30 Deeply Hurtful Comments From Parents That Left A Lasting Impact, Shared Online
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Some parents don’t just say hurtful things, they drop them like truth bombs and walk away like nothing happened. In this thread, people described comments that landed so deep they still feel it years later.
One mom watched her kid almost drown, then told her they should have left OP in the pond. Another mom, during what was supposed to be a moment of connection, snapped “you can’t even laugh right,” basically turning joy into something OP should be ashamed of. And then there’s the dad who, out of nowhere, called his daughter’s career a charity case, even though he’s usually supportive.
These are not random insults, they are the kind that rewrite how you see yourself.
Not all parents are loving
Pexels1. Mother's cruel words severed our bond
My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years
Ilookbetterthanyou2. The pain of being told "You can't even laugh right" by a loved one
"you can't even laugh right"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong
BlindEditor
Comments made by parents can have lasting effects on children's self-esteem and emotional well-being. Negative remarks can lead to internalized feelings of inadequacy that persist into adulthood. Children often internalize their parents' criticisms, which can shape their self-concept and affect their relationships later in life.
This aligns with attachment theory, where early interactions with caregivers set the foundation for emotional regulation and self-worth. Understanding these dynamics can help parents become more mindful of their language and its potential impact on their children's development.
The Lasting Impact of Parental Comments
Comments made by parents can leave indelible marks on a child's self-esteem and emotional health.
Negative comments can create lasting emotional scars, shaping how individuals view themselves and their worth.
The Lasting Impact of Hurtful Comments
Research in developmental psychology highlights that negative comments from parents can leave a lasting imprint on a child's self-esteem and self-worth.
Understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering healthier communication in families.
3. Dad's surprising criticism
My dad, very recently, told me (33F) that "I don't have a career and that I was only hired as a charity case". The hardest part is that my dad is normally really supportive and kind and this was not said in anger.I am a project mgr at a real estate development company that my FIL owns. I have a university degree in a related field (landscape architecture and urban planning) & project mgmt experience from a previous job. I never planned on working for my FIL.I am getting paid about 1/2 of what I could be making if I worked for another company.I am sticking it out because my husband and his brothers deserve to inherit the company (their dad uses the inheritance as a way to control them and they have put in so, so much free labour despite never being paid by the company & working FT in completely separate careers). I'm worried my FILs semi-recent drinking habit, mixed with his unrelenting narcissism is going to lead to him squandering the business so I'm staying to keep tabs on it.I know no one is going to read this. It still feels good to get off my chest.
bun_times_two
4. Proving success beyond expectations
I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, "we never thought you could finish." I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.
sam_the_beagle
5. Mother's hurtful response to an assault
My mother said lots of things like that. I'll just talk about one of the most memorable. While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me. He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.
Icy-Veterinarian942
The pond story is the kind of cruelty that makes it hard to believe it was ever a “one-off,” especially after OP tried to save their little brother.
Strategies such as positive reinforcement and open communication can foster a healthier emotional environment, allowing children to develop a secure sense of self.
Such remarks often stem from parents' own unresolved issues and stress, which can inadvertently affect their children.
The psychological concept of emotional neglect underscores the importance of supportive and affirming communication in child development.
When children receive hurtful comments, they may develop feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness, which can persist into adulthood.
Research shows that these patterns often manifest as maladaptive behaviors in relationships, perpetuating cycles of low self-esteem.
6. A Mother's weight comment that echoes forever
“You’re not skinny.”My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head. Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.
EonOfTheNightingale
7. Conquering the fear of becoming an abusive parent
She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.
rot_grl
8. Devastating criticism
“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.
foppishyyy
The Long-Term Effects of Hurtful Comments
Hurtful comments can have profound and lasting consequences. A study from the University of California, Berkeley, found that individuals who experienced negative parental comments in childhood were more likely to report higher levels of anxiety and depression in adulthood.
This highlights the importance of creating a supportive home environment where open dialogue and positive affirmations are encouraged. Parents are advised to practice active listening and validate their children's feelings, which can significantly enhance emotional health and resilience.
The language parents use profoundly influences children's emotional development.
Parents play a critical role in shaping a child's self-esteem and emotional resilience.
