Redditors Are In Favor Of This Honest Mom's Response To Her Daughter After Being Betrayed By Her Husband And Bestfriend

Marriages do not always go well for everyone. It is either a lifetime, long term, or a short term experience for couples.

Cheating is one of the most common reasons for failed marriages. When a man or woman betrays his or her partner for another person, and this destroys trust, peace, and happiness within the relationship.

Aside from cheating, there are other reasons that might be within or outside the couple's relationship. Still, when this happens, the consequences of failed marriages can affect everyone in the family.

These can include lack of time and communication, problems among in-laws, financial reasons, abuse, and other issues that might be overlooked at first, but eventually became a bigger problem. This is why couples are advised to take counseling sessions for them to know how to handle problems and keep their relationships at best.

However, many instances that when a marriage doesn't work out and one of the couples or both of them choose to remarry, they create a blended type of family. With their children from their previous marriage and their current one, they might have co-parenting setup with previous partners, and children can choose which parent they wanted to stay with.

Like what happened to this Reddit user's family as she shared how their marriage failed because her husband and her best friend betrayed her. She posted her concern if she was wrong for telling her daughter that she doesn't feel okay for calling her ex-best friend her "mom", but doesn't forbid her from doing so.

How her bestfriend became her children's stepmom.

Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

Their current family setup.

Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

Her genuine answer to her daughter's question.

"I told her that no, I am not ok with that woman being called "mom", but she could call her that if she wanted to. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean she doesn't have to do it."Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

The Impact of Betrayal on Trust

Experiencing betrayal from a partner or close friend can have profound effects on an individual's psychological well-being. Research indicates that betrayal can trigger feelings of abandonment and insecurity, which may lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth. The emotional aftermath often involves a struggle to rebuild trust, not just in others but in oneself.

According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher and author, "Rebuilding trust takes time and requires open communication. It’s essential for individuals to express their feelings honestly to foster healing." She emphasizes that couples who engage in transparent discussions about their emotions can gradually restore the emotional safety needed for a healthy relationship. This highlights the importance of patience and the need for professional support in navigating such emotional upheavals.

The mom being fair to her kids.

I have an honest policy with my kids, I am always open and honest with them. Just because I do not personally like something they do, doesn't mean I don't let them do it. Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

Both of them are at fault.

"I blame both. I got betrayed by 2 people. 1 a husband and 1 a sister."Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

A different level of betrayal.

Reddit/ Afraid_Assignment_97

Understanding the psychological dynamics at play in relationships influenced by betrayal can be informed by attachment theory. According to Dr. Mary Ainsworth's research, individuals with secure attachment styles often cope better with relationship conflicts, while those with anxious or avoidant styles may struggle significantly (Ainsworth et al., 1978). This can manifest in various ways, such as excessive clinginess or withdrawal from emotional engagement, complicating recovery from betrayal.

Couples therapy focused on attachment styles can provide valuable insights and tools for individuals to navigate these complex emotional landscapes. Research suggests that interventions aimed at enhancing emotional responsiveness and understanding can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and stability over time.

#1 An explanation would be enough for them to understand.

Reddit/ Primary-Criticism929

#2 You handled it gracefully.

Reddit/ Alarmed-Hamster-4047

#3 Your kids are old enough.

Reddit/ Icy-Cherry-8143

The Role of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) plays a crucial role in how individuals respond to relational betrayals. High levels of emotional intelligence can enable individuals to manage their emotions more effectively, fostering resilience in the face of conflict. As Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, states, "Emotional intelligence allows us to navigate the complexities of our feelings and the feelings of others, especially during challenging times." Those with higher EQ tend to demonstrate better conflict resolution skills and can articulate their feelings without resorting to blame or defensiveness, promoting healthier dialogues.

Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection can enhance emotional intelligence, according to Dr. Shawn Achor, a positive psychology researcher, who notes, "Mindfulness helps us to pause and reflect on our emotional responses, which is essential for developing empathy." Engaging in activities that promote emotional learning, such as journaling or therapy, can be beneficial for those looking to improve their emotional intelligence.

#4 Irrelevant and weird excuse.

Reddit/ most_dope_kid

#5 They might have said something to your daughter so she'd get mad at you.

Reddit/ Unit-Healthy

#6 Just stop talking to your former mother-in-law.

Reddit/ Proud_World_6241

Research indicates that betrayal can lead to a significant decline in mental health, with individuals experiencing symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in severe cases (Scher et al., 2008). The emotional pain of betrayal can trigger the same neural pathways as physical pain, leading to intense feelings of hurt and distress. Recognizing this can normalize the feelings of anguish that follow such experiences.

