Ignoring Ex-Co-Workers' Texts & Gym Invites: AITA For Setting Boundaries After Encouraging Fitness Journey?

A 22-year-old guy thought the seasonal job was over, but apparently his gym buddy plan was just getting started. After his last day, a 28-year-old coworker began texting him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, like the shift never ended.

It wasn’t just “hey” messages either. This coworker invited him to a sketchy apartment gym, asked him to feed his cat while he was on vacation, and then kept rolling with trip updates, complaints, and even his gym schedule. OP tried to ignore the constant pings, but every non-response seemed to trigger another question, another invite, another “what?”

By the time OP finally drew a hard line, it was already messy.

Original Post

I (22M) recently finished working a seasonal job for a company during the winter season. I worked there 2 months and in that time I guess I left an impression because a co-worker (28M) started texting me almost every day after I put in my last day.Him and I went to his apartment gym to train once. Learning experience #1 It’s a crappy gym and I later on encouraged him to get a membership to my gym.At this point he was texting me almost every day or even multiple times a day. Idk what about that stirred a reaction in me but I felt overwhelmed by all of the messages.Two weeks ago, he asked me to feed his cat while he was away on vacation. He said he would pay and I agreed.Learning experience #2. I did what I needed to do, and left his cat taken care.I like cats. White on vacation, he kept sending me pictures of his trip.He texted me how he hated seeing couples on vacation while he was with his mom. I responded to none of these messages.At this point I felt bad having this dude text me. I never expected a co-worker almost everyday in my dm’s after I left.I didn’t care about his vacation or his complaints. I felt too overwhelmed.He then texted me his gym schedule and I didn’t respond. He texted me again and asked if I wanted to join him to do an exercise that I didn’t plan to do to which I said…”Idk when Im going”.A few days later he texted me again and said he was thinking about pursuing another degree. This time I did respond with…”how do want me to show support”?Learning experience #3 And he responded with “What?” I found his confusion incredibly confusing. He then texted me again and asked if I wanted to join him at the gym and I responded with, “I want to stick with what I’m doing at the gym.Anything else just hurts.” Learning experience #4 And I responded back to his “what?” with “You said you were thinking about pursuing a degree. I dont see how im useful telling that to.” To which he said “wow okay.” in response.We haven’t texted each other since which I see as a positive for both of us moving forward. AITH for ignoring his texts and dismissing his invitations to the gym after I was the one who encouraged him to join?**Edit 1: Points of clarity.** He’s gay. I’m straight.We both knew this about each other. So most se*ual comments he would say I just took as jokes as his way of trying to connect as friends.But there was a moment that went to far for me when he was drunk and high texting me at 2am and i was texting back but not playing into the things he was saying. I could only describe the things he texted as “submissive talk”.Do with that how you see fit. I had to text him “I don’t like you texting me when you’re drunk or high” and he used the apple dislike feature to it.**Edit 2: Epilogue** A few days after he texted "wow okay", he texted me again, "Do you not want me to contact you at all" to which I said, "That works". I don't expect he will text again.

Communication within professional relationships can often be fraught with misunderstandings, especially when expectations are not clearly articulated.

When individuals feel overwhelmed or confused, it can lead to frustration and disengagement, impacting workplace dynamics.

Comment from u/Never-On-Reddit

Comment from u/snizzrizz

The texts ramped up fast after OP stopped showing up for the seasonal job, and the coworker even slid into gym plans and membership suggestions right away.

Being proactive in addressing potential misunderstandings is crucial for maintaining professional relationships.

Comment from u/lonesome_tex

Comment from u/Platypus_Neither

Feeding the cat should have been a one-and-done favor, but the coworker turned it into a whole vacation commentary thread with pictures and jealousy about couples.

Like the pregnant OP hiding cravings from her sisters, you’re weighing privacy vs pressure.

Strategies for Effective Professional Communication

Research shows that establishing norms for communication can enhance understanding and reduce conflicts in the workplace.

Encouraging team members to express their preferences regarding communication channels can also promote a more inclusive environment.

Comment from u/Gcs1110

Comment from u/Smooth_Security4607

When OP didn’t respond to the gym schedule, the coworker escalated from “join me” to pushing an exercise and acting confused about OP’s “I don’t plan to” answers.

Additionally, regular check-ins can provide opportunities for team members to voice concerns and clarify expectations. Research indicates that fostering a culture of openness and feedback can significantly enhance workplace relationships.

Comment from u/Teshi

Comment from u/gobledegerkin

The final crack came when OP told him he wasn’t sure how OP was “useful” supporting his degree idea, and the coworker replied with a blunt “wow okay.”

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Comment from u/uTop-Artichoke5020

In this situation, the Reddit user’s decision to set boundaries with a former colleague illustrates the complexities of maintaining professionalism after leaving a job. The constant barrage of messages from the ex-co-worker could indicate a lack of understanding about personal space and boundaries, which is crucial in post-employment relationships.

By choosing to ignore the persistent gym invites and texts, the user is not only protecting his own mental well-being but is also indirectly highlighting the importance of mutual respect in professional relationships. This case serves as a reminder that fostering an inclusive environment goes beyond the workplace; it extends into how we interact with colleagues after work hours, especially when those lines begin to blur.

Now he’s probably wondering if ignoring texts and gym invites was the real problem.

For a tougher family standoff, see why this person refused to sell the inherited home.