Is it Wrong to Date My Best Friends Ex? AITA for Considering It?

A 28-year-old woman refused to touch a messy love triangle, even when her best friend’s ex started showing up in her DMs. For over a decade, she and Sarah have been inseparable, sharing everything from clothes to secrets, so the idea of risking that bond feels like setting their whole history on fire.

Then Mark, Sarah’s boyfriend who crashed out of the relationship with a lot of emotional fallout, reaches out. He says he’s had feelings for her since he was with Sarah, and he never acted on them out of respect. Now they’re talking more, the chemistry is getting harder to ignore, and OP is stuck between a “don’t date a friend’s ex” rule she never officially agreed to and the very real pull she can’t shut off.

Here’s the part that makes Sarah’s name impossible to forget.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and I've been best friends with Sarah (29F) for over a decade. We've shared everything, from clothes to secrets.

About six months ago, Sarah had a messy breakup with her boyfriend, Mark. Mark and I always got along, and I could tell there was chemistry between us.

Sarah never knew this because I never wanted to jeopardize our friendship. For background, I've been single for a while and haven't felt this kind of connection with anyone in a long time.

Mark recently reached out to me, confessing that he's had feelings for me since he was with Sarah but never acted on them out of respect for their relationship. We've been talking more frequently, and I can't deny that I'm starting to develop feelings for him too.

I'm torn between pursuing a potential relationship with Mark, knowing it might hurt Sarah, and respecting the unspoken rule of not dating a friend's ex. I don't want to betray Sarah, but I also want to explore this connection with Mark.

So AITA?

Navigating a Friendship Minefield

This situation illustrates just how layered friendships can be, especially when romantic feelings enter the mix. The OP’s feelings for Mark, a guy who has been a part of her best friend Sarah’s life, create a potential rift. It’s not just about whether it's acceptable to date an ex; it’s about loyalty and the emotional fallout that could ensue. Sarah may have moved on, but the scars from their breakup are still fresh, and that’s a weighty consideration for the OP.

Plus, Mark’s confession that he had feelings for the OP while still dating Sarah adds a whole new level of complexity. It raises questions about his integrity and whether he might repeat similar patterns in future relationships.

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The Complicated Nature of Timing

Timing is everything in relationships, and the six-month gap since Sarah and Mark's breakup complicates things further. On one hand, it’s enough time for feelings to settle, but on the other, it’s still raw for Sarah. The OP's dilemma brings to light how long is 'long enough' to date a friend’s ex without crossing a line. It’s a delicate dance between honoring past relationships and pursuing new possibilities.

In this case, the OP’s feelings seem genuine, but can they be pursued without jeopardizing her friendship with Sarah? That’s a question that’s sure to resonate with anyone who’s ever found themselves in similar shoes.

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Community Reactions Speak Volumes

The online community’s reaction to this thread is a testament to how divided opinions can be on sensitive subjects. Some readers are championing the OP for following her heart, while others are staunchly defending the unspoken rule about not dating a friend’s ex. This is a classic case of moral ambiguity that fuels debate. People are passionate about loyalty, but they also recognize that feelings can’t always be controlled.

Comments likely reflect a spectrum of experiences, with some recalling their own messy entanglements. The emotional stakes here are high, and that’s what makes this story particularly compelling for many.

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The Risk of Repeating Patterns

Mark’s past relationship with Sarah raises an important question: is he truly ready to pursue something new with the OP, or is he simply drawn to what’s familiar? The OP needs to consider whether Mark’s feelings are sincere or if he’s just looking for a rebound. Relationships often reveal patterns, and without addressing what went wrong with Sarah, the OP might find herself in a similar situation.

This highlights the importance of understanding one’s motives in dating, especially when involving friends. The emotional repercussions of getting involved with Mark could be significant for both her and Sarah, making the OP's decision even more crucial.

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What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

Why This Story Matters

This dilemma about dating a best friend's ex is more than just a personal conflict; it’s a reflection of how intertwined our relationships can become. The OP is at a crossroads where her feelings for Mark clash with her loyalty to Sarah. It’s a tough spot to be in, and it prompts us to think about the boundaries we set in friendships. Ultimately, what would you do if faced with a similar situation? Would you prioritize your heart or your friendship?

What It Comes Down To

In this love triangle, the 28-year-old woman faces a classic dilemma between friendship and romantic feelings, particularly after Mark, her best friend's ex, reveals he’s had feelings for her for some time. The emotional fallout from Sarah's messy breakup complicates matters, making the OP's struggle between loyalty and desire even more pronounced. With six months having passed since the split, it's clear that timing plays a pivotal role; while it's enough time for feelings to settle, the scars from the breakup are still fresh for Sarah. This situation underscores how intertwined relationships are and raises important questions about the boundaries we set within friendships.