Is It Wrong to Let My Partner Stay in the Apartment When Im Not There?

A few months into dating, things were going great for this 30-year-old guy, until his girlfriend’s sleepovers started rubbing his roommate the wrong way.

He lives in an apartment with his 29-year-old friend, and the girlfriend, 5 nights a week, comes over to stay while he’s at work. The roommate never objected at first, but after she got a new night job, she started showing up right after her shift ends, then going to sleep in the apartment while the boyfriend is still out for the day. Now the roommate is frustrated and says she shouldn’t be there when OP isn’t present, even though OP trusts her and doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

Now everyone’s wondering if this is about boundaries, or just roommate jealousy.

Original Post

I (30M) live in an apartment with one of my friends (29M). I've been dating this girl for a few months and she stays over often (5 nights a week).

My roommate hasn't said he's against that part or anything, but has now voiced frustration over the fact that she has recently got a new job (working nights) and so comes over after her she clocks out to sleep. I'm not there during the day due to my job, but I trust her.

He's saying that she shouldn't be there when I'm not present, but I don't see the issue at all and think he's being selfish. AITA?

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This also echoes the parents getting weird after their kid monetized a piano tip jar performance, with neighbors judging the whole situation.

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The girlfriend’s 5-night-a-week routine is suddenly the whole problem, especially once her new night job changed her timing.

After she clocks out and comes over to sleep, the roommate’s frustration starts piling up in a way OP did not anticipate.

OP keeps pointing to trust and comfort, while his roommate insists she should only be there when he’s around.

With the apartment already shared and the girlfriend’s schedule now locked in, OP has to decide if he’s being selfish or just protecting his relationship.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

He might not be the villain, but his roommate is definitely keeping score.

Wait, before you decide, read about the friend pressuring someone to give up a puppy.