Reserved Lady Gives Her Brutally Honest Feedback About Group She Was In, Gets Banned Despite Having Quitted

A 28-year-old woman joined a workout group expecting the usual, good vibes and adults showing up to train. Instead, she kept noticing that the gatherings came with a revolving door of kids, and it quietly started killing the fun for her.

Here’s where it got messy: she did the polite thing and tried to explain it to the organizer after she decided she wasn’t coming back. The woman pushed for details, got them, and somehow turned an honest “this isn’t for me” into a reason to ban OP, even though OP had already quit.

Now OP is stuck wondering how “I’m looking for adults” turned into a full-on firing moment.

The OP begins her story

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The OP thought it was just a fluke and maybe her babysitter had fallen through

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Constantly having children there to mind was taking away some of the enjoyment for the OP

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OP thought it was a one-off babysitting problem, but the kids kept showing up at the same gatherings.

The dynamics of group interactions often turn feedback into a double-edged sword.

And the comments roll in...

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Free of them for a bit

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You can't quit, you're fired

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When the organizer asked why OP didn’t return, OP finally said what she actually wanted, adults only, and the conversation didn’t land.

Studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlight that group dynamics can significantly influence how feedback is given and received.

When feedback is perceived as harsh or unjust, it can lead to conflict and feelings of alienation.

This underscores the importance of constructive feedback in fostering healthy group interactions.

It's not for you if it's not for you

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The OP shares exactly what she told the woman

When she first asked why I didn't come back and if anyone had made me uncomfortable, I told her that I enjoyed everyone in the group but that it just wasn't a good fit for what I was looking for, although I thought she had a good thing going. She pushed a bit, and after some back and forth, I told her I was looking for a group of adults, and I found that there were often multiple children at the gatherings. She asked why that was a problem, and I told her it wasn't a problem; it just wasn't something I was interested in when participating in a workout group.

This echoes the “Travel Club” mess when a friend excluded OP from vacation plans, then pushed a consolation group in Friend Excluded Me from Vacation Plans, AITA for Refusing to Join Their Travel Club?.

They'd prefer the company of adults

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She was AH with her response

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After the back and forth, OP told her it was not that the kids were “bad,” it was that the workout group was not what OP signed up for.

Research shows that groups that practice providing supportive and constructive criticism tend to achieve better outcomes.

In this scenario, the group could benefit from establishing norms around feedback to ensure that it is given and received positively.

The OP only answered honestly

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The OP was banned from a group she quit from

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She shouldn't have reached out

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Even after OP quit, the organizer still went nuclear and banned her, proving the feedback was never the point.

Moreover, creating an environment where members feel safe to share their opinions can lead to healthier group dynamics.

By implementing these practices, groups can mitigate defensiveness and cultivate a more inclusive atmosphere.

Many Redditors felt the group leader lashed out because she is either friends with the woman who brings her kids or she's angry because other women have dropped out of the group for similar reasons. But even if we pretend that having kids around isn't annoying for many, they walk at a slow pace, which defeats part of the purpose of the activity completely.

The OP was declared not the AH, and that's a wrap.

Group bans can be detrimental to individuals and overall group dynamics.

The incident involving the reserved lady highlights the significant impact of feedback and group dynamics on interpersonal relationships.

The workout group didn’t just lose a member, it punished someone for being honest about wanting adults.

After friends mocked your trip idea, see how Reddit handled the last-minute invite dilemma in Friends Mockery Leads to Last-Minute Trip Dilemma.