Husband Threatens Divorce Because Wife Gained 60 Pounds After Having A Baby and Constantly Criticizes Her

"I know I don’t have the ideal body right now; I’m trying to get there."

In a world where being a mom often comes with its own set of problems and expectations, one woman (32F) finds herself struggling after having two babies in quick succession. Trying to lose the extra baby weight, she's dealing with a husband (32M) who isn't supportive and is emotionally abusive, going so far as to threaten divorce.

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With two little ones to look after, she's working hard to get back in shape while being a full-time mom. She's battling her own feelings about her body and just wants to feel good about herself again.

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However, her husband's constant criticism and body-shaming are taking a toll on her. He's always putting her down for not meeting certain weight standards, criticizing her choice of clothes, and even telling her what she can and can't wear.

He uses the threat of divorce as a weapon during their arguments, all while still expecting physical intimacy. This woman, who used to be confident, now feels like she's lost herself.

She's afraid of what a divorce might mean for custody of their children, and she's stuck in a damaging cycle of emotional abuse. This story is a deep dive into the struggles of body image, self-esteem, and what happens in a toxic relationship.

OP's fight to deal with this tough situation shows how important it is to seek help, find strength within yourself, and face unhealthy relationships head-on. Just take a look at the original post...

OP has been on a mission to shed the 60 pounds she gained during her second pregnancy after a planned break following her initial 50-pound pregnancy weight gain.

OP has been on a mission to shed the 60 pounds she gained during her second pregnancy after a planned break following her initial 50-pound pregnancy weight gain.Reddit
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Despite struggling with body image after her pregnancies, she's persistently working to lose the remaining 20 pounds from her second pregnancy, with plans to continue toward a more comfortable and confident body.

Despite struggling with body image after her pregnancies, she's persistently working to lose the remaining 20 pounds from her second pregnancy, with plans to continue toward a more comfortable and confident body.Reddit
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Amidst full-time parenting of two young children, she's striving to better herself despite her husband's constant criticism, yearning for support and encouragement along the way.

Amidst full-time parenting of two young children, she's striving to better herself despite her husband's constant criticism, yearning for support and encouragement along the way.Reddit

Exploring Body Image and Relationship Dynamics

This scenario highlights the significant impact of body image on relationships. Research shows that body dissatisfaction can lead to emotional distress and relational conflict, particularly when one partner expresses criticism of the other's appearance.

According to findings from the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, critical comments about weight or appearance can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, leading to a cycle of negativity in the relationship.

Her partner's constant weight-related criticism and threats of divorce, even controlling her clothing choices, have left her feeling belittled and trapped in their relationship.

Her partner's constant weight-related criticism and threats of divorce, even controlling her clothing choices, have left her feeling belittled and trapped in their relationship.Reddit

Her partner criticizes her purchases, body, and sexual performance, creating a cycle of emotional turmoil that makes it hard for her to feel desired or sexy in their relationship.

Her partner criticizes her purchases, body, and sexual performance, creating a cycle of emotional turmoil that makes it hard for her to feel desired or sexy in their relationship.Reddit

She's trapped in a damaging relationship, terrified of divorce due to concerns about custody, while yearning for advice and support to regain her lost confidence and self-esteem.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

She's trapped in a damaging relationship, terrified of divorce due to concerns about custody, while yearning for advice and support to regain her lost confidence and self-esteem.Reddit

From a psychological perspective, the husband's behavior may reflect his own insecurities and societal pressures regarding body image. Studies indicate that men, too, can experience dissatisfaction with their partners' bodies, often influenced by cultural ideals of attractiveness.

This dynamic can create further tension, as the wife may internalize these criticisms, leading to decreased self-esteem and increased anxiety about her body image.

A divorce lawyer and child support could be her saving grace from this never-ending drama of a relationship.

A divorce lawyer and child support could be her saving grace from this never-ending drama of a relationship.Reddit

Staying in this toxic situation could lead her children to believe that abuse is normal.

Staying in this toxic situation could lead her children to believe that abuse is normal.Reddit

Absolutely, kids absorb everything, and his body-shaming comments are like a crash course in cruelty. It's time to break the cycle.

Absolutely, kids absorb everything, and his body-shaming comments are like a crash course in cruelty. It's time to break the cycle.Reddit

The Importance of Compassionate Communication

Compassionate communication is crucial in addressing sensitive topics like body image. Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships emphasizes that couples who communicate with empathy and understanding are more likely to maintain healthy relationships.

In this case, the husband might consider expressing his concerns in a more constructive and supportive manner, focusing on health rather than appearance.

Oh, the damage a few hurtful words can do!