9. The lasting impact of a hurtful comment on a young poet's self-expression
In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.
thepalebeast91
10. "What did I do to deserve a fat kid."
Silosolo
11. Heartbreaking response to grieving child's expression of loss
Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. "You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I'll chain you to his gravestone!"
LowRentSinatra
Then the tone shifts to something quieter but still brutal, when OP’s mom corrected their laughter instead of sharing the moment.
Moreover, the concept of emotional intelligence plays a critical role in mitigating the effects of negative comments.
Encouraging parents to adopt more positive communication strategies can help mitigate the impact of negative comments.
That “your joy is wrong” vibe hits close to the OP who finally spoke up after family criticism wrecked their relationships.
Understanding the impact of negative comments can empower individuals to break the cycle of emotional pain.
Therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals reframe their self-perceptions and counteract the effects of past criticism.
Research indicates that challenging negative beliefs can lead to improved mental health outcomes.
12. A teen's battle with depression met with cruelty
When I was 14, and struggling with depression. "You're just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you"
quasiMortal
13. Hurtful words and broken expectations
There are so many things I really don’t remember most of them…Once my stepmom called me a lying sneaking little s**t bc she thought I stole her melatonin, when she just used it all and forgot ab it.But the thing that I think about a lot is my dad once when I was like 10-12. I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember him poking me in the chest with enough force to knock me down, he said “you’re such a piece of s**t, I can’t wait until I get to kick you out” and spat in my face as I was laying on the ground.That was the man who was supposed to be Superman to me. I was supposed to sit on his shoulders to see a parade or something.
BOOPERS4343
14. A Mother's hurtful ccomment ignites drive and resilience
Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said: “Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.” It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.
kap1tein
Healing from Hurtful Comments
Individuals who have experienced hurtful comments from parents can benefit from therapeutic interventions that focus on healing and self-acceptance.
Therapies that incorporate self-compassion practices can help individuals reframe negative self-perceptions and build resilience.
Strategies for Healing from Hurtful Comments
Developing self-compassion is essential for healing from the impact of hurtful comments.
15. Crushed dreams
Chiya77
16. Impactful childhood words
When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat” Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.
SpiderPubes
17. Painful self-worth shattered by parent's cruelty
I’m a waste of sperm apparently. Not sure what else they’re doing with their sperm but.. ok.
TooYoungToBeThisOld1
That “joy is wrong” comment hits differently because it’s the same parent-child space where trust is supposed to grow, not shrink.
Additionally, cognitive-behavioral approaches can assist individuals in challenging and changing negative thought patterns that stem from childhood experiences.
Seeking therapy or support groups can provide individuals with a safe space to process their experiences and feelings.
18. A parental voice silencing emotions
Oldmanbabydog
19. Father's mathematical prowess shatters my confidence
My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn't. Finally he said "You once were intelligent, that's long gone." starting a monologue about how dumb I am.I was 13 at the time. In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn't really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most - except math.
floutsch
20. Unforgettable childhood remark
I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Firm-Ad-3984
Encouraging open dialogue between parents and children can help prevent the long-term impact of hurtful comments.
Encouraging open communication within families can mitigate the effects of negative comments.
21. Healing from hurtful labels and finding my voice
MachineSpecialist582
22. Pain of loneliness
I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was "if you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror".
Responsible_Fly_3565
23. Devastating herpes diagnosis met with judgement from mormon parents
Through an unfortunate event, I contracted herpes right before I went home on Spring Break. I was naïve and had no sex ed so I didn't know what was going on and I was super sick with a 104.5°F fever. I had to tell my parents. My mom called me a whore. Will never forget that. Thanks mom.Note: they're mormon
montagne__verte
And just when you think it can’t get worse, OP’s dad tells her she’s not really qualified, framing her career like she was only hired for charity.
Parents can facilitate this by actively listening and validating their children's emotions, creating an environment where children feel safe to share their thoughts.
Ultimately, developing strong communication skills can empower both parents and children to navigate emotional challenges together.
Promoting empathy and understanding within the family unit lays the groundwork for healthier emotional development.
Practicing active listening is crucial in fostering healthy family dynamics.
Creating an atmosphere of acceptance can significantly improve family relationships and emotional health.
