Employee Plagued With Guilt After Botched Resignation Conversation With Boss
The heavy sting of an awkward farewell.
Quitting a job is truly one of life's trickiest moments. Today was the day our narrator (Original Poster) handed in their two-week notice—and boy, was it a ride.
OP walked into their boss’s office with a mix of excitement and nerves. The aim was to keep it straightforward and professional, so the first thing they did was blurt out the news of their imminent departure.
Their boss was taken aback. She inquired if they were unhappy or if the work wasn’t up to par. OP reassured her that it wasn’t about dissatisfaction but rather about seeking a more permanent position since they were only contract staff.
They went on to narrate how it had been an exhilarating experience so far, and they thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Of course, OP seized this moment to also sneak in the news of offers from other companies.
After a moment of processing, she wished OP good luck and congratulated them on their new offers. A co-worker who overheard even added their congratulations.
This boosted OP's mood significantly for the next couple of hours, and then came the call with their dad. As OP recounted the conversation with their boss, their dad offered a critique that hit hard: they should have led with praise for the current job before mentioning their resignation.
This approach would have softened the blow and prevented their boss from feeling blindsided. Regret washed over OP.
They realized their dad was right—starting with the positives could have changed the tone of the conversation entirely. It could have been a warm farewell, leaving no room for doubts about their feelings toward the job.
Was OP the AH for missing such a vital social cue?
The story in detail
Reddit.comHere's an overview of the story
Reddit.comThe Psychology of Guilt and Resignation
Experiencing guilt after a difficult conversation, such as resigning from a job, is not uncommon. Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability and shame, emphasizes that guilt often arises from our desire to meet our own moral standards.
When individuals feel they’ve fallen short of these standards, especially in a professional context, it can lead to significant emotional distress, as seen in this employee's case.
OP's contract has come to an end. They are thrilled to have had a positive experience, and OP has received two excellent job offers, which were acknowledged with congratulations from their boss and colleague.
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OP's dad helped them see that they should have praised their old company before announcing their departure. A lesson learned for better communication.
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Research indicates that awkward conversations can trigger social anxiety, leading to feelings of guilt and regret. According to studies published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, the fear of negative evaluation can exacerbate feelings of guilt, especially when leaving a job.
This phenomenon often stems from a desire to maintain social harmony, which can conflict with the individual's needs.
Check out some interesting comments we've gathered from the Reddit community;
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"You don't have to worry about your boss's feelings to this degree"
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Understanding the Role of Self-Compassion
Developing self-compassion can be an effective strategy for managing guilt. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field, highlights that self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during difficult times.
Her research shows that individuals who practice self-compassion are better equipped to navigate feelings of guilt and move forward positively.
"Your dad's an overthinking busybody"
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"The days of undying gratitude to a company are over."
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To alleviate guilt, it's helpful for individuals to reframe their narratives around the resignation. Research suggests that cognitive reframing—changing the way we perceive a situation—can significantly reduce emotional distress.
By recognizing that resigning may be a necessary step for personal growth, individuals can mitigate feelings of guilt.
"You can even use ChatGPT to help craft your resignation letter."
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"The company should expect you to bail if they only offer contract terms."
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The takeaway from this story was clear: always lead with gratitude. So, was OP the AH here? Redditors didn’t think so. After all, everyone’s a work in progress.
All OP could do now was remember to appreciate the journey before announcing its end. Because in the delicate dance of leaving a job, a little extra grace goes a long way.
What do you think about this story? Let us know in the comments.
"You can now count on this boss for a good reference in the future."
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"The worker can most definitely keep their options open pending an offer."
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Practical Steps for Moving Forward
Seeking closure through professional counseling can provide valuable support during this transitional period. Therapists can help individuals process their emotions and develop healthier coping strategies.
Additionally, journaling about feelings can facilitate emotional processing, enabling individuals to articulate their experiences and gain clarity.
Psychological Analysis
This resignation scenario illustrates the emotional complexities many face when leaving a job. The guilt experienced by this individual is likely tied to fear of letting others down and a desire to uphold social harmony.
Addressing these feelings through self-compassion and reframing can help in moving past the guilt.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, managing guilt after a difficult resignation requires self-reflection and supportive strategies. As Gretchen Rubin, a happiness researcher, states, "The first step to overcoming guilt is to acknowledge it and understand its roots." Understanding and accepting one’s emotions is a crucial step toward healing. With time and the right support, individuals can navigate this challenging experience and emerge stronger, as emphasized by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, who notes, "Emotional awareness is key to personal growth and resilience."
