Keeping Lost Orange Tabby Cat: AITA for Bonding with Him?
Is it okay to keep a lost cat that has bonded with you, even if he has a loving owner desperately searching for him?
A 28-year-old man didn’t plan on adopting a cat, he just wanted to help one. It started with a skinny orange tabby showing up by his porch, clearly hungry, clearly lost, and clearly ready to trust the first human who fed him.
He fed the cat, expected to hand him off to whoever owned him, and then the cat did the one thing that makes “just return him” impossible. The tabby walked right up, curled into his lap, and purred nonstop, day after day, until bonding felt less like a mistake and more like a relationship.
Then he saw the missing cat flyer with the exact same orange tabby photo, and now he’s stuck between keeping the cat who chose him and giving the cat back to the owner who’s been searching.
Original Post
I (28M) found a skinny orange tabby cat near my porch, clearly hungry and lost. My plan was to feed him and then let him go, assuming he belonged to someone in the neighborhood.
However, as soon as I prepared some food, this little guy came right up to me, curled into my lap, and started purring nonstop. Days went by, and I couldn't bring myself to let him go.
We bonded, and I felt a connection with this sweet cat. But then, I saw a 'missing cat' flyer with his photo, and my heart sank.
It turns out this tabby does have an owner out there who's desperately looking for him. I'm torn now because I've grown attached to this cat, and he seems so happy with me.
Returning him would mean breaking that bond and possibly upsetting his owner, who misses him dearly. So, Reddit, am I the a*****e for wanting to keep the cat who found his way to me, even though he belongs to someone else?
The Bonding Dilemma
Forming an emotional bond with a lost pet can trigger feelings of attachment, as outlined in attachment theory. Our connections with animals can mirror human relationships, often invoking deep emotional responses.
Research indicates that pets can fulfill social and emotional needs, creating a sense of companionship and purpose (McNicholas et al., 2005). This bond complicates the moral dilemma of deciding whether to keep the cat or return him to his owner, highlighting the psychological struggle between emotional attachment and ethical responsibility.
Comment from u/potato_king42
Comment from u/TheRealPancake
He thought the “feed and release” plan was simple, until the orange tabby claimed his lap and started purring like he’d been there forever.
Many individuals face cognitive dissonance in situations like this, where personal satisfaction conflicts with moral obligations. Cognitive dissonance, a term coined by Leon Festinger, describes the mental discomfort experienced when holding contradictory beliefs or values.
Studies show that individuals often resolve this discomfort by either changing their beliefs or justifying their actions (Harmon-Jones & Mills, 1999). In this case, the person might rationalize keeping the cat by emphasizing their bond, highlighting a need for self-justification in emotional decision-making.
Comment from u/pro-gamer-2000
Comment from u/johndoe
After days of bonding, the missing cat flyer hit him like a punch to the chest, because it matched the exact cat in his home.
This is a bit like the OP who couldn’t walk away after buying a house with their grieving wife’s inheritance, even with the emotional fallout in Man Asks If It Was Wrong To Buy A House With Grieving Wife’s Inheritance.
Practical Steps for Resolution
Reaching out to the cat's owner can facilitate a resolution that respects both parties' emotional needs.
Engaging with the owner can provide closure and potentially allow for visitation rights, thereby alleviating the emotional burden of parting. Establishing protocols for lost animals, such as contacting local shelters or community boards, promotes ethical behavior and responsible pet ownership.
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Comment from u/xXx_dark_soul_xXx
Now he’s weighing the owner’s desperation against the fact that the cat is acting happy with him, like returning him would be a betrayal.
This situation also highlights the profound psychological benefits of altruism.
By prioritizing the cat's well-being and returning him to his owner, the individual may experience a sense of fulfillment that contributes to their own emotional health. Engaging in altruistic behavior is linked to improved mental well-being, further emphasizing the importance of considering the broader impact of our decisions.
Comment from u/Jane_Smith
Comment from u/epic_gamer420
To make it worse, the owner is out there looking, while he’s sitting with a cat that seems to have chosen him instead.
What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.
Comment from u/DefinitelyNotABot
Comment from u/throwaway_account123
This story highlights the intricate dynamics of the bond that can develop between humans and animals, particularly in unexpected circumstances. The initial intention of helping the lost orange tabby cat illustrates a common moral dilemma, where good intentions can lead to deeper emotional attachments than anticipated. As days turned into companionship, the struggle between the desire to do what is right and the emotional pull of the bond became evident.
It is crucial for individuals in similar situations to reflect on their feelings and the implications of their choices. Prioritizing the well-being of the cat while also acknowledging their own emotional journey can help navigate these complex situations. Embracing altruism in this context not only aids the lost feline but also enriches the human experience, fostering a sense of community and connection that can be profoundly rewarding.
He’s not just deciding whether he can keep an orange tabby, he’s deciding whether love is worth the heartbreak of going back.
Before you judge, read how OP got ignored after trying to avoid interrupting a friend with a speech impediment in AITA for Letting Someone Interrupt Me?
