Is It Wrong to Have Feelings for My Best Friends Ex?

Sarah broke up with Alex six months ago, and somehow, that’s when the emotional plot twist started. OP, 27F, has been quietly catching feelings for the same guy her best friend used to date, and now it’s not just a crush, Alex is actively pushing for more.

Here’s the problem, OP and Alex have gotten closer since college, they both admit they like each other, and they’ve been holding back out of respect for Sarah. Then last week, Alex confessed he still has feelings for OP, which basically yanks the whole “we should be loyal” conversation into the spotlight. Meanwhile, Sarah hasn’t shown romantic interest in Alex since the breakup, so OP is stuck between “we’ve both moved on” and “this could still hurt my best friend.”

This messy triangle is exactly the kind of situation where one decision can change friendships forever, here’s the full story.

Original Post

So, I'm (27F) in a bit of a pickle here. My best friend Sarah dated this guy, Alex, for about a year.

They broke up six months ago, and Sarah seemed okay with it. Alex and I have known each other since college, but we weren't close until recently.

We started talking more, and I realized I have feelings for him. We've both shared that we like each other, but we haven't acted on it out of respect for Sarah.

Here's the tricky part: last week, Alex confessed he still has feelings for me and wants to pursue a relationship. I'm torn because I don't want to hurt Sarah, but I also can't deny my feelings for Alex.

He's truly an amazing guy. Sarah hasn't shown any romantic interest in him since their breakup, and I feel like they've both moved on.

Would I be the a*****e if I pursued a relationship with Alex, knowing it might hurt Sarah and potentially strain our friendship? I care about both of them deeply, but I can't ignore how I feel about him.

I'm really stuck on what to do. Help me out here, Reddit - what should I do in this messy situation?

So AITA?

The Complicated Nature of Friendships

The heart of this dilemma isn’t just about feelings for Alex; it’s about the bonds of friendship. Sarah’s feelings for her best friend’s ex raise the question of loyalty and what it means to be a good friend. Even though six months have passed since Sarah’s friend and Alex broke up, the emotional aftermath can linger far longer than the relationship itself.

It’s easy to view Sarah’s feelings as a betrayal, especially from the perspective of her best friend. Yet, love is often unpredictable and can emerge from unexpected places. This complexity is what resonates with readers, as many have likely found themselves in similarly tangled emotional webs.

Comment from u/sleepy_pancakezzz

Comment from u/choco_thunder67

Comment from u/teatime_fiasco

OP tried to keep it respectful while Sarah and Alex’s breakup was still fresh in everyone’s minds, but the “we’re just friends” vibe started slipping when OP and Alex got closer.

This story showcases the messy reality of unacknowledged feelings and the potential for emotional fallout. While Sarah might think her feelings are harmless, the implications are much larger. If she pursues a relationship with Alex, it’s not just about her happiness. She risks damaging her friendship, which could lead to a rift that may not be easily repaired.

The Reddit community’s responses reflect this tension, with many weighing in on whether Sarah’s feelings justify her actions. Some argue that love is worth the risk, while others emphasize the importance of prioritizing friendships over fleeting emotions.

Comment from u/gamingqueen88

Comment from u/the_real_deal23

Comment from u/sunny_side_up42

The moment Alex confessed he still wants OP, after months of Sarah seemingly being okay, the whole situation went from awkward feelings to an actual relationship question.

It also echoes the dilemma in a best friend’s ex confession where feelings for Alex were kept secret.

Why Timing Matters

Timing is everything in relationships, and Sarah’s situation illustrates how critical it can be. Six months might feel like enough time to move on, but for many, the emotional scars from a breakup are still fresh. Alex may have moved on, but his past connection with Sarah’s best friend complicates any potential new relationship.

This nuance is what makes Sarah’s predicament so relatable. Readers can sympathize with her emotional conflict while also feeling the weight of the unspoken rules of friendship. It’s a delicate balance, and that’s what keeps the conversation lively and divided among commenters.

Comment from u/pizza_lover2000

Comment from u/coffee_queen99

Comment from u/zen_master47

OP keeps thinking about Sarah’s reaction, especially because Sarah hasn’t shown interest in Alex, yet OP still worries the friendship could take the hit.

The Community's Divided Opinions

The Reddit community’s reaction to Sarah’s dilemma reveals just how complex these situations can be. Some users argue that pursuing her feelings would be a betrayal of friendship, emphasizing that even though Alex is an ex, he’s still tied to someone Sarah cares about deeply. Others suggest that love trumps friendship, asserting that Sarah has the right to follow her heart.

This division underscores a broader cultural conversation about loyalty and personal happiness. Readers are often torn between these competing values, and that conflict is what makes stories like this so compelling.

Comment from u/cat_whisperer22

And now that OP and Alex have both admitted they like each other, the decision is no longer hypothetical, it’s about whether pursuing him is worth risking Sarah’s trust.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

Final Thoughts

This story taps into the timeless struggle between romantic desire and friendship loyalty, making it resonate with many readers. Sarah’s feelings for Alex pose not just a question of personal happiness but also a potential threat to her friendship. As these emotional landscapes unfold, it raises the question: can love truly coexist with loyalty, or must one always come at the expense of the other? What would you do in Sarah's situation?

In this dilemma, Sarah’s feelings for Alex, her best friend’s ex, highlight the intense conflict between desire and loyalty. While Sarah seems to believe both she and Alex have moved on from his relationship with Sarah, the emotional weight of their past connection adds layers of complexity to her situation. The interactions between these characters reveal a universal struggle: can one pursue personal happiness without jeopardizing important friendships?

OP is wondering if she should follow her heart, or if dating her best friend’s ex is the fastest way to lose the friendship.

Want another take on loyalty vs temptation, check out what happened when someone pursued their best friend’s crush.