Redditor In Labor Gets Outrageous Request From Her Mom To Postpone Giving Birth So Mom Could Attend Other Daughter's Beauty Pageant

You might have concerns about what to anticipate during and after your pregnancy, whether you're expecting your first child or adding a new family member. You need to learn as much as you can to get ready for "the big day" as your due date approaches.

The truth is that many women simply don't feel well, especially in the beginning or towards the end. The OP in today's story is pregnant with her second child, and it is a big baby.

The OP's obstetrician let her set up induction as she has been having a very difficult third trimester: "A LOT of aches, stretching, lightning crotch, and what I believe is some pregnancy depression, which I haven’t had before."

"Nothing concerning, but sucky all the same," the OP writes. The OP also has a major fear of having to get a c-section, which becomes more likely the longer the baby stays inside of her.

The OP's mom has an incurable disease, and she wanted to be there when the OP delivered, as she wasn't there during her first delivery because of COVID. The problem now is that the OP's younger sister is competing in a large beauty pageant, which happens to land on the same date and time as her induction.

What to do now, as the OP can't stand to be pregnant for another second? Keep scrolling to read the entire story in full.

The headline

u/Reitie22

A lot of aches, stretching, lightning crotch, and what the OP believes is some pregnancy depression

u/Reitie22

I know I’ll want at least a few years between this one and a possible third

u/Reitie22

The Psychological Aspects of Expecting Parents

During labor, expecting parents undergo extreme physical and emotional stress, which can heighten emotional responses. Research from the Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology indicates that stress can lead to increased anxiety, making it harder to navigate external pressures.

When a mother is faced with the request to postpone giving birth, it may trigger feelings of guilt and frustration. Understanding these feelings is essential, as they stem from both the physical demands of labor and the emotional weight of family expectations.

Maternal Expectations During Labor

The request to postpone childbirth for a beauty pageant highlights conflicting familial roles and expectations. Dr. Andrea Smith, a perinatal psychologist, notes that maternal expectations can sometimes overlook the emotional and physical well-being of the expectant mother. Her research shows that societal pressures often lead to guilt or anxiety for mothers when prioritizing their needs over familial obligations.

Such scenarios can create tension, as the mother-to-be may feel torn between familial loyalty and personal health, illustrating the complexities of maternal identity.

The OP is backing out of the initial plan because she's so miserable

u/Reitie22

Here are what other Redditors had to chirp into the OP's story

Reddit

She'll get to see the baby the next day

Reddit

Furthermore, the concept of maternal instinct plays a role here; expecting mothers often feel a strong drive to protect their own needs and their child’s well-being. Studies show that during labor, prioritizing personal health and emotional state can significantly impact maternal and neonatal outcomes.

It’s important for the mother to advocate for herself; recognizing that her needs are paramount during this critical time can help alleviate guilt associated with her decision.

Psychological studies have shown that labor is a time of heightened vulnerability for women, where emotional support plays a critical role. Research published in the Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health indicates that women who feel unsupported during labor may experience increased stress and complications. It's essential that family members recognize the primacy of the mother's needs during this time, as her well-being directly impacts both her and her child's health.

The pressure to fulfill familial roles should never overshadow the critical nature of childbirth.

You're not obligated to have her there

Reddit

You need to choose what is best for you

Reddit

Honesty is the best thing

Reddit

Dealing with External Expectations

Social pressures from family can create additional stress for new parents. Research from Stanford University highlights that societal norms often dictate how we should behave in family roles, potentially leading to conflict when personal needs clash with expectations.

In this case, the mother might benefit from setting boundaries with her family, reinforcing the idea that her health and the health of her baby take precedence over other events. Boundary-setting is a critical skill that can help manage family dynamics effectively.

Navigating Family Pressure During Childbirth

When faced with conflicting demands, it’s helpful for expectant mothers to establish firm boundaries. This can involve communicating openly with family members about the importance of the moment and the need for support rather than competing interests. Utilizing 'I' statements, such as 'I need to focus on my health and my baby's well-being right now,' can help articulate these boundaries without igniting conflict.

