Is It Appropriate to Host a Playdate for 11 Kids at My Parents' House?

A 29-year-old mom is trying to solve a very specific mom-problem: her son’s friends’ moms all want a big get-together, but it would turn into an 11-kid playdate. That’s four moms, each with multiple kids, and suddenly “casual” sounds like a small-town event planning committee.

OP has two kids, a small suburban house, and zero room for 11 rowdy little humans. Meanwhile, her parents have a huge house with land, the exact kind of place where kids can run, climb trees, and play in the mud. OP’s husband thinks it’s weird, says the other moms will judge it, and insists they should host at their place instead.

Now OP has to decide whether using her parents’ backyard is totally normal, or if she’s about to become the “weird playdate mom” everyone talks about later.

Original Post

Is this weird? I (29F) have 2 kids (6M, 2F).

I’ve become friends with the moms of several of my son’s friends from school. We all have 2-4 kids.

Four of us moms want to get together with all our kids, but that would be 11 kids. I live in a small home in the suburbs.

My parents have a huge house with land. I suggested to my husband (30M) that we host at my parents’ house now and then.

My parents are really good people, and I know that they’re okay with this. He said it would be weird to do that and that it would make me an AH for inviting 11 kids for a casual get-together at my parents' house.

He said the other moms will think that is weird. He said we should do it at our house.

I really don’t have the space for 11 rowdy kids, and I want them to be able to run around outside with lots of space, climb trees, and play in the mud. I know my parents are okay with it already.

Would it be weird? WIBTA?

Considering a playdate for multiple children involves navigating the complexities of family dynamics and social expectations.

Research from the Journal of Community Psychology indicates that hosting events can significantly influence family relationships and social cohesion.

However, the pressure to conform to social norms can lead to anxiety and stress for hosts.

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OP’s husband shut down the plan fast, saying inviting 11 kids to her parents’ house would make her the AH.

Psychologists emphasize that the fear of judgment from others can impact decision-making, particularly in social contexts.

Studies reveal that individuals often weigh the potential benefits and drawbacks of social gatherings, which can lead to overthinking and heightened anxiety.

This can create a paralyzing effect where individuals hesitate to make decisions out of fear of disapproval.

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Assessing Capacity for Hosting

Before hosting a large gathering, it's important to assess personal capacity and resources, including time and emotional energy.

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The moms group is already forming around the idea of “all the kids together,” so OP can’t just quietly back out.

Effective communication with family members about expectations for hosting can alleviate stress.

Also, this reminds me of the OP who asked a struggling sibling to repay money for basic living expenses.

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The Benefits of Social Interaction for Children

Hosting playdates can have significant benefits for children's social development and emotional well-being.

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OP keeps pointing out she doesn’t have the space for 11 kids, but her parents do have land for exactly this kind of chaos.

This situation highlights the importance of balancing social expectations with personal comfort.

By prioritizing enjoyment and connection over perfection, individuals can create memorable experiences for their children.

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Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

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With her husband insisting they host at their own house, OP is stuck between practicality and worrying what the other moms will think.

In the scenario of hosting a playdate for 11 children, the challenges of managing such a large group in a single setting must be carefully considered. The Reddit user's desire for the children to enjoy outdoor activities in her parents' spacious yard is commendable, but it raises questions about the logistics and safety of overseeing so many young ones at once.

Effective communication with both the parents and the children is vital to ensure that the playdate is enjoyable and stress-free. Assessing what is realistically manageable can help prevent overwhelming situations and create a positive atmosphere.

Furthermore, facilitating these social interactions not only enhances the children's development through play but also strengthens family connections, making it a worthwhile endeavor despite the complexities involved.

She’s not the problem for wanting mud, trees, and space, but her husband might be the one making this harder than it needs to be.

Wait, it gets messier than a playdate debate, read how a roommate asked for a rent increase when a partner overstayed. Roommate Dilemma: Should I Ask for Rent Increase Due to Partners Extended Stay?