Is it Wrong to Date a Friends Ex? Navigating Relationships and Friendships
"Is it wrong to date my friend's ex who also has feelings for me, risking friendships and creating a rift in our group? Reddit weighs in."
A 28-year-old woman is stuck in a very specific kind of relationship chaos: she and her best friend’s ex have started quietly dating, even though the breakup was only a year ago.
OP has been friends with Sarah since college, and during Sarah’s long relationship with Mark, OP kept her feelings buried out of respect. After they split, Mark confessed his feelings too, and now OP and Mark are getting closer, just not in a way the friend group knows about yet.
The complication is simple and brutal: Sarah doesn’t know, and mutual friends are already side-eyeing the whole thing.
Original Post
So, I'm (28F) and I’ve been friends with Sarah (27F) since college. She dated Mark (29M) for several years, but they broke up about a year ago.
Throughout their relationship, I developed feelings for Mark, but I never acted on them out of respect for Sarah. After their breakup, Mark confessed that he had feelings for me too.
We’ve started casually dating, but we haven’t made it public yet. Here's where it gets messy – some of our mutual friends think it's wrong for me to date Sarah's ex, even though they’ve been broken up for a while now.
Sarah doesn’t know about Mark and me yet, and I know it will hurt her when she finds out. However, I feel a strong connection with Mark, and I believe we could have a future together.
I’m torn between following my heart and risking my friendship with Sarah and the group. On one hand, I don’t want to betray Sarah, but on the other, I can’t control my feelings for Mark.
I’m afraid that if I continue this relationship, it will cause a major rift in our friend group. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I continue to date my friend's ex despite the potential fallout?
Comment from u/TheTeaDrinker
Comment from u/GamerGalForever
Comment from u/CatLover94
Comment from u/RandomRamblings23
Comment from u/AdventureSeeker99
Comment from u/PizzaConnoisseur
This is similar to the dilemma in a best friend dating her ex after his confession, when loyalty gets messy.
Comment from u/TheCaffeineAddict
Comment from u/Bookworm_28
Comment from u/Runner_Girl101
Comment from u/Musiclover77
Comment from u/TechieMom87
That’s when OP’s “it’s fine, we’re just being casual” plan collides with the fact that Sarah has no idea Mark is suddenly in the picture again.
Meanwhile, OP is trying to hold onto Mark while also pretending the mutual friends aren’t watching their every interaction like hawks.
Then Mark’s confession after the breakup turns into the real problem, because it means OP’s feelings were never just a harmless crush.
And the moment Sarah finds out, OP is bracing for the exact fallout she’s been fearing, a rift that could split the whole group.
What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.
OP isn’t just dating Mark, she’s gambling with Sarah’s trust and the friend group’s peace.
Still unsure? Read what happened when a friend dated her pal’s ex who showed interest.
