Is It Wrong to Date My Cousins Ex? | Relationship Dilemma Explained

Some family crushes stay buried for years, then one breakup blows the whole secret wide open. In this Reddit post, a 27-year-old guy is sitting on a long-held crush on his 25-year-old cousin’s ex, and now that she just split from her long-term boyfriend, the guy’s feelings are suddenly impossible to ignore.

Here’s the messy part: he and the ex have actually hung out at family gatherings, they get along, they share interests, and he’s been quietly feeling a connection for a while. He hasn’t told his cousin anything, because he knows even hinting at it could land like a punch in the middle of her breakup.

And once you factor in that the ex is now single, the temptation becomes its own kind of relationship grenade.

Original Post

So I'm (27M), and I've been single for a while now. Last week, my cousin (25F) broke up with her long-term boyfriend.

The thing is, I've always had a secret crush on him. We've hung out a few times in the past at family gatherings, and I always felt a connection.

We even have similar interests and get along really well. Recently, I found out that he's single now after the breakup.

I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to date him. I haven't told anyone about my feelings, not even my cousin, because I know it might upset her.

But I can't deny the attraction I feel towards him. I'm torn between pursuing my feelings and risking hurting my cousin or suppressing my emotions to protect her feelings.

I know dating a family member's ex can be complicated, but I can't help how I feel. I haven't made any moves yet, but the temptation is strong.

What should I do in this situation? So AITA?

The Complicated Web of Relationships

This dilemma isn’t just about one person’s feelings; it’s tangled in family loyalty and the emotional fallout of past relationships. The OP's crush on his cousin's ex-boyfriend adds an extra layer of complexity, as it blurs the lines between familial ties and romantic interest. It’s a precarious position that could lead to family rifts, especially since breakups can leave lingering emotional debris.

When dating someone who's been close to a family member, it’s hard to escape the shadows of that prior relationship. The OP has to weigh his feelings against the potential hurt to his cousin, which makes this situation resonate with anyone who's ever had to navigate romantic feelings in a close-knit family setting.

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The moment OP found out the cousin’s ex is single, that “maybe someday” crush turned into a full-blown what-if.</p>

Why the Community is Divided

This Reddit thread has sparked a lively debate, with opinions flying in both directions. Some users argue that love is love, and if the OP feels a genuine connection with the ex, why shouldn't he explore that? Others point out that dating a cousin's ex could lead to unnecessary drama and hurt feelings.

The split underscores a common tension in relationships: when does pursuing personal happiness come at the cost of familial harmony? It’s a classic tug-of-war between individual desires and collective family dynamics, making it a relatable scenario for many readers who’ve faced similar crossroads.

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Since OP has kept his feelings to himself, every family hangout with them both starts feeling like a test he did not study for.</p>

This is similar to the love triangle fallout when someone tried dating their cousin’s ex and sparked a family rift.

The OP's situation raises questions about the emotional aftermath of pursuing this relationship. If he decides to date his cousin's ex, it could lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment from his cousin, especially if she still harbors feelings for him. There’s also the risk of being the 'villain' in this family saga, which can be a heavy burden to carry.

This scenario illustrates how romantic pursuits can complicate family ties, forcing individuals to balance their feelings with the potential for family division. It’s not just about who he likes; it’s about how those decisions ripple through his family and impact relationships beyond just him and his cousin.

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Meanwhile, the cousin is dealing with the fallout of a long-term breakup, which makes any romantic move feel like it could hit her where it hurts.</p>

The Heart vs. Family Loyalty

At the heart of this dilemma is a fundamental question: how do you prioritize romantic feelings without undermining family loyalty? The OP has a genuine attraction to his cousin's ex, but pursuing it means stepping into a potential minefield. This situation mirrors a common theme in relationship dilemmas where love conflicts with loyalty.

Readers can empathize with the OP's struggle, as many have faced similar crossroads in their own lives. The emotional stakes are high, and whatever decision he makes, the implications will likely echo through the family for quite some time. It’s a poignant reminder of the complexities inherent in love and family.

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That’s why the comments split hard, with people arguing whether love should override cousin loyalty or if this is just going to blow up at the next family dinner.</p>

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Why This Story Matters

This story highlights the tension between personal happiness and family loyalty, a struggle many can relate to. As the OP navigates this complicated emotional landscape, readers are left wondering: how far would you go for love, and at what cost to your relationships? It’s a question that lingers long after the discussion ends, prompting introspection on the nature of love and familial bonds.

What It Comes Down To

In this story, the 27-year-old man finds himself in a classic tug-of-war between romantic desire and familial loyalty after his cousin's breakup. His long-standing crush on her ex-boyfriend complicates matters, as he grapples with the fear of hurting his cousin's feelings while feeling a strong connection to someone who's been close to her. This dilemma reflects a common struggle many face: how to balance personal happiness with the potential emotional fallout that could ripple through family relationships. Ultimately, his decision could shift the dynamics within the family, highlighting the intricate web of love and loyalty that often defines such situations.

He’s not just deciding who to date, he’s deciding how much family peace he’s willing to risk.

Still unsure about dating your cousin, despite family disapproval, read what happened when he pursued her anyway.