Father Refuses To Be Guarantor On The Lease For Son And His Roommates Because He Wasn't Consulted Before

A lot of parents will help their kids get started, but one dad hit a hard stop when his son asked him to be the guarantor on an out-of-state lease. It was not the “no” that shocked people, it was the reason, the timing, and the sheer size of the ask: guaranteeing for three people.

Here’s the messy part, the son wants to study out of state, he needs a lease, and he wants OP to sign on as guarantor. OP says he wasn’t consulted before any of this got set in motion, and he doesn’t even know the roommates. On top of that, OP draws a line between helping with rent and taking on the kind of financial risk that could blow up if things go sideways.

Here’s the full story of how refusing to be a blank check turned a simple housing plan into a family standoff.

OP asks:

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His son wants to study out of state, and he wants OP to be the guarantor on his lease.

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

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OP’s son asked for guarantor status for the lease, and OP immediately realized he was being pulled into a situation he had zero say in.

Parental expectations can significantly shape young adults' attitudes toward financial independence.

Helping with rent and being a guarantor are two different things

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OP doesn't know these people

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The demand does sound ridiculous

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The dad offered a more reasonable option, support just his son, not three strangers tied to a lease he never agreed to.

It also echoes the AITA conflict where someone refused to fund a sibling’s risky business venture.

The psychology of entitlement can also play a role in this scenario. When children expect financial support without discussing it, it can create a sense of dependency that undermines their independence. Encouraging discussions about financial responsibilities can empower children to take ownership of their decisions and outcomes.

OP is being honest here:

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Guaranteeing for three people is insane, but there are options to support only their son

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The son is in a tight spot, but it is not as if he doesn't deserve it. He made his choices without consulting his parents, even though he knew he would be dependent on them.

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OP points out that guaranteeing for roommates is a whole different level of risk, especially when OP doesn’t even know these people.

Effective Communication Techniques

To navigate these discussions, it's essential for parents to approach the topic with empathy and openness.

"You both have good reasons for your actions."

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This Redditor shared their experience, and it shows how OP should do it:

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That’s when the conversation shifted from “helping out” to whether the son expected his father to cover choices made without consulting him.

In a world where young adults are often coddled and handed things on a silver platter, it's refreshing to see a parent stand their ground on matters of financial responsibility. While we all want the best for our children and hope to give them every advantage in life, there's a fine line between support and enabling.

This father's decision is not about stinginess or lack of love but about instilling essential life values. The son's expectation for his father to shoulder an undue financial risk is not only presumptuous but also disregards the real-world implications of such a commitment.

It's high time young adults realize that ambition and aspiration come with a price tag — one they should be prepared to pay themselves.

Promoting financial literacy among young adults can also mitigate feelings of entitlement. Providing resources for budgeting and financial planning empowers children to make informed decisions about their finances. Parents who support their children's financial education help cultivate a sense of responsibility and self-reliance.

The dynamics of parental involvement in financial matters can significantly influence young adults' perspectives on independence and responsibility.

Nobody wants to be the financial safety net for roommates they never met.

Before you decide what to do for your family, read the WIBTA post about refusing to lend money to parents in crisis.