Is It Wrong to Call Out Overbearing Behavior in a Friendship of 7 Years?

AITA for calling my friend of 7 years creepy? The post delves into a friendship turned toxic due to overbearing behavior, leaving OP questioning boundaries and sanity.

Sophia

Published in Interesting
7 Sep 2025

Is It Wrong to Call Out Overbearing Behavior in a Friendship of 7 Years?

A 26-year-old woman didn’t just call out a friend for being “a little clingy.” She flat-out labeled her behavior creepy, and it all started the moment she told her best friend, Jane, she was pregnant.

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For seven years, Jane was close friends with OP, but once the pregnancy news hit, the vibes went off the rails. Jane began tracking her location, demanding updates multiple times a day, blowing up her phone when she didn’t respond, and even stalking her Facebook friends list. When OP set boundaries, Jane claimed it was all “safety,” even telling her she was being too emotional because she was pregnant.

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Then the emergency cesarean and the NICU turned the situation from uncomfortable to chaotic.

Original Post

TL;DR: I called my friend creepy for her overbearing behavior. I 26F, have been close friends with someone named Jane, 25F for about 7 years.

She’s always been clingy and a bit overbearing, but never to this extent. The behaviors began as soon as I found out and told her I was pregnant.

We used to share locations, but after finding out about my pregnancy, she started tracking it. Asking me multiple times per day where I was, what I was doing there, who’s house I was at, why I was at their house, etc.

I told her it bothered me and I turned my location off. She also began blowing up my phone when I didn’t immediately respond, stalking my facebook friends list and questioning why I was friends with certain individuals, and asking me repeatedly if I loved my other friends more than her.

I told her I didn’t like these behaviors and that I was confused because she never used to act like this. She told me she was just looking out for my safety and well-being and that I was just being super emotional and sensitive because I was pregnant.

After this I stopped contact with her for a couple of weeks. She apologized and I felt like she got the memo.

Jane respected my boundaries and stopped doing these weird behaviors. It didnt last long.

Two weeks later, my son was delivered via emergency cesarean. He was resuscitated at birth and life flighted to a nicu 3 hours from me.

I didn’t get to meet him for 4 days due to me hemorrhaging after delivery. During that time, I wasnt answering my phone due to stress.

So she started blowing up my husbands phone. 13 messages.

He instantly blocked her. The next 3 weeks while my son was in the nicu, she repeatedly asked me why my husband blocked her.

I told her why. She told me it wasn’t fair and that he was mean because she was just worried about me.

She started demanding my location again. Blowing up my phone again saying she wants to meet my son.

I was too stressed to even respond. We finally got home after 3 weeks and I deliberately wasn’t telling this friend that we were home.

I wasn’t ready for the overbearing behavior in person. The same day we got home, she texted me saying “I drove past your house to see if you guys had finally made it home”, and started asking when she could meet our son.

I told her I wasn’t ready for that. Another friend of mine, Abby, came over to drop off an owlet sock she bought me.

We invited her to meet and h**g out with the baby and took a picture of her holding him. She asked if she could post on social media, and we didn’t mind at all.

Later, I get a giant text message from Jane saying how hurt she was that Abby got to meet our baby before her. She said it wasn’t fair because she checked on me so much while we were in the nicu.

To that I said, other people checked on us too, but did it without being creepy and weird like Jane had been. I started getting texts from her friends and family saying I need to be more understanding and sensitive about Jane’s feelings.

Overbearing behavior, as prominently exhibited in Jane's actions, often originates from deep-seated insecurities and a pervasive fear of abandonment. This need for control can create distress and discomfort for both parties involved, ultimately straining the bond that might otherwise flourish.

Understanding this underlying motivation can help the original poster (OP) empathize with Jane while still addressing the harmful nature of her actions. Recognizing that overbearing behavior may not stem from malice but rather from a place of fear and vulnerability can provide clarity in navigating the situation. It encourages a more compassionate approach, fostering healthier communication and the potential for resolution without escalating conflict.

Comment from u/wesmorgan1

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Comment from u/hubertburnette

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Jane's escalating behaviors, such as tracking OP's location and incessantly messaging, might be classified as stalking.

Comment from u/LiveKindly01

Comment from u/Embarrassed-Row-2025

The location tracking and frantic calls might have been bad enough, but the second Jane started questioning OP’s other friends, it stopped feeling like concern and started feeling like control.

Setting healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship, particularly in long-term friendships.

Comment from u/ClaireL58

Comment from u/Tough-Combination-37

Confronting a friend about overbearing behavior can be daunting but is often necessary to restore balance in the relationship. Addressing such issues head-on not only helps in clarifying misunderstandings but also strengthens the bond between friends. Research indicates that direct communication can lead to positive outcomes when it comes to maintaining friendships, as it fosters trust and openness. OP's decision to address Jane's behavior directly is aligned with best practices in conflict resolution, which emphasize the importance of honesty.

It's crucial for OP to approach the conversation with empathy while firmly expressing her feelings regarding the situation. By doing so, she can create an environment where Jane feels safe to respond and reflect on her actions. This thoughtful approach can pave the way for a more respectful friendship moving forward, allowing both friends to grow and learn from the experience together.

Comment from u/Ginger_titts

Comment from u/Mother-Media8874

After OP’s son was delivered via emergency C-section and life flighted to a NICU three hours away, Jane escalated fast by blowing up OP’s husband’s phone instead.

This is also like the babysitter who quit after being called a “sucky” sitter.

Major life changes, such as pregnancy, can significantly alter the dynamics of friendships in profound ways.

Comment from u/Appropriate-Value54

Comment from u/Flat-Replacement4828

Maintaining a friendship requires effort from both parties, especially during challenging times when life can get particularly hectic.

Comment from u/Vast_Responsibility6

Comment from u/Cloud9Goddess

When OP explained that her husband blocked Jane, Jane didn’t back off, she turned it into a new complaint, asking why her husband was “mean” for blocking her.

Mental Health and Toxic Relationships

The impact of being in a toxic relationship, as OP experienced with Jane, can have profound effects on mental health that often linger long after the relationship has ended. Recognizing the signs of emotional toxicity is crucial in order to protect one's well-being and to avoid falling into similar patterns in the future.

Moreover, it is essential for individuals like OP to understand that they are not alone in their struggles, and that many people face similar challenges in their relationships. OP might consider seeking support from a mental health professional to process her feelings about the friendship and to develop coping strategies moving forward. This support can provide valuable insights and tools for healing and personal growth.