24. Betrayed by my own mother
My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me
Discarded_Pariah
25. “You will never amount to anything in life”
typicalcAnAdAiAn
26. “Don’t be so sensitive.”
arst1007
27. A mother's blunt revelation leaves siblings disheartened
Not really an insult:My brothers and sister lived out in Utah, we are live outside of Cincinnati. My mom, dad and myself drove to Utah because my sister was getting married.The first night of being settled in, we went out to dinner with my older brother's fiance and her family. My oldest brother was there with his wife, and my sister was there with her fiance. Again, we were there for my sister, yet the first night we were there, going to dinner with my older brother and his soon to be wife and in-laws took priority.We are sitting at this restaurant, and my mom straight up blurted out my older brother is her favorite child. My oldest brother, my sister and I just looked at each other just like slowly nodding going like ... "No s**t, mom. We know. Doesn't make it okay for you to say it out loud, though."
mothershipq
28. Finding humor in the pain
My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.
AwareFaithlessness39
29. Criticism
"Don't be so simple""Do you think that looks good?""You're a slob""You're lazy""Stop, you are doing it wrong. Just go away""You lack motivation""You're wasting your potential"
SparklyAce
30. Lingering memories of hurtful comments from parents
"You sound like a pig under a gate." I was ~10 and working to expand my vocal range. To this day, I stop singing when others are aroundThe one that lives rent free though is, "now, find someone else to take care of you." Thanks for the help, I guess.
SatanicSunflower
The heartfelt stories shared by individuals in the online community serve as a powerful reminder of the deep emotional impact that hurtful words from parents can have. These accounts highlight the need for empathy, understanding, and open communication within families.
By recognizing the immense power of their words and cultivating a loving and supportive environment, parents can humanize their interactions and positively shape their children's self-esteem and resilience. It is essential to remember that behind every story lies a person with unique experiences and emotions, and by being mindful of our words, we can foster an atmosphere of acceptance, encouragement, and growth.
Let us strive to humanize our connections, nurture meaningful relationships, and uplift one another, creating a world where the wounds of hurtful words can be healed with kindness, compassion, and understanding.
The article highlights how deeply hurtful comments from parents can leave indelible marks on their children, affecting self-esteem and emotional well-being long into adulthood. The shared experiences reveal a troubling reality where the very individuals meant to nurture and uplift can inadvertently inflict lasting pain.
These anecdotes illustrate a critical need for positive communication and emotional support within families. By examining the specific comments that linger in the minds of those affected, we can see the profound impact of words and the importance of creating an environment that fosters understanding and compassion.
Addressing the roots of this emotional pain, as shown in the stories shared, is essential for healing and building healthier relationships. Recognizing the flaws in parental communication can pave the way for improved self-worth and emotional resilience in the next generation.
The article highlights the profound psychological impact that hurtful comments from parents can have on their children, illustrating how these remarks can shape self-esteem and emotional health long into adulthood. As readers reflect on the deeply personal experiences shared online, it becomes evident that the words of parents, often taken for granted, carry significant weight.
While the emotional scars from negative comments can be lasting, the article also suggests that fostering a culture of positive communication and open dialogue within families can act as a counterbalance. By encouraging supportive interactions, parents can help their children build resilience, paving the way for healthier emotional development.
This narrative serves as a crucial reminder that nurturing environments are not just beneficial but essential for the emotional well-being of future generations. The consequences of our words can echo throughout a child's life, underscoring the importance of mindful communication in parent-child relationships.
The revelations shared in the article highlight the significant toll that hurtful comments from parents can have on a child's emotional landscape. As the anecdotes illustrate, what may seem like benign remarks to an adult can leave deep emotional scars on a child's developing psyche. This underscores the necessity for parents to reflect on their words and the weight they carry. By prioritizing positive communication and emotional awareness, families can begin to dismantle the legacy of painful comments and cultivate a nurturing environment that promotes emotional resilience. The journey towards healthier familial relationships starts with a conscious effort to choose words that uplift rather than wound.
The family didn’t just hurt them once, it reshaped how they survived everything after.
For more on shutting down parents who compare you to your siblings, read this post about setting boundaries after unfair sibling comparisons.
