Kids Who Add The Perfect Amount Of Humor And Sarcasm To The Universe
Parents on Twitter are the best.
Kids have a way of turning ordinary moments into comedy gold, and this roundup proves it fast.
The hashtag #shitmykidsays has parents sharing the funniest, sharpest, and most unexpectedly sarcastic things their children blurt out at home. From tiny one-liners to brutally honest observations, these posts show just how quickly kids can steal the spotlight.
Some of these lines are so good, they sound scripted, but they are all too real. Read on for the funniest kid quotes parents could not wait to share.
1. Asking the Important Questions!
Who says kids don't learn the right things at school?
Twitter2. Ouch
Poor Mom.
Twitter3. Shot Down, Hard.
No thanks, Mom.
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4. A for Effort
F for Fart.
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5. No Offense...
To who really matters.
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6. Here's a Little Something Extra!
Life lessons important to teach our kids young: wash your hands.
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7. Nobody Appreciates Your Talent Around Here
Least of all, your children.
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8. And Mothers Everywhere Glanced at Dads.
(And probably glared.)
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9. This Kid is Going Places.
Possibly dark places, possibly nerdy places. Definitely places.
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10. Impressive String of Words from a 3-Year-Old.
Sorry, Mom, you may have birthed this child, but they are a strong, independent toddler, and they don't need you.
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11. Same Difference.
Kids raise good points.
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12. Same
100% same.
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This hits close to home for moms like the one who adopted a pet, then faced severe allergies for her child.
13. Big Numbers are Big!
And sometimes dogs are brown.
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14. Your Child Does Not Approve of Your Life Choices.
But this is pretty funny.
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15. Ouch
An epic burn stings a little extra when it comes from a 9-year-old.
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16. How Do You Answer Such a Question?
Most of us would say, "Yes."
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17. Friendship
Preschool or kindergarten is when things change.
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18. There Are Three Kinds of People
Which one are you?
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19. Oh Dear.
Not a very optimistic kiddo, eh?
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20. Lessons from Children!
Keep that in mind for next time, Dad.
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21. Dramatic Kids are the Best!
You'll always get a good laugh with them.
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22. Uh-Oh!
Someone's been talking to his friends with divorced parents.
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23. Too Bad, So Sad.
I've got plenty.
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24. I'm Sorry, But...
Every good apology includes a "but."
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25. I Have So Many Questions.
I need the backstory to this tweet.
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26. Well, He's Not Wrong.
I mean he is wrong, but don't you kind of wish he wasn't?
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27. Well...
Do you wonder where he heard this first?
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28. I Like the Way This Kid Thinks.
I don't want to see their bill from the plumber, though.
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29. "I Know."
Words that sting.
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30. Have All Your Questions Been Answered?
Because Mommy can't take any more.
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31. Kids Keep Things Interesting!
I'm dying to know where the wrong place is.
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32. A Pair of Troublemakers.
Well, one has solutions...
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Want more family chaos, like the parent siding with a son over weekend sleepovers? Sibling Rivalry Over Weekend Sleepovers.
