She Refused To Share Snacks With Stranger’s Kid — Now Her Boyfriend Says She Was Being Rude

A young mom was enjoying a day out at the mall with her boyfriend and their two kids when a simple snack turned into a surprisingly awkward standoff. All she wanted was to eat her roasted chestnuts in peace — but a stranger’s child had other plans.

The Redditor admits she’s not the biggest fan of other people’s kids, especially when they wander too close to hers. Still, she tried to be polite when a boy, maybe ten years old, started hovering around their table like a curious little satellite.

At first, she smiled, hoping he’d just move along. But then he called her six-year-old son over and whispered something in his ear — and she immediately knew what it was about.

Sure enough, her son nodded yes, and the boy came straight up to her and reached into their bag of chestnuts. Without missing a beat, she moved the bag away and said, firmly but calmly, “No, you have to go ask your parents.”

That’s when her boyfriend stepped in — and not in the way she expected. Instead of backing her up, he frowned, called her rude, and handed the kid a chestnut himself.

The boy took it and wandered off, leaving her stewing. The OP turned to her boyfriend and told him he shouldn’t have done that, that you don’t just hand food to a random child at the mall.

But before she could even process the awkwardness, the kid came back. This time, without saying a word, he snatched two chestnuts right out of the bag her boyfriend was holding.

She stood up, clearly done with being polite, and said firmly, “Sorry, but you can’t take our stuff like that. Go to your parents.” Her tone was sharp enough to make the boy freeze, put the chestnuts back, and run off.

For her, that was the end of it. The child had overstepped, and she felt she’d handled it appropriately. But her boyfriend wasn’t so sure — and that’s where the real argument began.

He told her she’d overreacted, that the kid probably trusted them because they were another family with children. He thought she should’ve just shared a couple of chestnuts and moved on.

She, on the other hand, saw it completely differently. To her, the whole point was about boundaries — not the chestnuts themselves.

“I wasn’t going to let my kids think it’s okay to accept food from strangers,” she later explained. “And I wasn’t going to let them think they have to share just because someone pressures them to.”

It wasn’t about being mean; it was about modeling common sense. Kids need to learn when to say no — and that includes when someone tries to take what’s theirs.

But her boyfriend still didn’t buy it. He told her she was being selfish, that it wouldn’t have hurt anyone to be generous for a moment.

She thought it was less about generosity and more about safety — not to mention the uncomfortable precedent it set. “If a random child can just walk up and take food,” she reasoned, “what’s stopping them from doing it next time with a stranger who isn’t safe?”

When the OP shared her story online, people had very strong opinions. Many backed her up completely, saying it’s absolutely fine to say no to a kid who’s crossing boundaries.

“Just because a child is involved doesn’t mean you have to let your personal space — or your snacks — be invaded,” one commenter wrote. “You’re not a playground charity.”

Others agreed that her boyfriend’s reaction was misplaced. “It’s actually unsafe to give food to someone else’s kid without permission,” another user said. “What if that child had allergies?”

A few, though, thought she might have been a little too harsh. “It’s just one chestnut,” one comment read. “Maybe the boy was hungry or curious. It’s Halloween season, kids do weird stuff.”

But for most readers, the issue wasn’t the food — it was the principle. Parents are expected to set boundaries, not blur them because someone else might judge.

And honestly, who could blame her? Sharing might be caring, but not when it involves random kids grabbing your snacks at the mall.

Because at the end of the day, generosity is optional — but teaching your kids self-respect isn’t.

The OP stood up and said firmly, “Sorry, but you can’t take our stuff like that. Go to your parents.”

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by Reddit user 'MurderSheReads'.

The other day I was at the mall with my boyfriend and our two kids (F5 and M6), we were sitting eating a bag of roasted chestnuts when this kid (around 10 yo) starts hovering around us.Now, I admit I'm not the biggest fan of any kid that doesn’t belong to me, so this alone was already annoying me slightly but I still smilled to him.Then he calls my son over and whispers in his ear, and I knew it was about the chestnuts. My son nods yes and the boy comes up to me and reaches for a chestnut, I moved bag and said "no, you have to go ask your parents". My boyfriend got upset, called me rude and handed a chestnut to the boy. The boy leaves and I tell my boyfriend he shouldn't have done that, that you don't just give food to a strange kid.The boy than hovers back around us and without a word snatches two chestnuts from the bag that my boyfriend was now holding. I stand up and said very firmly "sorry but you can't take our stuff like that, go to your parents". He put them back and ran off.I think the kid had no education manners and I wasn't gonna let my kids think it's okay to accept anything from strangers, or that it's okay to be pressured into sharing. My boyfriend doesn’t agree and thinks the kid trusted us because we had kids ourselves. He thinks I was just selfish.So, AITA?

