She Just Wanted Groceries — But A Blocked Aisle Turned Into A Showdown Over Bad Manners

A woman shared on Reddit that what started as a simple grocery run ended with her in tears — and questioning her social instincts. She explained that she’s been diagnosed with autism, and while she feels she handled things reasonably, past experiences have made her cautious about whether she misreads social situations.

She’d been at the grocery store picking up a few things when she encountered a man whose cart was blocking the aisle. Rather than asking him to move, she carefully lifted her basket over her head and squeezed through the tight gap between his cart and the shelves.

After grabbing the item she needed, she came back the same way. Once again, she lifted her basket and maneuvered around the cart, not wanting to interrupt or wait.

That’s when the man spun around and snapped. According to her, he shouted, “You could just say ‘excuse me!’ I’d move it if you asked.”

Caught off guard, she simply replied “okay” and walked away to check out. But the brief encounter lingered in her mind, and by the time she got home, she burst into tears from the stress.

She said it had been a long week, she was on her period, and the situation just broke her down. Still, she couldn’t shake the thought — had she actually done something wrong?

She admitted she could have asked him to move, but she didn’t think it was necessary. “I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask permission to a fellow shopper to access a grocery aisle,” she explained. “I didn’t want to wait for him to move it if I could squeeze past.”

To her, it seemed like common sense — if someone cared about making room for others, they wouldn’t block the aisle in the first place. She figured he wasn’t bothered enough to move his cart unless someone directly asked, and she didn’t see the need to engage when she could handle it herself.

Still, his outburst stung. She said it felt like he’d been waiting for a reason to yell at someone, and unfortunately, she was just the unlucky target that day.

As comments poured in, people were divided. Some thought she could have just said “excuse me” to avoid conflict. Others felt the man was being unnecessarily aggressive and that it wasn’t her responsibility to compensate for his lack of spatial awareness.

But amid all the takes — from “not the a**hole” to “everyone sucks here” — she said she genuinely appreciated the insight. It gave her a chance to step back and see the situation from multiple angles.

After some reflection, she decided that both she and the man had probably just been having rough days. “I was stressed out by my own life stuff and that’s why I didn’t say excuse me,” she wrote. “He probably has his own life stuff that caused him to lack spatial awareness and snap in that moment.”

She even poked fun at her own confusion about her autism diagnosis. “One doctor said I was autistic,” she joked, “and another said he was stupid for saying that. So I guess that makes me half-autistic — like one of those half-dragonkin from fantasy novels.”

By the end, she’d made peace with the encounter. Sometimes, she realized, people are just human — stressed, tired, and imperfectly navigating small moments that somehow feel big.

And as far as grocery store etiquette goes? Maybe a simple “excuse me” and a little spatial awareness on both sides could save everyone a headache next time.

He shouted, “You could just say ‘excuse me!’ I’d move it if you asked.”

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by the now deleted Reddit user.

Hi. I feel like I’m in the right here, but I’ve been diagnosed with autism and there have been social situations in the past where I’ve come to realize that I was indeed, TA, so I want to get some feedback and make sure my feelings are aligned.Today I was grabbing a few things at the grocery store. A man was standing with his cart blocking the aisle. I was able to squeeze through by lifting my basket over my head and carefully sidestepping past the cart.I grabbed the item I wanted from the aisle and went past the same way, since I needed to get to the checkout. I did the same thing. I lifted my basket over my head and squeezed through the tight space left between the cart and shelves.The man wheeled around and yelled at me. He said “You could just say ‘excuse me!’ I’d move it if you asked.” I said okay and left to the checkout.It’s true I could have said something, but I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask permission to a fellow shopper to access a grocery aisle. I didn’t want to wait for him to move it if I could squeeze past with my basket. I also assumed that if he had been concerned enough to move the cart for other shoppers in the first place, that he wouldn’t have been standing with his cart blocking the aisle. There was plenty of space to move the cart to in a way that would have provided more room. I thought that if he had cared enough to move, he would have done it preemptively.I honestly burst into tears when I got home. It’s been a long week haha, and I’m on my period. I really do feel like I didn’t do anything wrong and he was probably just looking for an excuse to yell at someone, but my mind is so scrambled and my hormones are so low that I’m just wondering if I really am in the wrong.AITA?Edit: this post has only been up for like, a hot minute but everyone from the NTAs to the YTAs and the ESHs have been helpful and I want to thank you. It’s helped me with my perspective on things.I’ve come to believe that probably both I and the man both could have done better and did our best at the same time. I was stressed out by my own life stuff and that’s why I didn’t say excuse me, and he probably has his own life stuff that caused him to lack spatial awareness and snap in that moment.One commenter mentioned the autism and a funny thing about that is that while I was diagnosed by one doctor, the doctor after him thoroughly disagreed and thought he was stupid. So considering that I have been diagnosed as autistic by one and non-autistic by another, I think that probably means that I am half autist. Like one of those half dragonkins from a fantasy novel.

