Redditor Creeped Out By Landlord Acting Like Mom, Deals With Early Curfews And Loud Door Alarm That Activates Whenever Door Opens

"She also insists that I have my schoolmates over for dinner so she can meet them."

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and one Redditor is dealing with the kind of “help” that feels more like surveillance.

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OP rents a room to a woman with a preteen son, and at first it’s normal. Then the mom starts acting like OP’s actual mom, rolling out an 8:30 PM curfew, putting loud door alarms on the entrance, and dropping weird hints about a foreign exchange program like she’s trying to force OP out.

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On top of that, OP’s classes and part-time work collide with the early curfew, and even opening the door sets off the alarm, so every move feels like it comes with consequences.

OP rents a room with a woman and her preteen son. The problem: the former has started to act like she's OP's own mom.

OP rents a room with a woman and her preteen son. The problem: the former has started to act like she's OP's own mom.Reddit
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She instituted an 8:30 PM curfew and installed loud alarms on doors to prevent disruptions. She then started making comments about a foreign exchange program, implying that she wanted to kick OP out.

She instituted an 8:30 PM curfew and installed loud alarms on doors to prevent disruptions. She then started making comments about a foreign exchange program, implying that she wanted to kick OP out.Reddit
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OP's main issue is obtaining control over the alarm system to avoid disturbing her, as their hectic schedule, including classes and part-time work, clashes with the early curfew.

OP's main issue is obtaining control over the alarm system to avoid disturbing her, as their hectic schedule, including classes and part-time work, clashes with the early curfew.Reddit

The landlord's behavior may reflect a misguided attempt to establish authority over the tenant, which can create tension and discomfort.

Research on power dynamics indicates that when one party feels insecure, they may overcompensate by asserting control inappropriately.

They have conflicting schedules, with OP needing to work and study extensively, while the landlord is a stay-at-home mom.

They have conflicting schedules, with OP needing to work and study extensively, while the landlord is a stay-at-home mom.Reddit

OP has been staying with friends due to the early curfew, but the mother's requests to meet their friends and her concerns about safety are uncomfortable.

Finding a new place is hard, leaving OP unsure about how to handle the situation.

Scroll on to see what people had to say!

OP has been staying with friends due to the early curfew, but the mother's requests to meet their friends and her concerns about safety are uncomfortable.Reddit

Here's a TLDR:

Here's a TLDR:Reddit

The first red flag is the 8:30 PM curfew, because OP is trying to juggle classes and a part-time job, not live by a bedtime schedule.</p>

In this scenario, the landlord's actions—such as imposing curfews and monitoring guests—can be seen as invasive and indicative of a lack of boundaries.

This situation sounds like the start of a bad Lifetime movie plot.

This situation sounds like the start of a bad Lifetime movie plot.Reddit

The landlord's controlling tendencies are getting as dramatic as a movie script.

The landlord's controlling tendencies are getting as dramatic as a movie script.Reddit

"You gotta move out."

"You gotta move out."Reddit

Creating Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are fundamental in any relationship, including those between landlords and tenants.

But that's so weird...

But that's so weird...Reddit

Even a 9 PM weekend curfew is excessive for a 15-year-old, let alone a young adult.

Even a 9 PM weekend curfew is excessive for a 15-year-old, let alone a young adult.Reddit

Regardless, it's still unreasonable.

Regardless, it's still unreasonable.Reddit

Then the loud door alarm shows up, and suddenly OP is scared to even open the door without triggering a whole scene.</p>

This also hits like the roommate fight over rent, where the roommate’s parent wanted to move in and the OP refused to split equally.

Landlords can benefit from training in tenant relations, focusing on empathy and communication skills.

A weekend curfew at 9 PM for a young adult is just unreal!

A weekend curfew at 9 PM for a young adult is just unreal!Reddit

It seems like the foreign exchange program could be the escape plan here.

It seems like the foreign exchange program could be the escape plan here.Reddit

Indeed, the situation seems far from ordinary. Moving out might be the best move to regain a sense of normalcy and personal space.

