Is it wrong to ask my cousins boyfriend to spend less time at our apartment?

Beverly’s boyfriend Albert didn’t start out as a full-time roommate, but somehow he’s turned into the guy who always shows up. For OP, it went from “no big deal” to walking into her own apartment and feeling like she’s crashing someone else’s date night.

OP lives with cousin Beverly, and Albert began staying over occasionally. Lately it’s basically every day, with late-night movie marathons, dinners, and even weekend getaways that leave OP feeling awkward, shut out, and exhausted after work. She’s tried dropping hints, but Beverly waves it off, saying she enjoys having him there.

So OP finally asked Albert to cut back, and Beverly did not take it well.

Original Post

I (27F) live with my cousin Beverly. Her boyfriend Albert started staying over occasionally, which was fine at first.

But lately, he’s here almost every day, and I'm starting to feel like the third wheel in my own apartment. Beverly and Albert have their couple time, and I often find myself feeling awkward or intruding.

They have late-night movie marathons, dinners, and even weekend getaways where I feel like an outsider. I work long hours and when I come home, I value my personal space.

I’ve tried dropping hints to Beverly about Albert being around too much, but she just brushes it off and says she enjoys having him over. Last night, after a particularly exhausting day, I finally mustered the courage to bring it up.

I politely asked if Albert could spend fewer nights at our place, maybe limit it to weekends. Beverly got upset, saying I was jealous of their relationship.

I don't want to cause tension between us, but I also want to feel comfortable in my own home. So, AITA?

Families often struggle with these boundaries, especially when one member begins to dominate shared spaces.

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OP’s “just occasional” cousin boyfriend situation turns into an everyday thing, and suddenly her apartment feels like it belongs to Beverly and Albert first.

Therapists recommend that individuals in shared living situations establish ground rules early on.

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The hints OP tried before the movie marathons and dinners never land, because Beverly keeps brushing it off like OP is being dramatic.

This feels similar to the cousin drama over a $25 gift card that backfired with family.

After a brutal day, OP brings it up directly and asks for fewer nights, maybe only weekends, which is when Beverly flips the script.

Understanding the dynamics of shared living requires empathy and proactive communication.

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Beverly calls it jealousy over their relationship, and now OP is stuck worrying she’s creating tension just to get her own space back.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

The original poster’s feelings of discomfort as her cousin's boyfriend takes up residence in her home reflect a common struggle for many in similar arrangements. It is crucial for the OP to express her feelings openly, ensuring that boundaries are established to maintain a sense of personal space.

Addressing these issues head-on can lead to a more respectful and comfortable environment for everyone involved. The key lies in balancing the needs of all parties, ensuring that each person's comfort and value in their home is recognized. With thoughtful dialogue and mutual agreements, it is possible to create harmony without sacrificing individual needs.

Feeling like a third wheel in your own home can really stir up a lot of emotions, especially when personal space is compromised.

The original poster's experience illustrates a common struggle with boundaries in relationships; when one person’s needs start to overshadow another’s, it’s essential to voice those feelings.

Open communication is key here; by expressing discomfort clearly and respectfully, they can pave the way for a healthier living dynamic that honors everyone’s needs.

Beverly and Albert might be the ones taking over the apartment, but OP is the one left wondering if she’s the bad guy for wanting her home back.

Before you ask Albert to back off, see how one friend handled last-minute trip pressure in this AITA about refusing to cancel plans for a friend.