Understanding Social Interactions

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on social interactions, emphasizes the importance of understanding context in interpersonal communications. She notes that many people misinterpret social cues, especially in environments like grocery stores, where the hurried nature can lead to misunderstandings.

Dr. Durvasula suggests that individuals should cultivate awareness of their own emotional triggers and practice patience when interacting with others. This mindset can help in navigating potentially confrontational situations more smoothly.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

HansNiesenBumsedesi

NTA.

OkManufacturer767

A social psychologist explains that public spaces often escalate tensions due to crowded conditions and the anonymity they provide. The phenomenon of 'social loafing' can lead people to act in ways they'd typically avoid in more intimate settings. This detachment might explain why some individuals feel emboldened to disregard basic courtesies.

To mitigate these issues, fostering a culture of mutual respect in public places is essential. Encouraging open dialogue and understanding among community members can significantly improve interactions.

"Screw him."

MovieLazy6576

"He deflected."

bektehgreat

"People need to not block aisles!"

Cold-Excitement72212

Coping with Social Anxiety

For those who struggle with social interactions, Dr. Stephen Porges, known for his polyvagal theory, highlights the importance of regulating one's physiological state. He proposes that techniques such as controlled breathing can help individuals feel more grounded and present during social encounters.

By understanding the body's responses to stress, individuals can prepare themselves better for engaging in challenging social situations, like crowded grocery stores. This approach not only improves personal experiences but also helps in cultivating empathy toward others.

"This isn’t remotely on you."

rabid_rabbity

"When I have seen someone struggle to pass me, that’s my cue to move."

TumbleweedLoner

"Some people are unaware."

youarenotcute_stfu

Dr. Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, notes that misunderstandings in social settings often stem from differing expectations. He suggests that individuals clarify intentions when communicating with others, especially in tense moments.

One effective strategy is to approach others with an open-ended question rather than an accusation. For example, instead of saying, 'You’re in my way,' a gentler approach, such as, 'Could you please move your cart?' can reduce defensiveness and foster cooperation.

There's a special "excuse me" for aisle blockers.

BotherAffectionate37

"Don't give it another thought."

Technical-Algae5424

NAH.

monicagellers

The Role of Empathy

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a researcher in positive psychology, emphasizes how empathy can transform negative interactions into constructive ones. She argues that by actively listening and trying to understand others' perspectives, individuals can diffuse tense situations.

Practicing empathy not only enhances personal well-being but also promotes a sense of community. In the context of grocery shopping, a simple acknowledgment of another’s frustrations can turn a potential conflict into a shared understanding.

"He could have moved his cart."

Librarianatrix

ESH.

mermaidlesbian

"Nothing you did affected him in any way."

ThatsNotVeryDerek

To improve social interactions in public places, experts recommend practicing mindfulness techniques. Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist known for his work on interpersonal neurobiology, suggests that being present in the moment can help individuals respond rather than react.

Mindfulness practices, such as focusing on breathing or grounding oneself, can aid in managing emotions during challenging encounters. This can lead to healthier interactions and a more pleasant experience overall.

In the end, she learned that not every awkward encounter has a clear villain — sometimes it’s just two frazzled humans colliding in the cereal aisle. Maybe the real takeaway isn’t about who was right or wrong, but about giving ourselves (and each other) a little more grace when life gets tight — literally and emotionally.

Expert Opinion

This grocery store showdown highlights how stress and individual circumstances can amplify reactions in everyday situations. The woman’s hesitance to ask for space may stem from past experiences tied to her autism, leading her to overthink social cues. Meanwhile, the man’s outburst likely reflects his own frustrations, illustrating how sometimes, we all just need a little understanding and patience from one another amidst the chaos of daily life.

Therapeutic Insights & Recovery

Understanding the dynamics of social interactions can greatly enhance our experiences in public spaces. Experts like Dr. Ramani Durvasula and Dr. Stephen Porges emphasize the importance of context and physiological awareness in navigating potential conflicts. By cultivating empathy and practicing mindfulness, individuals can transform challenging encounters into opportunities for connection. This not only improves personal interactions but also contributes to a more respectful community atmosphere. As we collectively become more aware of our behaviors and their impacts, we can foster an environment where mutual respect thrives.