Woman Angers Husband After Sending Her Son Money From Their Joint Account Without His Consent, Seeks Advice Online

Couples can monitor spending, manage budgets jointly, and save for common objectives by opening joint bank accounts. However, not every couple considers it a good decision for them.

Additionally, you don't have to stick to one strategy. In fact, you don't have to combine all of your finances to create a joint account.

Some couples only consider a joint bank account because it seems simpler to keep tabs on expenses and save for common objectives. However, just because it's "the thing to do" doesn't mean you should create a joint account.

This choice should only be taken after extensive introspection and candid discussion. The original poster of today's story manages the household finances.

She and her husband have shared checking and savings, but they each have accounts individually as well. The OP earns more than 4x what her husband does.

This means that most of the funds in their joint accounts are contributed by her because their contributions are scaled based on income. Now the OP has children from a prior relationship, and they were teenagers when she and her husband got together.

Her eldest had some employment challenges and didn’t have medical insurance for a few months. He had a bill to pay off, and the OP offered to help, but she had to dip hands into their joint account without first informing her husband.

Will this be a problem? Find out as you read the full story below.

The headline...

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And the story begins...

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He’s just getting back on his feet after finding a new job

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No discussing obligation

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I transferred money to my son and borrowed $700 from joint savings to cover it while a $700 transfer from my individual savings was in process. I may be the AH because I didn’t discuss this with my husband before making the transfers.

And the comments roll in...

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It's all a power play

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Couples do have their own money to spend

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It is not even a loan

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The entitlement is astounding

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The OP dropped this edit later on to answer some recurring questions

He is not angry that I borrowed from the joint account. The account has several thousand dollars in it and is not relied on to make ends meet. It’s our emergency fund. He’s angry that I did not discuss sending my son more money with him before offering. 2: He has no children of his own. 3: I accept that it was inconsiderate of me not to ask before doing. This was a one off situation and I never borrow money from the joint account. I only did so because our primary FI has Zelle and the FI where my individual savings does not. My issue is that I don’t think that I need to discuss sending my son money with him and he does.

This is not going to end well

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That is not how marriage works

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The OP thought it was no big deal

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Adults standing on their own two feet and being supportive

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Does the OP have a trust?

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Couples choose to have a joint account in order to manage household spending, accomplish common financial objectives such as vacation or down payment savings, and improve financial openness and communication. By combining funds, it streamlines joint finances and makes it simpler to monitor spending and saves.

But when that trust is breached because one party took out money without informing the other, it can become a big problem. In the end, the OP was declared not the AH and that's a wrap.