Is It Fair to Ask My Brother-in-Law to Support Our Mother-in-Law Equally?

"AITA for questioning unequal support to MIL? Partner's brother doesn't contribute, causing tension and aggression in the relationship."

Damjan

Published in Interesting
25 Dec 2025

Is It Fair to Ask My Brother-in-Law to Support Our Mother-in-Law Equally?

In the complex landscape of family dynamics and financial obligations, one Reddit user has found themselves grappling with a challenging situation. The original post centers on a woman questioning whether she is in the wrong for urging her partner to address the unequal financial support he provides to his mother.

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Living in Australia and hailing from Bangladesh, the couple has consistently sent money to the mother since the loss of the husband. However, the partner’s older brother, who lives nearby, has not contributed a single penny over the nine years they have been providing support.

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The crux of the issue lies in the partner's justifications for this one-sided arrangement, citing various personal circumstances faced by the brother. Each time the topic arises, it leads to heated arguments, leaving the original poster feeling frustrated and unheard.

As tensions mount, she questions the fairness of the financial burden and wonders if she is being unreasonable in her expectations. This thread invites discussion not only of familial obligations across cultures but also of financial responsibilities within partnerships.

As the community rallies to share their insights, the question remains: Is the original poster justified in her concerns, or is her partner right to defend a familial bond that may not seem equitable to outsiders? Join the conversation and weigh in on this intriguing dilemma.

Original Post

AITA: me and my partner live in Australia, we are both from Bangladesh. since he lost his father, he monthly sends money to his mother.

he has an elder brother back at home country, who never paid a penny since we started giving 9 years ago. I have been telling my partner about this and how I think it's not fair.

but my partner keeps giving excuses such as: he (the brother)didn't have a job, he just got a job, he is still casual employee, he just got married, his wife just got a job, he just had a baby, I live far away so I can't be with my mom all the time - hence I should pay and he shouldn't as he is close by. No matter what, I just don't feel this is right.

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and whenever I raise this topic, my partner will get aggressive, agitated, abusive and accuse me of being an a*****e. edit: this one way payment arrangement has been going on for more than 8 years.

Am I an a*****e? or he?