Navigating Shared Spaces

Dr. Penelope Leach, a child psychologist and author, emphasizes the importance of teaching children about personal boundaries. In shared spaces like parks or malls, children need guidance on respecting others’ property. This not only helps them understand the concept of ownership but also builds empathy.

Dr. Leach suggests that parents can model this behavior by discussing their own boundaries while in public. For instance, saying, 'This is my snack, and it's okay to ask, but we should respect each other's things' can instill valuable lessons.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/SoapSuddz

Your boyfriend was being reckless.

Reddit u/forvirradsvensk

Experts in child development assert that social interactions often present teachable moments for children. According to Dr. Dan Siegel, a renowned child psychiatrist, these moments can enhance emotional intelligence if approached correctly. He encourages parents to engage their children in discussions about feelings and respect during incidents like the one described.

Dr. Siegel notes that asking questions such as 'How would you feel if someone took your snack without asking?' can foster empathy and understanding, helping children navigate social norms more effectively.

He could have been allergic.

Reddit u/skmontreal

NTA.

Reddit u/Remarkable_Inchworm

Your boyfriend's behavior was gross.

Reddit u/Net_Negative

The Role of Empathy in Sharing

Child development specialist Dr. Lawrence Cohen argues that empathy plays a crucial role in teaching children about sharing and respect. He suggests that when children understand how their actions affect others, they are more likely to consider others’ feelings in the future.

Dr. Cohen recommends parents create scenarios where children can practice sharing within a safe environment. For instance, when at home, parents can organize games that require taking turns or sharing resources, reinforcing the idea that sharing is a form of caring.

Never give anything to a stranger's child.

Reddit u/OldGmaw2023

Irresponsible.

Reddit u/loobyloo488

That's a huge risk.

Reddit u/Rhudzen58

Social psychologists highlight that parental attitudes toward sharing can influence children's behavior. A study from Psychological Science indicates that children mimic their parents' behavior in social situations. If a parent is dismissive of sharing, children may adopt similar attitudes.

Therefore, experts suggest that parents should consciously model positive sharing behavior. For instance, when out with children, openly discussing sharing and demonstrating it by sharing treats with them can reinforce the lesson.

Kids are dumb.

Reddit u/hiraeth_stars

Who does that?

Reddit u/kipsterdude

The kid was a complete stranger.

Reddit u/limiz87

Emotional Responses and Conflict Resolution

According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, conflict resolution starts with understanding emotional responses. He notes that children often react defensively when they feel threatened or upset, which can escalate situations like the one described.

Dr. Gottman recommends parents teach their children to express their feelings calmly. Phrases like 'I feel upset when someone tries to take my snack' can help children articulate their emotions, leading to more constructive interactions and fewer conflicts in shared spaces.

Ick!

Reddit u/Ok-Grape2063

You’re right, he’s wrong.

Reddit u/Greyhound89

Nut allergies are too common.

Reddit u/Affectionate_Owl_105

Experts in child psychology emphasize the significance of teaching negotiation skills to children. Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a pediatrician, advocates for role-playing scenarios where children can practice asking for items instead of taking them. This method not only fosters communication but also helps children understand the value of consent.

By encouraging kids to say, 'Can I have some of that snack?' parents can help their children develop the ability to negotiate effectively, which is vital for future social interactions.

What happened to kids not taking food from strangers?

Reddit u/Erick_Brimstone

At the end of the day, it wasn’t about chestnuts — it was about boundaries. Sometimes, standing your ground means teaching your kids what respect really looks like.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights the complexity of parenting and the importance of boundaries. The mom's reaction stems from a protective instinct, emphasizing safety and teaching her children to recognize and assert their personal space. Meanwhile, her boyfriend's perspective reflects a more communal view of sharing, which can clash with the more individualistic approach of maintaining boundaries, especially in unfamiliar social situations.

Clinical Perspective & Next Steps

In navigating social interactions, especially involving children, parents play a pivotal role in setting the tone for respectful behavior. Teaching children about boundaries, empathy, and negotiation can significantly impact how they relate to others. Experts like Dr. Penelope Leach and Dr. John Gottman suggest that these lessons can start in everyday situations, turning potential conflicts into valuable learning experiences. By modeling positive behavior and encouraging open communication, parents can help their children build the skills necessary for healthy social interactions throughout their lives.