Redditors Rally Behind Woman Who Calls Out Friend's Infantilizing Double Standards

People with impairments experience unjust treatment and prejudice. This includes assumptions that they are less capable or intelligent.

It also refers to those who question their adulthood or independence, and this bias is known as ableism. It is critical to oppose ableism and recognize that people with disabilities are equally capable and deserving of respect as everyone else.

We must accept others and avoid judging them based on their impairments. This means that we must establish a fair and equal society for all.

OP, a young adult, has had a lifelong struggle with ASD and mental health issues. Despite OP's accomplishments, she was frequently treated like a child by family and friends.

When a family friend implied that OP wasn't a "real adult" yet, she had to defend herself, pointing out the double standard. Instead of offering support, OP's family chastised her for speaking out.

OP's narrative is a tense and emotional journey of self-advocacy, overcoming ableism, and striving for independence and respect. Each phrase conveys OP's irritation and drive, leaving the reader wondering what will happen next in this passionate exchange.

Will OP's family ever recognize and accept her adulthood, or will the bias and infantilization persist? The story unfolds with a sophisticated examination of ableism, family dynamics, and the complications of growing up. 

The OP writes

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

The OP sometimes comes across as younger because of some facial expressions

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

The Impact of Double Standards on Self-Identity

Double standards, especially in personal relationships, can create significant emotional turmoil. Research published in the Journal of Social Issues suggests that individuals subjected to double standards often experience feelings of inadequacy and resentment.

In this case, the friend's comments about adulthood may reflect an internal struggle with her own expectations of maturity and responsibility, projecting these feelings onto the other person.

The OP has been staying at her parents’ house and enjoying her free time

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

"We are making our own decisions and, for the most part, supporting ourselves"

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

OP has offered the following explanation for why she thinks she might be the AH:

I could have just let that one offhand comment about being “almost an adult” slide, and I generally disengage, but I was feeling on edge that time because I was nervous about work, student debt, etc., and I was dealing with post-graduation depression.My comment did affect her a lot, and she did say that it was worse than what she had said to me, but didn’t say why. I have a history of being argumentative and used to lose my temper easily as a child.

Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

Good on the OP for calling her out

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

A social psychologist from Stanford University explains that the perception of being treated unequally can lead to chronic dissatisfaction in relationships. These feelings often stem from unmet emotional needs and a desire for validation and respect.

In this situation, the woman calling out her friend is asserting her autonomy, which is a crucial step in establishing healthy boundaries and self-respect.

The OP couldn't have just taken it in

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

She was the one who made it an issue

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

Navigating Friendship Dynamics

The dynamics of friendships can be quite complex, particularly when one individual feels infantilized. According to research from the University of Michigan, feeling belittled or treated as less than can erode trust and intimacy in relationships.

In this case, the woman's call-out illustrates her need for recognition and equality, which are fundamental for healthy interactions.

She is not an adult either

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

Leaning into it with sensitivity and caring

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

Establishing boundaries is vital in friendships to ensure mutual respect. Experts recommend using assertive communication strategies to express feelings without escalating conflicts. By articulating her discomfort with the friend's comments, the woman can advocate for her needs while encouraging a more respectful dialogue.

Research indicates that assertive communication can lead to healthier relationships, as it encourages openness and honesty.

Family friend needs to learn the difference

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

The ableist mindset

Reddit/Infantilized-Disable

Redditors applauded the OP for standing up for herself, refusing to be defined by her handicap or treated like an infant by others. After all, it's all about embracing one's maturity, flaws and all, while encouraging others to do the same.

OP's bravery exemplifies the power that comes from facing our shortcomings and speaking truth to bias and ableism. This story serves as a stark reminder that adulthood is all about taking control of our own lives.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the emotional challenges that arise from perceived inequalities in friendships. It's essential for both parties to engage in open dialogue that addresses feelings and expectations, fostering a more supportive and understanding relationship.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Double standards in friendships can lead to significant emotional distress and misunderstandings. Research consistently shows that open communication and boundary-setting are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Ultimately, friends can enhance their connections by recognizing each other's needs and fostering a culture of respect and equality.

Practical Strategies for Healthy Communication

Engaging in reflective listening can improve understanding between friends. Studies show that when individuals feel heard, they are more likely to respond positively to feedback and engage in constructive conversations.

Encouraging the woman to actively listen to her friend's perspective while also expressing her own feelings can foster a more balanced and respectful dialogue.