Oh, the damage a few hurtful words can do!Reddit

Indeed, she doesn't want her children emulating their father's toxic behavior in their future relationships.

Indeed, she doesn't want her children emulating their father's toxic behavior in their future relationships.Reddit

His degrading comments are a form of domestic abuse.

His degrading comments are a form of domestic abuse.Reddit

To navigate this situation, both partners should engage in open conversations about their feelings regarding body image. Encouraging each other to pursue healthy habits together, rather than focusing on criticism, can foster a supportive environment. Couples therapy can also provide a space for addressing these sensitive issues constructively.

Research suggests that when couples work together on health-related goals, they often report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and emotional connection.

She deserves better; it's time to prioritize herself, seek support, and regain her confidence.

She deserves better; it's time to prioritize herself, seek support, and regain her confidence.Reddit

Love without respect isn't real love.

Love without respect isn't real love.Reddit

She may not be ready for the answer yet, but there's a virtual cheering squad rooting for her, believing in her worth and her journey toward self-love.

She may not be ready for the answer yet, but there's a virtual cheering squad rooting for her, believing in her worth and her journey toward self-love.Reddit

Cultivating Body Positivity in Relationships

Fostering body positivity is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Dr. Linda Bacon's research on health at every size suggests that promoting body acceptance can lead to improved self-esteem and relationship satisfaction.

By encouraging body positivity and self-acceptance, couples can strengthen their emotional bond and mitigate the negative impact of societal pressures on body image.

She deserves better than an unsupportive partner. While she focuses on self-improvement, he should work on being a better spouse.

She deserves better than an unsupportive partner. While she focuses on self-improvement, he should work on being a better spouse.Reddit

She deserves better than the revolting treatment she's enduring from a misogynistic partner.

She deserves better than the revolting treatment she's enduring from a misogynistic partner.Reddit

A judge won't be impressed by her husband's behavior. She should consult a divorce lawyer and provide evidence of the abuse.

A judge won't be impressed by her husband's behavior. She should consult a divorce lawyer and provide evidence of the abuse.Reddit

Call his bluff; realize he's an abuser, not a partner.

Call his bluff; realize he's an abuser, not a partner.Reddit

Her self-worth is non-negotiable.

Her self-worth is non-negotiable.Reddit

Focus on the bigger issue: dealing with an abusive husband who needs a reality check.

Focus on the bigger issue: dealing with an abusive husband who needs a reality check.Reddit

Back-to-back pregnancies aren't a bounce-back sport. Financial support doesn't justify abuse; consider giving him a taste of reality with a divorce ultimatum.

Back-to-back pregnancies aren't a bounce-back sport. Financial support doesn't justify abuse; consider giving him a taste of reality with a divorce ultimatum.Reddit

She should know that the only weight she needs to lose is him.

She should know that the only weight she needs to lose is him.Reddit

Her anger is valid; his behavior is undeniably abusive. It's crucial to consider the impact on her children and realize they are better off without him.

Her anger is valid; his behavior is undeniably abusive. It's crucial to consider the impact on her children and realize they are better off without him.Reddit

Time to deal him a better hand.

Time to deal him a better hand.Reddit

OP deserves better; it's time to leave and find someone who lifts her up, not tears her down.

OP deserves better; it's time to leave and find someone who lifts her up, not tears her down.Reddit

The way he treats her now might come back to haunt him when he needs help in his old age.

The way he treats her now might come back to haunt him when he needs help in his old age.Reddit

Exactly, external appearance means nothing if the inside is rotten.

Exactly, external appearance means nothing if the inside is rotten.Reddit

Financial support doesn't mask his abuse; divorce can bring child support and freedom.

Financial support doesn't mask his abuse; divorce can bring child support and freedom.Reddit

Indeed, he sounds like a true monster, and prioritizing a divorce with full custody for the kids is crucial to protect them from his abuse.

Indeed, he sounds like a true monster, and prioritizing a divorce with full custody for the kids is crucial to protect them from his abuse.Reddit

He's trapped her financially and now thinks he owns her. She deserves better; it's time to break free from this abusive marriage.

He's trapped her financially and now thinks he owns her. She deserves better; it's time to break free from this abusive marriage.Reddit

It's definitely disheartening to see women end up with men who do not deserve them—but we do hope everything ends up well for OP because she honestly deserves better! What are your thoughts on this?

Comment below, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the complexities of body image and its impact on relationships. It's crucial for partners to communicate openly and supportively about body image issues to foster a healthier emotional connection.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing body image issues within relationships requires compassion, understanding, and open communication. Couples should strive to create an environment where both partners feel supported and valued, as supported by research from the Journal of Family Psychology, which emphasizes the importance of emotional safety in relationships.

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