Therapeutic practices, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), have been shown to be effective in addressing the emotional fallout of betrayal. By helping individuals reframe their thoughts and beliefs about the situation, CBT can aid in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression, providing a pathway to healing and recovery.

#7 That is offensive.

Reddit/ WantsAllTheJerbz

#8 Never let them trespass your mom territory.

Reddit/ Main_Caterpillar_338

#9 The grandmother is definitely using her.

Reddit/ unknown_928121

The Importance of Support Systems

In the aftermath of betrayal, social support plays a critical role in the healing process. Research by Taylor et al. (2004) emphasizes that individuals who have access to supportive friends and family are more likely to recover from emotional trauma. This support can manifest as emotional validation, practical help, or simply the presence of someone who listens and understands.

Joining support groups or engaging in community activities can also offer a sense of belonging and normalcy during these challenging times. Mental health professionals often recommend that individuals seek out supportive environments where they can share their experiences and feelings, as this can significantly mitigate feelings of isolation and despair.

#10 You only gave what was asked from you.

Reddit/ _raq_

#11 Honesty is still the best policy.

Reddit/ Fabulous-Housing102

#12 Kindness won't change the roles and relationships in the family.

Reddit/ MarzipanMore4015

One of the key psychological concepts relevant to betrayal is cognitive dissonance, which refers to the mental discomfort experienced when holding two conflicting beliefs or values. In the context of betrayal, individuals may struggle with feelings of love for the betrayer alongside feelings of hurt and anger. This internal conflict can lead to confusion and prolonged emotional distress (Festinger, 1957).

To address cognitive dissonance, individuals can benefit from engaging in reflective practices that promote self-awareness and clarify their values and needs. Therapy focused on understanding these conflicting feelings can help individuals reconcile their emotions and move towards a more coherent self-perception.

#13 They betrayed you.

Reddit/ Illustrious-Band-537

#14 It seems like she's been influenced by someone.

Reddit/ Gassyhippo

#15 Never asked her to do something like that.

Reddit/ MooseValuable3158

Moving Forward: The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a complex emotional process that can be essential for healing after betrayal. Research suggests that forgiving can lead to psychological benefits such as reduced anxiety, depression, and a greater sense of peace (Maltby et al., 2001). However, it is crucial to understand that forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior but rather letting go of the negative emotions associated with it.

Engaging in forgiveness interventions, such as those developed by Dr. Fred Luskin, can provide structured approaches for individuals seeking to move past their hurt. These interventions often involve reframing the betrayal as an opportunity for personal growth and healing, fostering resilience and emotional strength.

#16 Your crown isn't even crooked.

Reddit/ nityjalapeno

#17 This was not your daughter's idea.

Reddit/ Cocoasneeze

#18 It is not confusing, but natural.

Reddit/ EvilPsychoanalysis

Finally, the importance of self-care cannot be overstated during the healing process from betrayal. Studies show that engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies, can significantly improve emotional resilience and overall well-being (Pressman et al., 2009). These activities provide a necessary break from rumination and can enhance mood and promote feelings of self-efficacy.

Creating a self-care plan that includes regular check-ins with oneself can help individuals maintain their mental health while navigating the emotional complexities of betrayal. This proactive approach ensures that emotional needs are met, paving the way for a healthier recovery journey.

#19 Don't back down, ignore the rest.

Reddit/ Emergency-Aardvark-6

#20 You former mother-in-law should mind her own business.

Reddit/ Saraqael_Rising

When marriages fail, it is always the children who will be most affected by the separation. Some children can probably understand why their parents choose to get divorced, but some don't.

It's up to the parents on how they'll be able to do their duties and responsibilities for their children even if they're no longer together. Honesty and open communication will help in maintaining their relationships with each other even in complicated family setups.

Psychological Analysis

This mom's behavior likely stems from a desire to maintain honesty in her relationship with her child, despite the painful context. By expressing her feelings but still allowing her daughter to make her own choices, she's demonstrating emotional intelligence and respect for her child's autonomy. Such open communication can foster a sense of safety and trust, even in challenging circumstances.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Recommendations

In summary, the emotional landscape following betrayal is intricate and deeply personal, often requiring a multifaceted approach to healing. Clinical research underscores the importance of addressing both the emotional and cognitive aspects of the experience, with strategies ranging from enhancing emotional intelligence to practicing forgiveness. Engaging in supportive therapies and self-care practices can significantly improve recovery outcomes, fostering resilience and emotional growth.

Ultimately, the journey of healing from betrayal is not a linear path, but with professional support, self-reflection, and the cultivation of healthy coping strategies, individuals can emerge stronger and more self-aware, capable of forming healthier relationships in the future.