Is It Wrong to Let My Partner Stay in the Apartment When Im Not There?

AITA for letting my partner stay in the apartment when I'm not there? Roommate feels uncomfortable, am I being selfish?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
24 Dec 2025

Is It Wrong to Let My Partner Stay in the Apartment When Im Not There?

In today’s Reddit thread, we delve into a classic roommate dilemma that raises questions about boundaries, trust, and the dynamics of shared living spaces. The original poster, a 30-year-old man, finds himself navigating a tricky situation with his close friend and roommate, who is growing increasingly frustrated by his girlfriend's presence in their apartment.

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The poster has been dating his girlfriend for a few months, and her frequent overnight stays five nights a week have sparked discontent in their shared living arrangement. While the poster insists he trusts her and sees no issue with her staying over, his roommate argues that her presence disrupts their home and exceeds the bounds of a typical guest relationship.

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As the discussion unfolds, commenters are quick to weigh in, with many asserting that the girlfriend’s near-permanent presence in the apartment may not only infringe on the roommate's comfort but also raise important questions about fairness and respect in shared living situations. The responses highlight differing views on what it means to be a good roommate and the responsibilities that come with sharing a space.

Join us as we explore the varied opinions on this situation and consider the balance between personal relationships and shared living arrangements. Is the original poster being unreasonable, or is his roommate simply overreacting?

Original Post

I (30M) live in an apartment with one of my friends (29M). I've been dating this girl for a few months and she stays over often (5 nights a week).

My roommate hasn't said he's against that part or anything, but has now voiced frustration over the fact that she has recently got a new job (working nights) and so comes over after her she clocks out to sleep. I'm not there during the day due to my job, but I trust her.

He's saying that she shouldn't be there when I'm not present, but I don't see the issue at all and think he's being selfish. AITA?

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