Helicopter Mom Joins Her Son's Zoom Job Interview And Answered Questions On His Behalf

Job interviews are a nerve-wracking ordeal, especially for first-time job seekers. However, there is no way to bypass several interviews before securing the job for which you applied.

Countless articles, vlogs, and books claim to help people perform better during these interviews. They enumerate tips and tricks to calm nerves — superhero pose anyone?

While these resources can make a daunting prospect less intimidating, most, if not all, of those preparation techniques go out the window once you're sitting across from the interviewer. A hiring manager recently interviewed an applicant who employed a technique she had not encountered before.

The applicant was interviewing for a spot in the tech company's summer internship program, and it was all done via Zoom. He was a 19-year-old college student about to enter his sophomore year.

OP was introducing herself when she was cut off by the applicant's mom. She told OP who she was and began to talk about her son's work ethic.

OP went along but added politely that she would appreciate hearing all of this from the applicant himself. Mommy dearest didn't take the hint and kept interrupting the interview to answer questions on her son's behalf.

He answered all of the technical questions well enough, but due to his mother's constant interruptions, he didn't stand out for the right reasons. OP cut the interview shortly after asking the necessary technical questions and put the whole ordeal out of her mind.

OP didn't think back on that interview until a month later when she received an email from the mom asking about the status of her son's application

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OP was bothered since her mom used to do the same to her when she was a teenager. The difference is that OP's mom did all of that when she was 15, while this woman was interfering in her son's professional life at a tech company.

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OP felt bad for the 19-year-old since his mom was possibly ruining opportunities for him.

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The Role of Independence in Parenting

Dr. Susan Goldstein, an expert in child development, emphasizes that fostering independence is crucial for healthy psychological growth in children.

When parents over-involve themselves in their children's lives, as seen in this scenario, it can hinder their ability to develop essential life skills.

Research indicates that overprotective parenting can lead to increased anxiety and lower self-esteem in children.

OP replied to the mom's email and said she wasn't at liberty to disclose information to anyone other than the applicant.

She also sent an email to HR, asking them to send the rejection email to the kid. Not long after HR's email, OP received a phone call from the mom, who was now demanding some answers.

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OP reiterated that she cannot share private information with anyone who wasn't the concerned applicant.

She did tell the mom that her presence in the interview ruined her son's chances of securing an internship spot in their company. Furthermore, OP explained that they were looking to hire independent and self-driven candidates, which, based on the interview and the subsequent follow-up, her son did not illustrate.

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She also advised against what the mom did for future interviews because it would jeopardize her son's budding career. This set off the mom, and she cursed at OP, prompting the hiring manager to end the call. Could OP have handled the situation better?

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Psychological studies suggest that the balance between support and autonomy is vital for children's emotional development.

When parents inadvertently take control during critical moments, such as job interviews, it can create feelings of inadequacy in children.

Encouraging children to handle such situations independently builds resilience and self-confidence.

The mom probably wasn't used to people criticizing her overbearing brand of parenting.

Cat_got_ya_tongue

The mom thought she was giving her son a leg up by being "supportive," but in reality, her actions cost him a job.

SenpaiRanjid

He may have a better shot with face-to-face interviews in the future.

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Recognizing the Signs of Overparenting

Overparenting, or helicopter parenting, is characterized by an excessive focus on children’s lives and decisions.

Dr. Madeline Levine, a renowned child psychologist, states, "Parents often over-involve themselves in their children's lives out of fear for their future," which highlights the anxieties that drive this behavior. For more insights, visit her professional website at madelinelevine.com. Identifying these patterns early can help parents adjust their approaches to promote healthy independence.

Except his mom can also choose to be "supportive" in that setting.

vfernandez157

He has to wake up and see for himself how his mom is hindering his career before it even starts.

thegoldenratio011235

Parents like this are raising their children to be dependent on them their whole lives, and it does not end well for anyone.

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For parents who may identify with this behavior, it’s essential to reflect on the motivations behind their actions.

Engaging in self-reflection and possibly consulting with a therapist can help parents understand the impact of their behavior on their children.

Setting small, manageable goals for allowing children to take on responsibilities can foster independence and reduce anxiety.

They are crossing so many boundaries; it's unhealthy.

jimmy_three_shoes

OP handled the situation professionally, and she might have helped this young man course-correct earlier than he would have on his own.

FullmetalBlue13

If OP hired him, she would be seeing the mom a lot more than she thinks.

destroyer1134

They will berate you every single time they feel their child or spouse was slighted or overlooked, and that's really not the kind of stress you want on top of your workload.

The_Blip

OP can consider informing the son why his mom's behavior affected his chances at an internship.

scarfknitter

It's no longer a part of OP's job, but if she really wants to go out of her way to help this 19-year-old, then she can guide him a little bit.

andreaic

As ridiculous as this is, it happens a lot more often than we think.

LancreWitch

Instead of helping them, parents like these are just teaching their children to never be truly responsible for their own lives.

ThommasKurbyson

The sad thing is they probably think their controlling behavior is just their way of showing how much they care.

JeaniousSpelur

Having your parents' support is an amazing thing. However, when it crosses so many boundaries, it's just plain unhealthy for everyone involved.

It's a good thing that OP called her out while the son is still young. It hasn't really ruined his professional career, but if he allows his mom to interfere with his life to this extent, he will never be able to hold down a job, no matter how skilled he is.

Psychological Analysis

Our in-house psychologist notes that this scenario highlights the challenges of balancing support and independence in parenting.

Encouraging children to take risks and face challenges can ultimately lead to healthier development.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, promoting independence in children is crucial for their emotional and psychological well-being. Dr. Michael Thompson, a renowned child psychologist, emphasizes that "children who learn to navigate challenges on their own develop resilience and confidence." His insights can be found on his professional website, michaelthompson-phd.com. Additionally, Dr. Alfie Kohn, an education expert, states, "Fostering autonomy in children not only prepares them for adulthood but also contributes to their overall happiness." You can explore more of his work at alfiekohn.org, reinforcing the idea that fostering autonomy leads to better-adjusted adults.