral, and they have no interest in attending one either.

One should not take lightly the decision to skip a funeral. Normally, it's expected that you should go to a funeral if you are close enough to the deceased.

However, there are times when you might second-guess yourself, so it's crucial to decide on something and then stick with it. This might be a lot to deal with when you are grieving a loss, but you do have to make a choice.

The OP of today's story doesn’t like funerals, and he's not squeamish or bothered by them. He just personally doesn’t get the point and usually sits there very bored, trying not to fidget or look disinterested.

The OP understands that some people need them for closure, but he just doesn’t. OP's GF has attended a few funerals and has expected him to accompany her.

One required the OP to take time off work, and another was for someone he has never met and whose GF has never mentioned in the years they have been together. The OP got fed up and wants to tell his girlfriend that she can go if she feels obligated to attend, but she shouldn’t make him feel obligated to go too.

The full story lies below, and you can check it out as you scroll down.

The headline

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

And the story kicks off...

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

Understanding Personal Grief and Social Expectations

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and the way individuals cope with it can vary significantly. Dr. John Peterson, a grief specialist, explains that some people may express their disdain for traditional rituals like funerals due to their own experiences with loss, which can feel overwhelming or unnecessary.

Research indicates that societal expectations around grief can create additional pressure, leading individuals to adopt avoidance strategies rather than confronting their feelings directly.

"It’s my GF’s cousin’s wife’s stepfather"

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

She hasn't tried to make OP feel bad about the one he missed

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

Not attending funerals with my girlfriendBecause it sometimes feels like you're just supposed to do those sorts of things.

And the comments roll in...

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

If you care enough about someone...

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

In this case, the man's reluctance to attend funerals with his girlfriend suggests an internal struggle with societal norms surrounding grief. A psychologist specializing in emotional regulation notes that avoiding situations that evoke strong emotions can be a coping mechanism aimed at protecting oneself from discomfort.

Studies show that avoidance can provide temporary relief but may ultimately hinder emotional processing and healing.

I don't know this person

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

A family member of my GF's

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

The OP left this detail in the comments section

I don't feel that I'm really there to support her, as she has no emotional ties to some of these people (or maybe she does and never expressed them)."But my GF is really shaken up about it and has begged me to come with her."That was in no way the case here. She said specifically she felt obligated to go based on being friends with her cousin and his wife. I may still be the AH though for potentially minimizing her feelings because I don't understand them.

Setting a baseline with her

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

Funerals aren't the OP's bag

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

The Psychology of Avoidance in Grief

Avoidance behaviors are common in individuals facing grief, often stemming from a fear of vulnerability or emotional pain. Research published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology highlights that such strategies can prevent individuals from fully engaging with their emotions, leading to prolonged grief responses.

Understanding the underlying reasons for avoidance is crucial in developing healthier coping mechanisms.

A card with a note of sympathy

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

The OP shouldn't be forced

Reddit/Kamikaze_Sasquatch

To address avoidance behaviors, individuals can benefit from engaging in therapeutic practices that encourage emotional exploration. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals confront their fears and develop healthier coping strategies.

Additionally, joining support groups can provide a sense of community where individuals can share their experiences and learn from others facing similar struggles.

Psychological Analysis

Our in-house psychologist points out that the man's aversion to funerals likely reflects a personal coping mechanism developed in response to past losses. This behavior may indicate a deeper fear of vulnerability and emotional exposure that needs to be addressed for healthier processing of grief.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

The reluctance to engage in funerals reflects deeper personal struggles with grief and societal expectations. According to research in grief psychology, fostering open communication can enhance understanding and support in relationships during challenging times.

By addressing avoidance behaviors and encouraging emotional exploration, individuals can navigate their grief more effectively while maintaining healthy connections.

There are several reasons why you might consider not attending a funeral, but occasionally, you might have to concede that it's something you just have to do. Funerals are not joyful or pleasant events, but they are frequently a necessary aspect of saying goodbye.

Redditors made this known to the OP while still declaring him the AH in the story. Share this post with your loved ones to get their own opinions as well.

Navigating Grief in Relationships

Grief can significantly impact relationships, often leading to misunderstandings between partners. Dr. Emily Hart from the University of Chicago emphasizes that when one partner is processing grief differently, it can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration.

Research shows that open communication about feelings and coping styles is essential for maintaining healthy relationships during times of loss.

Encouraging couples to engage in regular check-ins about their emotional states can enhance connection and understanding. Utilizing tools like grief journals or shared activities can help partners navigate their feelings together, fostering a supportive environment.

Moreover, couples therapy can provide a structured space for discussing grief-related issues and improving communication skills.