Indeed, the situation seems far from ordinary. Moving out might be the best move to regain a sense of normalcy and personal space.Reddit

Given the landlord's overstepping, it might be advisable for OP to seek a new place before the landlord decides on the foreign exchange program.

Given the landlord's overstepping, it might be advisable for OP to seek a new place before the landlord decides on the foreign exchange program.Reddit

If the curfew's not in the lease, OP has the upper hand. It's time to assert their rights and disarm that alarm code from the landlord.

If the curfew's not in the lease, OP has the upper hand. It's time to assert their rights and disarm that alarm code from the landlord.Reddit

The month-to-month lease is indeed a potential hurdle. OP should consider negotiating or finding a new place to avoid the landlord's overbearing behavior.

The month-to-month lease is indeed a potential hurdle. OP should consider negotiating or finding a new place to avoid the landlord's overbearing behavior.Reddit

The eviction rules vary by state, so OP should definitely check the local laws to see if they have any protection against eviction in this situation.

The eviction rules vary by state, so OP should definitely check the local laws to see if they have any protection against eviction in this situation.Reddit

Month-to-month leases allow either party to give one month's notice, providing flexibility in this situation. The tenant has some options to consider!

Month-to-month leases allow either party to give one month's notice, providing flexibility in this situation. The tenant has some options to consider!Reddit

This situation is undeniably bizarre, with the landlord steadily encroaching on the tenant's life and vice versa.

This situation is undeniably bizarre, with the landlord steadily encroaching on the tenant's life and vice versa.Reddit

OP's approach seems like the perfect script for resolving the situation while maintaining respect and boundaries.

OP's approach seems like the perfect script for resolving the situation while maintaining respect and boundaries.Reddit

Once OP decides to move, the landlord's reaction may include shock, blame, or attempts to negotiate.

Once OP decides to move, the landlord's reaction may include shock, blame, or attempts to negotiate.Reddit

It does have that eerie setup, doesn't it?

It does have that eerie setup, doesn't it?Reddit

Assertiveness is key here! A clear statement of boundaries and an exit plan should help OP steer clear of this overbearing role-reversal situation.

Assertiveness is key here! A clear statement of boundaries and an exit plan should help OP steer clear of this overbearing role-reversal situation.Reddit

Couch surfing might just be the more appealing option until the semester ends!

Couch surfing might just be the more appealing option until the semester ends!Reddit

The situation is beyond overstepping; it's absurd.

The situation is beyond overstepping; it's absurd.Reddit

OP should assert themselves and find a better living arrangement.

OP should assert themselves and find a better living arrangement.Reddit

"She's a freakin' nut case..."

"She's a freakin' nut case..."Reddit

Boundaries, boundaries!

Boundaries, boundaries!Reddit

"She's crazy."

"She's crazy."Reddit

Things get even more awkward when the mom starts asking to meet OP’s friends, acting concerned about safety in a way that feels controlling.</p>

That’s when OP realizes the foreign exchange program comments might not be random at all, they might be the landlord hinting at an exit plan.</p>

This situation definitely paints a vivid picture of a boundary-crossing landlord-tenant relationship, leaving readers to ponder the complexities of asserting one's independence in shared living spaces. Do you have a similar story to share?

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

The relationship between tenants and landlords is often complicated, especially in scenarios where personal boundaries blur. In this case, the tenant finds themselves under the watchful eye of a landlord who imposes curfews and monitors comings and goings with a loud door alarm. Such behavior not only disrupts the tenant's autonomy but also creates an atmosphere of discomfort that can escalate tensions. The landlord's motherly demeanor may stem from good intentions, but it ultimately leads to a stifling environment. Recognizing and addressing the psychological aspects of this relationship could pave the way for a more respectful and satisfying living arrangement for both the tenant and the landlord.

OP might be the only one who feels “at home,” and now they’re wondering if moving out is the only way to get their life back.

For another invasive living arrangement, see what happened when a student’s parents planned to move into their dorm as an Airbnb.

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