Furthermore, research suggests that engaging in prenatal counseling may help women prepare for such pressures, equipping them with strategies to assert their needs effectively.

You shouldn't have to worry about timing

Reddit

This is yours and the baby's health

Reddit

Do not keep this child in your body if...

Reddit

Practicing self-care and stress management techniques can also be helpful. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or even talking with supportive friends can provide essential emotional support during labor.

Studies suggest that engaging in these practices can help mitigate stress and anxiety, leading to a more positive birthing experience.

Moreover, establishing a support system during labor can dramatically affect outcomes. A study in the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing highlights that having a supportive partner or chosen family member present can reduce anxiety and improve birth experiences. Women must feel empowered to choose their support team, prioritizing their comfort and emotional safety during this vulnerable time.

This proactive approach can alleviate some of the stress associated with conflicting family expectations.

Your mother will be the grandma

Reddit

The safety of you and the baby is more important

Reddit

Struggling to process the disappointment

Reddit

The Psychological Impact of Guilt on Expectant Mothers

The guilt associated with prioritizing personal needs over family obligations can be profound. Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist specializing in maternal mental health, explains that this guilt often stems from societal conditioning, where women are taught to prioritize others' needs above their own. Her research emphasizes the importance of self-compassion during such times, suggesting that women learn to appreciate their needs as valid and essential.

Implementing self-care practices, such as mindfulness and positive affirmations, can help mitigate feelings of guilt and foster a healthier mindset.

You need to get that baby out

Reddit

The ripple effects of COVID restrictions

Reddit

It's not the most ridiculous thing in the world

Reddit

Furthermore, understanding the implications of postponing childbirth can have long-term effects on the mother-child bond. Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that maternal stress during pregnancy can impact fetal development and attachment. Thus, it’s vital to recognize that decisions made during this time have far-reaching consequences, emphasizing the need to prioritize the mother’s well-being.

Encouraging family members to understand these implications can foster a more supportive environment.

Do you want someone that selfish?

Reddit

Do what you need to do

Reddit

The biggest priority is the OP's and the baby's health

Reddit

Practical Strategies for Expectant Mothers

To navigate family pressures effectively, expectant mothers can benefit from creating a birth plan that outlines their preferences and needs. Research shows that having a clear plan can empower women and provide a framework for communication with family members. This can include specifying who can be present during labor and what support is needed, reducing the likelihood of conflict during the event.

Additionally, involving a neutral mediator, such as a doula or healthcare provider, can help facilitate conversations about boundaries and expectations, ensuring that the mother's needs are prioritized.

This could also pose health threats for you

Reddit

The jerky sister who stole her sister's thunder

Reddit

This is a health issue, not otherwise

Reddit

Ultimately, the focus must remain on the well-being of both the mother and child. Recognizing that childbirth is not just a family event but a personal milestone can help reframe expectations. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, family members can contribute positively to the mother’s experience, ensuring that both emotional and physical health are prioritized.

Pregnancy is one of the largest high points in the dreams of girls from an early age. Right up until their due dates, some women have good weeks and bad weeks, and their physical and mental health may fluctuate hourly.

Do not panic if you are experiencing pregnancy "blahs"; you are not alone. Share this post with others to get their takes as well.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the significant pressure that expectant mothers often face from family dynamics. From a psychological standpoint, it reflects the conflict between societal expectations and personal health needs. Understanding the importance of prioritizing one's own well-being can greatly enhance the childbirth experience and mitigate feelings of guilt.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating familial pressures during childbirth requires a delicate balance between personal needs and family expectations. Psychological insights highlight the importance of self-advocacy and boundary-setting, which can alleviate stress and promote a healthier birthing experience. Ultimately, prioritizing the mother’s well-being is crucial, as it lays the foundation for a positive maternal-child relationship.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, while family expectations can be challenging, it’s vital for expecting parents to prioritize their own needs and well-being. Research shows that successful navigation of these pressures often leads to healthier outcomes for both mother and baby.

By asserting her needs and establishing clear boundaries, this mother can create a more supportive environment for herself during this significant life event.