Exhausted Mom Cries Out As Her Husband Has An Addiction Problem And She Doesn't Know How Long She Can Endure It

Addiction is a chronic illness that can impact your relationships, employment, physical and mental health, and many other areas of your life. However, addiction can be managed if the person is willing to try.

That is why seeking assistance as soon as possible is essential. One must be aware that it is not a lack of willpower or poor decision-making that leads to addiction, as it causes a chemical alteration in the brain.

Similar to other substances, alcohol has a strong neurochemical effect on the brain that amplifies positive emotions and eliminates unpleasant ones. These emotions can drive some people to repeatedly use alcohol despite the consequences for their health and well-being.

Alcohol addiction is what the OP's husband suffers from. They have been together for 12 years and married for 10.

They have two small children, and for many years now, OP's husband has supported her in going back to school to become a lawyer. The OP is doing the best she can between work, school, and being an amazing mommy and wife, but her husband isn't helping matters.

He had a drinking addiction but later got help. They did counseling, and he stopped drinking except on Friday and Saturday nights, either at home or with their friends, but it didn't stop there.

The full story is right below, so keep scrolling and check it out.

The OP writes

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Their past has been extremely rocky as OP's husband has cheated on her at least two times that she's aware of

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OP's husband had a gambling addiction and was blowing his whole paychecks

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Understanding Addiction's Impact on Relationships

Dr. Alan Carter, a licensed substance abuse counselor, emphasizes that addiction often creates significant strain on relationships.

Research shows that partners of individuals with addiction frequently experience feelings of helplessness and distress, leading to conflicts and emotional disconnection.

Understanding these dynamics is essential for both partners to navigate the challenges of addiction.

Understanding Addiction and Its Effects on Relationships

Addiction is a complex issue that can deeply impact family dynamics and relationships.

Research indicates that partners of individuals struggling with addiction often experience heightened stress and feelings of helplessness.

Dr. Judith Grisel, a psychology expert, emphasizes that addiction is often rooted in emotional pain and unresolved trauma, complicating the recovery process.

Understanding Addiction Dynamics

The emotional turmoil experienced by the exhausted mom dealing with her husband's addiction sheds light on the complexities of addiction and its impact on family dynamics. Dr. Rachel Green, a clinical psychologist specializing in addiction at Johns Hopkins, explains that addiction often creates a cycle of emotional distress for family members, leading to feelings of helplessness and despair. Her research shows that family members often find themselves caught between love and the desire for self-preservation.

This internal conflict can be overwhelming, leading to questions about whether to stay in the relationship or seek a healthier environment.

OP's husband did start seeing a gambling counselor and got a second job to help with the bills

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Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say regarding the story

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The OP should just leave

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According to studies published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, partners of individuals dealing with addiction often face unique challenges, including codependency and emotional burnout.

This research highlights the importance of establishing boundaries and seeking support to maintain one's emotional health.

Recognizing these patterns can facilitate healthier interactions and decisions.

Studies show that couples counseling can be beneficial in addressing the relational issues that arise from addiction.

By fostering open communication and understanding, partners can develop strategies to support recovery while also tending to their emotional needs.

Dr. Patrick Carnes’ work in the field of addiction emphasizes the importance of mutual support in the recovery journey.

Studies in family psychology indicate that the presence of addiction can lead to significant relational strain. A recent study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology highlights that family members of individuals with addiction often experience heightened levels of stress and anxiety, impacting their emotional well-being. The decision to leave or stay is often accompanied by guilt and fear of the unknown, complicating the emotional landscape.

For those in similar situations, seeking professional support can provide clarity and guidance in navigating these challenging decisions.

He's a thief and an addict

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The OP shares some more details in the comments

I shouldn't have to live my life like that, controlling every single dollar and cent that comes into the house. I don't mind being in control of finances, but why can't I just be in a relationship where it's okay to allow my partner to run to the bank to grab $20 instead of being terrified he is going to take $200 or $2000. He is a good dad, and he treats me well in that he isn't abusive or anything, and my kids adore their dad, so that is part of the reason I have stayed for so long because it's comfortable for everyone.

The OP's smarter than this

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OP's children are not safe from this

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Developing Healthy Boundaries

Therapists often recommend that individuals affected by a partner's addiction work on establishing clear boundaries.

This approach can help protect one's emotional well-being and prevent feelings of resentment.

Additionally, seeking support from groups like Al-Anon can provide valuable resources for coping with these challenges.

The Emotional Toll of Living with Addiction

Living with someone who has an addiction can lead to significant emotional distress for the partner.

Psychologists note that feelings of isolation and frustration are common, as partners often feel they are navigating the situation alone.

Research published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment indicates that support groups can provide invaluable resources for partners of individuals struggling with addiction.

Developing Healthy Boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial when dealing with a partner's addiction. Dr. Samantha Lee, a family therapist, emphasizes that clear boundaries can help protect the emotional health of family members while also encouraging the individual struggling with addiction to seek help. Her research indicates that boundaries can create a framework within which both partners can navigate the complexities of addiction without losing sight of their own needs.

In situations like this, engaging in support groups or therapy can provide essential tools for developing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

It's time the OP moves on

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Making it work for the kids

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Scared of a new beginning

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Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that individuals in codependent relationships can benefit significantly from therapy focused on self-care and boundary-setting.

By prioritizing their own needs, partners can create a healthier dynamic and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

This process can ultimately lead to more constructive interactions.

To cope effectively, experts recommend that partners engage in self-care practices and seek support from friends, family, or support groups.

Establishing boundaries is also crucial in maintaining one’s mental health while supporting a loved one through recovery.

Participating in therapy can further provide tools to manage the emotional challenges associated with living with addiction.

A deceitful alcoholic who also gambles away his salary is a lot to deal with. Many Redditors believe that he is a wild card who is prepared to give up everything to support his routines, thereby causing instability and jeopardizing the safety of their children, who deserve stability.

OP was advised to take him out of the picture entirely, but what do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates the profound emotional conflict faced by partners of individuals with addiction. The struggle between love and self-preservation is a common theme, making it essential for individuals to seek support as they navigate their feelings. Establishing boundaries and prioritizing personal well-being can be key in managing these complicated dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating the complexities of addiction within a relationship requires understanding, support, and the establishment of healthy boundaries. Family members must prioritize their emotional well-being while encouraging the individual with addiction to seek help. As noted by Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher and author, "Creating a supportive environment is essential for recovery for both the individual and their loved ones." It is crucial for families to foster open communication and seek professional guidance to navigate these challenging dynamics.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the emotional toll that addiction can take on relationships and the importance of mutual understanding and support.

It's essential for both partners to seek support and communicate openly about their feelings and needs during this challenging time.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing the complexities of addiction and its impact on relationships is essential for long-term recovery and emotional well-being.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, emphasizes that “the quality of the friendship in a relationship is the most important factor in its success,” which highlights the need for open communication and mutual support during recovery. For more insights, visit the Gottman Institute.

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for individuals in relationships affected by addiction.

Studies show that maintaining one’s mental health and well-being can significantly improve relational dynamics.

Engaging in activities that promote personal fulfillment can help partners cope with the challenges of addiction.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the intense emotional turmoil faced by partners of individuals with addiction.

When one partner struggles with addiction, it can lead to feelings of isolation and distress, making it crucial for both partners to seek support and guidance.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating a relationship impacted by addiction requires clear boundaries and a strong focus on self-care.

Research indicates that prioritizing emotional health can lead to healthier interactions and better outcomes for both partners.